“The first divorce in the world may have been a tragedy, but the hundred-millionth is not necessarily one.” – Anatole Broyard

Reese and RyanI think it’s tragic that Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Phillippe are separating. Yesterday, their publicist announced this news after seven years of marriage.

The Guardian reports that, “The Witherspoon-Phillippe split would seem to confirm that the best actress Oscar appears to be a marriage wrecker. In January, two-time Oscar winner Hilary Swank split from husband Chad Lowe. In fact, six of the last nine best actress winners have eventually separated from the partners they thanked while clutching their Oscars.”

Jeanine and I are Reese fans and we were both disappointed with this news. They seemed to be one of the few grounded and down-to-earth Hollywood couples that valued relationship, children and marriage. Of course, we don’t personally know Reese and Ryan, so our disappointment is silly and superficial. However, in my opinion, any lengthy celebrity marriage is a powerful archetype that shows humans thriving in the partnership of marriage.

So seven years isn’t that long, but in the age of Britney Spears’ hours-long Vegas marriage and Renee Zellweger dipping her toe in the country water for what seemed like two seconds… well, Reese and Ryan seemed so stable and happy.

Now the ugly begins. The tabloid stories. The custody battle. The fight over all the money, homes and things. Breakups are expensive.

Some of the best advice on this topic comes from Lynnette Khalfani, one of my favorite personal finance authors. I reviewed her latest book last month here and her website is found at The Money Coach. She writes, “Don’t let your love life become a revolving door.” This especially applies to gays and lesbians cohabitating without the protection of marriage. Something we talk about often at Queercents.

Khalfani continues, “Realize that breakups are expensive. They can take their toll in a number of ways. Divorce is financially costly — not to mention emotionally painful. Whenever a couple divorces, assuming it takes a year to go through court proceedings, the economic recovery period is two and a half years, as each party adjusts to the costs of running two households instead of one.”

“If the divorce drags on for two years, then it typically takes five years for the parties to recover financially. You should realize that instability in your personal life can also have a much longer and much more severe impact on your personal finances.”

“So please don’t think being stable is boring. Having some degree of permanence, or at least longevity, will actually put you in good financial stead — and help you avoid a lot of unnecessary drama.”

Drama-rama… most lesbians can relate to this… including me. Another case in point about why marriage is and will be an important step for queers someday.