Women Paying Cash to Hide Self Indulgences
“There’s nothing wrong with cash. It gives you time to think.” — Robert Prechter, Jr.
Ladies, ladies, ladies… the funny things you do. Here’s an interesting article that appeared in The New York Times on Sunday. It’s about women feeling the need to use cash as a way to hide from their husbands how much they spend on personal indulgences. I suspect this might be a shoes, bag, and clothes thing. Is it a straight thing too? Or do lesbians hide purchases from their partners by paying cash?
Shivani Vora writes, “After months of eyeing a black Chanel tote at Saks Fifth Avenue, Shalla Azizian was ready to splurge. Instead of charging the $2,000 bag to a credit card, Ms. Azizian, a lingerie boutique owner in Manhattan, discreetly plunked down a stack of crisp bills she brought for the purchase.”
“Ms. Azizian has earned her financial independence, but to avoid the disapproval of her husband of 27 years, she adopts a low profile by using cash.” Yuck… why is she acting like the 1950s housewife?
The article continues, “These purchases harken back to a time when far fewer women worked and in some cases received allowances from their husbands, whose hold on the family purse strings enforced their power as head of household.”
“But today, even though about 56.2 percent of women 16 and older work and though marriage has become much more of a partnership of equals, a surprising number of women still find it necessary to hide how much they spend on personal items, especially stereotypical female indulgences like clothing.”
Vora also interviewed a 50-year-old anonymous woman from New Jersey about her secret life of cash. The article notes, “She’s married with three homes, but she still feels the need to tuck away money for her own purchases, which lets her maintain her independence.”
But is this just a woman thing or is it a power issue stemming from who maintains control of the finances. Remember when Kathy Griffin’s husband (now ex-husband) was sneaking into her purse, taking ATM cards (of her private accounts) and withdrawing money. I guess that’s stealing so it’s not an apples-to-apples comparison, but it hits along the same lines of a mate hiding something when it comes to money.
MP Dunleavey at MSN Money writes, “One woman I know calls the several thousand dollars she has squirreled away her ‘security blanket.’ It’s not an escape route (she and her hubby are happily married). Nor does she think he would mind if he knew about it. She’s just afraid he’d want to spend it — and she likes being able to pay for extras for herself and the kids. Another woman has a fascinating ‘don’t ask, don’t tell’ policy with her spouse. After they pay the bills, he doesn’t ask what she does with the money she earns and she doesn’t tell him.”
She quickly though explains that, “This isn’t about women hiding money from men. It’s about the fact that both genders hide money from their mates, and how you can tell — and when you should care — if it happens to be your partner.”
Click over to her article and learn Ten Ways to tell if Your Mate is Hiding Money. And more importantly should you care? You betcha! But that’s my opinion. I always like to hear what you think?
Hm. I’ll bet that, should I have several grand to plunk down on a purse, I’d do it with cash, too. Because I know that my sig other would disapprove of my spending. Because I spend money like most people breathe. Constantly. Ignorantly.
I don’t know if I’d feel comfy “squirrel”ing away money that my partner was earning, though, say, if I was a stay-at-home mom or something. I’d much rather be open about spending.
In this week’s Carnival of the Insanities:
http://drsanity.blogspot.com/2007/01/carnival-of-insanities_21.html