Comments on: Sleeping with Money: Our First Big Money Fight

By: Money and Relationships

Money and Relationships — Tue, 01 Sep 2009 13:00:18 +0000

i truly agree with your opinion that money does bring in a lot of changes in relationships At times couples are squabbing over money matters and their relationships affects a lot because of this. i too was one of the victim to this and i was adviced by one of my friend to get rid of this and i did ...

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: Queercents » Blog Archive » Financial Infidelity: Do Money Secrets Undermine a Relationship?

Mon, 31 Mar 2008 13:30:36 +0000

[...] do you recall that first big money fight I had with Jeanine? That hovered in the “white lie” category… what you don’t know won’t [...]

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: Queercents » Blog Archive » Home Equity Line of Credit at Your Disposal

Thu, 18 Oct 2007 14:32:47 +0000

[...] time (when we had our first big money fight), a family member asked Jeanine to dip into our line of credit for a loan. It was a double freak [...]

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: Queercents » Lesbians and IVF: Coping with the Cost of Infertility

Queercents » Lesbians and IVF: Coping with the Cost of Infertility — Mon, 23 Jul 2007 17:15:18 +0000

[...] Jeanine and I are really fortunate that we're using savings and not going into debt with everything. But if you're a regular reader, then you know I'm the one with the hoarder tendencies when it comes to finances. So spending money is riddled with lots of emotions and issues that predate Jeanine... most go back to my childhood and the unhealthy relationship my parents had with money. Childhood, parents, and babies -- everything cycles in life and I'm learning through this experience a lot about myself and Jeanine. [...]

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: Mapgirl’s Fiscal Challenge / I Lost the Love of My Life Due to Money

Mapgirl’s Fiscal Challenge / I Lost the Love of My Life Due to Money — Wed, 27 Jun 2007 13:29:43 +0000

[...] Nina has a thought-provoking post at Queercents about the Big Money Fight. [...]

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: MoneyChangesThings

MoneyChangesThings — Mon, 25 Jun 2007 14:49:14 +0000

My husband and I have an agreed upon amount we can spend without consulting the other: $200. This is a minuscule amount relative to our NW, but in the interests of family peace I haven't lobbied for a higher amount. In my experience, you go with the Highest Anxiety Denominator. There was an article in the NYTimes a few months ago about wives who squirrel away cash and buy themselves expensive (as in $1000+) lingerie, pocket books, et al, and keep it their little secret. I think such a deception is vile, and corrosive for relationships.

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: Retire Young and Wealthy » Blog Archives » Carnival of Money Stories #15

Mon, 25 Jun 2007 04:25:36 +0000

[...] Nina writes about her first argument over money with her partner: Sleeping with Money: Our First Big Money Fight [...]

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: Murano

Murano — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 06:23:48 +0000

Its great that your relationship is so good especially with the financial side. I Have a number of friends who's relationships have really been tested by unwise spending from one of them.

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: jt in the army

jt in the army — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 01:15:59 +0000

What a coincidence this article comes out right when my roommate and I argue over finding a place to sent. I have a budget, trying to save an emergency fund, pay off debt and start retirement savings. He has little debt and isn't thinking long term savings. $250 a month makes a big difference in debts and savings.

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)

By: Patti

Patti — Fri, 22 Jun 2007 15:33:51 +0000

I suppose this is an opportunity for you two to define how much of "her money is my money and my money is her money". Earnings, savings and debt included. Do you both make about the same amount of money by the way? To me, the completely shared resources model is the classic (dare I say hetero marriage) model, and being in non-traditional relationships, we get to redefine this if we like. (As are many younger straight couples). There are probably lots of fair ways to address this, just keep it clear that you love each other very much, and don't turn the money management into a symbol of how much you love or are committed to each other. I bought my niece and her fiance a pre-marriage work book recently, that walked them through a chapter exploring their financial values and assumptions. It might be a helpful tool to grab something like that for your discussion. Best wishes to you both, Patti p.s. this loan was to a family member. you might also want to ask yourself, "is her family my family, and is my family her family"? What does family committment mean to each of you?

Current score: 0 (to vote for this comment, please visit the site)