Jill Kimmel-HankoffCan you fall in love with a rich person just as easily as a poor one? It was this question that led me to Jill Kimmel-Hankoff several months ago when I posted about her Gay Millionaires Club. Jill is the Founder & COO and she has some thought provoking things to say about money, relationships and what bucks have to do with finding love.

1. Is there anything wrong with making money a qualification for love?
I am not so sure that being successful is necessarily a “qualification” for love at Gay Millionaires Club. We represent successful men seeking a loving partnership, men who happen to be millionaires”the personification of success in today’s world. Success is an asset someone brings to a relationship. Successful individuals are sought after by others, whether they are successful in their own right, or hoping to be in their own life.

Everyone’s mother wants her child to meet someone successful”no mother I have ever known has ever said, “Honey, I want you to go forth and find yourself a poor slob and live happily ever after.” No, it is more likely she will encourage her child to seek out someone who is in forward motion, someone with something to offer her child, someone who has goals, ambition, and who ideally could protect her child from harm if need be.

In the context of Gay Millionaires Club, where we work with high net worth individuals, it makes sense that many hope to meet one of our clients. This is almost ingrained”a human condition, much like a fight or flight response. The curiosity about what a life with riches beyond your own reach is like”is a very sexy fascination to most people- that’s why television shows like Lifestyles of the Rich and Famous, or Cribs, or Who Wants To Be a Millionaire have done so well.

Most men do not achieve this level of success”they only dream of it. As we like to point out, wanting to meet someone of this caliber makes perfect sense, especially if YOU have something to offer”it might not be money”but there is always a yin/yang in a relationship. One person may have the money; the other has the nurturing personality, or organizing skills, etc.

2. How important is it for couples to have the same philosophy about money?
EXTREMELY. If a client has spent years working hard to build a fortune and along comes a guy who simply wants to squander it”that isn’t going make for a very good match. Values are a huge part of compatibility, and financial values are up at the top of the list.

3. There’s a fine line between appreciating wealth and wanting to benefit from it. What are some of the reasons that men give for wanting a wealthy partner?
I don’t believe that many of the men who come to Gay Millionaires Club actually know”or really appreciate the kind of wealth our clients have”it’s a big unknown when you have not lived that lifestyle. It’s a fantasy world and they are curious. The truth is I believe many simply want to ‘trade up’ from someone who can never pay his own way or never offers, or who is unemployed.

We hear a lot of complaints about the quality of men “out there” and so many guys tell us that they are looking to meet someone who can take care of himself. To me that implies that there are a lot of men “out there” who don’t carry their own weight”who are fiscally irresponsible, and not at all “bringing it” to the party so to speak. Why not meet a millionaire”sounds better in that context doesn’t it?

4. It takes time and effort to find a soul mate. Do you agree with the proverbial saying that time is money?
Absolutely. If you have a man who is earning $2,000,000 a year- that translates to $962 per HOUR. Does it make sense for this individual to spend two hours with an online date with a guy who said he was one thing and showed up as another? Or even spend two hours on the phone with someone who is misrepresenting himself? Of course it doesn’t”there is so much more he could do with that time”whether it is making more money, or spending it with his family doing something he enjoys.

5. What role does money typically play in a relationship made up of disproportionate bank accounts?
Money is supposed to make life easier, not harder. Where there are disproportionate bank accounts, I would hope that both parties are bringing something of value to the relationship and are ok with his respective ‘role’ in the relationship.

6. Are men who define themselves by their wealth really worth knowing?
This depends on the man”are we talking about someone like Bill Gates or Warren Buffett? I would think that either of these men would be awesome dining companions who could teach anyone a thing or two and I would be honored to be in the company of either of them. On the other hand, there are some wealthy men who I would not want to know”Larry Flint, Hugh Heffner to name just a two. I’m not so sure either of these men have anything I want! Rupert Murdoch… maybe… Ross Perot? David Geffen, sure!

7. Which is more important: how much money you make or how you spend it?
How you spend what you’ve earned is most important- most millionaires are not seen as squandering their money.

8. Wealth is just one aspect of success. Why is there so much emphasis then on your clients’ net worth?
Yes, you are absolutely right”wealth is not the measure of a man. Your question is a simple one, from a business standpoint that is. The first ‘qualifier’ we look at to determine if someone is eligible to retain our service is that he be a millionaire. At GMC, we define a millionaire as someone who has a net worth of one million dollars or more and a six figure income. However, that said, we don’t qualify a client only on his income or net worth. There are many other criteria that factor in to our acceptance of a client. Additionally, on the ‘applicant’ side (non-millionaires)”while income and net worth are not qualifiers, there are many other factors we use to determine someone’s eligibility to join Gay Millionaires Club.

9. Money can buy many things, but can it buy happiness?
In a word, ‘no’.

10. Will there ever be a Lesbian Millionaires Club?
We used to work with lesbians — now our focus is on gay men only.

More about Jill Kimmel-Hankoff
Jill Kimmel-Hankoff, COO of the Gay Millionaires Club has been active in the matchmaking business for more than fourteen years. During that time Hankoff has started a number of companies; all providing services to help singles connect.

In the 1992 Hankoff, began her first foray into the matchmaking world with California Singles, an active lifestyle club which set up activities and parties. In 1994, Hankoff created the Lesbian Dining Club which provided monthly dinners for eligible women in the LA area and the opportunity to meet in a non-threatening, relaxed environment.

Following the success of the Lesbian Dining Club, Hankoff began offering the same type of events to gay men with the debut of Gay Gourmet. Hankoff knew first hand that many successful professionals did not have the time to attend Gay Gourmet functions. Through the acquisition of a video introduction service for gay men called Adam and Steve Hankoff realized the true value of one-on-one matchmaking services. And, while surfing the Internet has become common these days many gay men are looking for more in terms of commitment and relationships than they can receive from traditional online dating channels. Hankoff seized the opportunity to provide these services and launched Gay Millionaires Club in 2001.

Today, Hankoff dedicates all of her time to the Gay Millionaires Club where her understanding of the art of matchmaking has allowed her to succeed in her chosen niche working exclusively with gay men. Gay Millionaires Club has recently expanded operations to include lifestyle management / concierge services, and a ‘Millionaire in Training’ mentoring program. She currently resides in Westwood California with her two cats Buster and Precious.

Read other Queercents interviews in the Ten Money Questions archive.