Helena, The L Word, and The M Word
“I’ve been rich and I’ve been poor. Rich is better.” — Sophie Tucker
Jeanine and I finally caught the replay last night of The L Word’s premiere of Season 4. In case you missed it, AfterEllen.com provides a preview of the entire season along with weekly recaps. Helena, our favorite trust fund darling, experiences money problems as her mother cuts her off from her life of wealth.
AfterEllen.com explains, “Since we first met her in Season 2, we’ve seen Helena transform from a rich bitch who casually cut Bette’s funding and dated her ex to a more human, rich bitch friend who paid for Shane’s wedding.”
“Now that she’s penniless, how is Helena going to make a living, considering her only real skill sets consist of shopping and ordering people around? Well, remember how she had that miraculous personality transformation between Seasons 2 and 3? This year, she develops some miraculous new skills (using coupons and reading bus schedules) while BFF Alice helps her out by inviting her to be her roommate.”
We also learn from Showtime that, “Helena finds a life of restricted means too unbearable and delves into a dangerous liaison in order to ensure her financial security.”
Money, money, money… it makes the world go around. And the lack of it makes Helena’s world spin out of control. But Helena became the rich monster in Season 2 by having a mother who enabled her with money.
So now, in Season 4 does Helena become a self-sustaining woman and reverse the product of her mother’s poor parenting? The first step is to accept responsibility for her financial state and never be dependent on someone else. That’s a better lesson learned at 22 then at 38. Suze Orman has lots to say about raising financially self-reliant and responsible children and cutting them loose by the time they are young adults.
She writes, “That’s the most powerful gift any parent can bestow on their kids, yet all too often I see parents who think it’s their role to always take care of their kids rather than teach them how to take care of themselves. Indulging a 22-year-old like he or she is 12 years old is a disservice to your kid.”
“Exactly when do you expect them to grow up? And exactly when do you expect to finally do your job by showing them how it’s done? Your blind devotion to those you love can often cause you to make some financial and familial missteps.”
According to an article in the LA Times, “An estimated 5 million American households have assets exceeding $1 million, and children growing up in these homes face challenges their parents may not be aware of.”
Gary Buffone, who authored a book called, Choking on the Silver Spoon: Keeping Your Kids Healthy, Wealthy, and Wise in a Land of Plenty says, “At some point, many kids begin to manifest symptoms of what I call the silver spoon syndrome. Those symptoms: boredom, financial irresponsibility, dependency, addiction, narcissistic entitlement and failure in both business and personal relationships.” Sounds a lot like Helena.
“Savvy affluent parents can prevent the silver spoon syndrome by applying five ‘immutable laws of financial parenting’ from the time the kids are toddlers.” Those laws:
1. Set reasonable limits
2. Demand that the kids earn what they receive
3. Provide necessities, but not luxuries
4. Require responsibility — don’t just buy a new car for the kid who crashed the old one
5. Practice what you preach
The damage is already done with Helena, but it will be entertaining to watch what her newfound life on a budget brings. If she cannot get by on what she earns then she has two choices. Make more money or spend less. When you’re just starting out, it is usually easier to find ways to spend less.
Over time by spending less, Helena will hopefully have more money to invest and that is how she will make money. Her own money. Not Mama’s… or a soon to be introduced Sugar-Mama. But let’s not jump to conclusions. Perhaps, Helena will surprise us with what she becomes in Season 4.
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