Buying Experiences Rather Than Things
“Maybe all we can hope to do is end with the right regrets.” — Arthur Miller
Every several months, my partner, Jeanine, pulls out a world map and after unfolding it bemoans all the places she has never been. I try to take the-glass-is-half-full approach and point to the many locations that we have already visited. Compared to our parents’ experience, it reads a bit like, Where in the World is Matt Lauer? My parents have never been out of the country and Jeanine’s mother, who is the same age, hasn’t either.
She always lets out a sigh and says, “So many places to see, so little time.” This is the conversation that typically leads to her planning our next vacation. We like to travel. There are people who like to spend money on things and others who like to spend it on experiences. We definitely fall into the latter category.
Jean Chatzky, editor at large for Money Magazine, agrees with our experiential living philosophy. In her recent article entitled, Shopping for Happiness? Here’s What to Buy, she writes, “The pursuit of money and the pursuit of happiness often get equated, especially in our success-addled culture. But over the past decade or so, science has set us straight on two points: First, once you have escaped poverty, more money won’t buy you more happiness. There’s little difference in the overall happiness of millionaires and the middle class. And second, if you are going to spend your money in search of greater happiness, you’re better off buying experiences rather than things.”
What types of experiences will give you the biggest bang for the buck? Click here for Chatzky’s list.
She suggests that we pay attention to the smaller, day-to-day occurrences. It sounds like the author, Alexandra Stoddard and her 5-percent rule. She believes that most people concentrate their energies on the things that are reserved for special occasions rather than things that we do or use everyday.
“The 5-percent rule translates into a tendency to save up for a few outstanding events each year — for a particular party, anniversary or birthday celebration, a vacation. Such events comprise at the most 5 percent of our living time, and the remaining 95 percent is often merely walked through in wistful anticipation of some later joy.”
We do a bit of this with the annual vacation, however even in our day-to-day life, we buy experiences vs. things. We’ll spend money on a nice piece of fish and an above average bottle of Sauvignon Blanc. That’s a typical Tuesday night for us. We enjoy the experience of cooking together.
Paula has written in the past about spending her “fun money” on the occasional but planned wine splurge. She writes, “We love wine and really enjoy having different producers, countries, grape styles, and price ranges on hand for our wide range of culinary whims.” Paula’s buying experiences!
Rich has written about it too. He cites an article in Mother Jones that calls it the ‘Laura Ingalls Wilder effect’ (of Little House on the Prairie fame). Laura’s story was of “a life rich in family, rich in connection to the natural world, rich in adventure — but materially deprived.” He writes, “Our current pursuit of material well-being is not only failing to make us any happier, but it is trashing the planet and is literally making us crazy.”
Dana Yochim from The Motley Fool once interviewed a researcher from the University of Chicago who concluded, “In the end, happiness is about wanting and managing what you already have.”
Whether it’s traveling to an exotic locale or enjoying some crusty bread and a plate of imported cheese on your back yard patio. It’s not that expensive to participate in life and be happy.
This article reminds me of my favorite phrases “the best is yet to come.” I don’t know who said it first, but the words make me feel better in good and not-so-good times. No matter how good things get they’ll get better, and no matter what goes wrong it too will get better.
I have a friend with a world map on her wall and little round stickers on each city she’s visited. Y’all might like that.
I like to spend on trips, too, but I get a lot of enjoyment out of the planning and, while I am there, I try to take pictures and write in my journal each night. Then when I get home, I work on putting the words and pictures into a scrapbook. And then every time I look at that scrapbook I remember a lot of my favorite (and not so favorite) things about the trip. So I do stretch those travel dollars!
Also, seeing other places often enriches how I experience my own home. After visiting Big Bend National Park, I noticed century plants growing in my own town also. After visiting Belgium, I noticed we have delicious bakery foods at home too (I’d just been too cheap to notice before). I also had a greater appreciation for free large glasses of ice water at restaurants!
I’ve not done the heavy vacationing thing….though I’m working up to it with a 7 day Carrbean Cruise (OK…no Jokes about “Carribean Queen” Please…}:~D }:~D) this coming September with 4 other friends.
1/ First Cruise for me….
2/ After a Lifetime of being Frugal it was still difficult to part with the $900 even though I am well able to afford it..(Wallet Moths are still pissed about being evicted.)…
3/ Having been the owner of a Small Business with the attendent 80-90 hour weeks and one Ten Year stretch with a Single Two Week Vacation during that time I am beginning to look forward to it.
In my (So Far) unsubstantiated Opinion I think this will fall into the definition of an “Experiential Vacation”…..and the Chance to Rent a Harley for a bike tour on St Maarten looks to be FUN…
~ Roland
“People concentrate their energies on the things that are reserved for special occasions rather than things that we do or use everyday.”
It’s true. Some time ago, I realized that I often saved my “nice” shirts for “special” occasions. At some point, the shirts went out of style and I hadn’t even worn them much.
Now, I try to treat myself to wearing “nice” clothes even if there’s no special occasion. I try to remember to make average days “special.”
Gary
this article has really got me thinking. This winter I saved up my vacation days so that I (and my family) could take a long trip to Hawaii. So, over the winter there were times when I could really have used a day off work here and there but I didn’t take it because I needed to save up those vacation days. I grew more and more stressed out and burned out waiting for that darned vacation. And when the vacation came it was AWFUL. Terrible trip. I arrived home feeling more stressed out (and though we had saved money for the trip and didn’t spend more than we had budgeted we still ended up feeling that we paid too much for such misery) and with buyers remorse. And no vacation time left to de-stress.
I had already decided that I’m not doing that again. Though I’m not going to start using up my leave days as I earn them, I am definitely going to use them as I need them instead of saving them up for that perfect trip. This post give me some resources to use to justify my new choice.
In this week’s Carnival of the Insanities:
http://drsanity.blogspot.com/2007/05/carnival-of-insanities_20.html