Last weekend while I was taking a short vacation in Rehoboth Beach to enjoy the jazz festival, I started pondering a common spending conundrum. When we spend money on things we enjoy, particularly if they are expensive things (relative to our financial picture) — when it is splurging and when does it cross the line and become spending that sabotages our financial goals?

Let’s face it, spending money and splurging on stuff we enjoy is often rationalized with the message “but I DESERVE it”. Of course you do! However, sometimes the rationalization of “I deserve it” is emotional spending at play. Emotional spending is when you spend money to make yourself feel better. Whether you call it retail therapy or something entirely different, it is the practice of unloading your hard earned cash in a futile attempt to make yourself feel better. The bad news is that no one can make you feel good on the inside except YOU and no amount of money spent can fill a void or help you get your emotional needs met. All it can do is pass a lot of precious time and leave you with a pile of debt or a miniscule of savings because you threw money at a bunch of “stuff”.

That being said, an occasional splurge here and there is part of what makes life interesting. If all you’re working for is to pay for necessities and put every last dime away in savings, it makes for a pretty dull existence. I’ve worked with my fair share of folks who maxed out every savings vehicle socking it all away for one day retirement only to either never reach retirement or to retire and drop dead or get ill shortly thereafter. Planning and saving is great as long as it is tempered with enjoying what you have in the present as well. That is the holy grail of financial planning — finding that balance between spending to enjoy now and saving to enjoy later.

Let’s say you’re out on the town, on vacation, or even just humming along in daily life. How do you determine if you’re in the splurge zone or heading down sabotage alley? Ask yourself these questions:

Have I carefully thought about this purchase?

You don’t have to analyze everything to death, but a ton of impulse buying can leave you feeling remorseful.

Does this purchasing decision blow my bigger financial plan out of whack?

f one purchase (or series of “easy monthly payments”) is going to hose your bigger financial and life plan, it is most definitely sabotage alley.

Will this choice bring me lasting fulfillment?

Is the some “thing” you buy going to be used often and last a while so your money brings you residual joy going forward? Will the choice bring lasting memories of peak experiences? If it is a big purchase and the joy will only last as long as a round of Dom Perignon, you’re headed in the wrong direction.

What do I make this purchase mean about me?

If your purchases start defining who you are (see my life vs. lifestyle article) you’re in trouble. It’s time to back up and reassess what you really want.

Do I find myself splurging all the time?

Splurging is good and how much is “too much” is unique to every individual. My mother still thinks I’m living large just because I take multiple vacations a year (mini and week-long). However, if you find splurging to become a way of life versus a nice diversion, it might be time to take a closer look at some of the earlier questions about “why” you are spending and to define what the bigger financial and life plan looks like for you.

It doesn’t have to take a ton of work, but a little conscious intention in the way you choose to spend your money can go a long way towards not only reaching your financial goals but also feeling more fulfilled along the way.