Christmas ornamentMy company, like most in the U.S., jettisoned the “rollover” vacation days a while ago. Too bad! Wouldn’t it be awesome? Save up those vacation days for 5 or 10 years, and then take a six-month trek through Europe or South America.

Nope. Today it’s use it or lose it, and studies suggest most Americans are losing it”in more ways than one! We start out with fewer vacation days per year than any other developed country, according to Monster.com, just 12 days a year on average, compared to 21 vacation days a year in Canada, 23 in the UK, 27 in Germany and a whopping 39 in France.

But then, we don’t even use all the vacation days we have coming to us. A survey by Harris Interactive shows that “The average employed American sacrificed three days of vacation this year [2004] according to the survey. That is up 50 percent from the two days they gave up in 2003. Thirty percent of employed adults give up vacation time they have earned, resulting in a total of 415 million unused vacation days in 2004.”

So we have less vacation, and we don’t use even that. Why? Some people claim they are too busy; some just don’t plan ahead, and then it’s too late. For some, it’s actually fear of losing their job: “Some 11 percent of respondents to the Monster poll said pressure from the boss prevented them from using their full vacation; 9 percent said they feared being laid off.”

I think that’s incredibly sad, but understandable. As gays and lesbians, we know what it’s like to be afraid to speak up, and we read very well those subtle signs from others that tell us to just conform.

But I think we should resist those pressures. Vacation isn’t some kind of perk or reward for good behavior, it’s an entitlement of the job like your pay. Avoiding your vacation days often backfires, too: stress and resentment build up; our health can deteriorate; we get ourselves into crisis mode and suddenly we’re taking “mental health” sick days and even unplanned leaves of absence.

On the up side, think about the advantages of taking the time off, besides just enjoying yourself. It’s good for your health to unplug, de-stress, and do something fun, especially this time of year. It’s good for your relationships, to have unfettered time where you can just talk and cook or hike or see a show or play board games. And, interestingly enough for employers, CNN reports that many of people’s best work ideas come to them during vacation, when stress isn’t clouding their higher creative faculties.

If you can’t help yourself, maybe your employer can. The New York Times reported that “Shrinking-vacation syndrome has gotten so bad that at least one major American company, the accounting firm PricewaterhouseCoopers, has taken to shutting down its entire national operation twice a year to ensure that people stop working ” for about 10 days over Christmas, and 5 days or so around the Fourth of July.” Sounds good to me!

A while back Nina suggested people take long weekends as mini-vacations if they couldn’t get away for a stretch, which I think is a terrific idea”a number of small breaks rather than one huge one, and probably less disruptive to your work.

But if you’re like me, with about 2 weeks of vacation days left and a deadline of January 1, it will take more than a long weekend to use those days up! I’m proud to say though that I think I will manage to use every single one (if you will let me count January 2nd as part of 2006). I’m actually looking forward to my plans, though it may sound to some people like more work: I need to prime and paint the study, cut down a few overgrown and dead trees in the back field, and finish up some last-minute Christmas shopping.

But most of all, I’m looking forward to ENJOYING this season, and not the commercial aspect of it. I want to put on the Christmas tunes and sing along, help my partner bake some seasonal treats, and enjoy time with the family around the Christmas tree, which we decorated last weekend. With shopping and stressing behind me, it will be two weeks of pure, unadulterated relaxation. Hope you are planning much the same.