Comments on: Sleeping With Money: Out Earning Your Partner http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/ We're here, We're queer, and We're not going Shopping without Coupons Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:23:21 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Queercents » Blog Archive » Sleeping with Money: Pony Up or Put Out http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-85388 Queercents » Blog Archive » Sleeping with Money: Pony Up or Put Out Thu, 29 Nov 2007 15:14:30 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-85388 [...] basis. She had a privileged upbringing and although she wasn’t quite as rich and obnoxious as Partner #1, she was upfront about her “other means” as she called it. She was quite thankful it afforded [...]<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-85388">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> [...] basis. She had a privileged upbringing and although she wasn’t quite as rich and obnoxious as Partner #1, she was upfront about her “other means” as she called it. She was quite thankful it afforded [...]

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]]> By: Susie Bright http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-82447 Susie Bright Sat, 17 Nov 2007 16:59:59 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-82447 I agree with your general insight, but my god, your partner #1 was an utter pig. I make more money than my partner, but I would never curtail his travel or eating habits or a million other things! My mouth is hanging open. I think she had "entitlement" issues that went along with her money. If anything, I feel like I have to bend over backwards to not exercise financial leverage. I bet I do, anyway, but it's more subtle, and I need more insight to get at it!<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-82447">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> I agree with your general insight, but my god, your partner #1 was an utter pig. I make more money than my partner, but I would never curtail his travel or eating habits or a million other things! My mouth is hanging open. I think she had “entitlement” issues that went along with her money. If anything, I feel like I have to bend over backwards to not exercise financial leverage. I bet I do, anyway, but it’s more subtle, and I need more insight to get at it!

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]]> By: Queercents » Blog Archive » Sleeping With Money: How Much Should You Invest in a First Date? http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-77985 Queercents » Blog Archive » Sleeping With Money: How Much Should You Invest in a First Date? Thu, 01 Nov 2007 14:28:29 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-77985 [...] that I’m above it… I recall plenty of roadside make out sessions when I first started dating Partner #1 but I was twentysomething and that was classified as frolicsome recreation back then. I haven’t [...]<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-77985">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> [...] that I’m above it… I recall plenty of roadside make out sessions when I first started dating Partner #1 but I was twentysomething and that was classified as frolicsome recreation back then. I haven’t [...]

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]]> By: Queercents » Sleeping With Money: The Scent of Money http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-66165 Queercents » Sleeping With Money: The Scent of Money Thu, 20 Sep 2007 16:38:38 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-66165 [...] Lovers smell too. Did you ever notice that every woman has a distinct scent? Partner #1 smelled slightly sweaty, Partner #2 smelled like perfume. One short lived escapade in between always smelled like lip gloss. Or did I taste lip gloss? Taste and smell easily overlap. Carry on. Let your imagination run with that one because the Sleeping With Money story below is innocent and restrained and not about sleeping with anyone. [...]<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-66165">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> [...] Lovers smell too. Did you ever notice that every woman has a distinct scent? Partner #1 smelled slightly sweaty, Partner #2 smelled like perfume. One short lived escapade in between always smelled like lip gloss. Or did I taste lip gloss? Taste and smell easily overlap. Carry on. Let your imagination run with that one because the Sleeping With Money story below is innocent and restrained and not about sleeping with anyone. [...]

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]]> By: Carnival of Money Stories #17 http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-51398 Carnival of Money Stories #17 Tue, 10 Jul 2007 09:39:30 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-51398 [...] Nina at Queercents talks about how it can be difficult when your partner out-earns you.  Her first partner made thirty times what she did - wow! [...]<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-51398">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> [...] Nina at Queercents talks about how it can be difficult when your partner out-earns you.  Her first partner made thirty times what she did – wow! [...]

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]]> By: A Couple Blogs That I Like | Midlife Beginnings http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-51110 A Couple Blogs That I Like | Midlife Beginnings Mon, 09 Jul 2007 01:50:23 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-51110 [...] I ran across a couple blogs that I like. First, Queercents.com has a ton of good stuff. My partner is from another country and came to the US penniless when he was in his 20s. Today he has a clerical job with a major medical research group. He has great benefits — excellent insurance and 6 weeks vacation — but he doesn’t make great money, and a good 20% of what he does make he sends back to his family. Anyway, I ran into a post >postin Queercents about earning dynamics in relationships that really resonated with me. [...]<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-51110">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> [...] I ran across a couple blogs that I like. First, Queercents.com has a ton of good stuff. My partner is from another country and came to the US penniless when he was in his 20s. Today he has a clerical job with a major medical research group. He has great benefits — excellent insurance and 6 weeks vacation — but he doesn’t make great money, and a good 20% of what he does make he sends back to his family. Anyway, I ran into a post >postin Queercents about earning dynamics in relationships that really resonated with me. [...]

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]]> By: prlinkbiz http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-50992 prlinkbiz Sun, 08 Jul 2007 14:29:44 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-50992 It's definitely an interesting topic and one not discussed much. My blogging partner did a great post about this as well- http://www.nolimitsladies.com/2007/04/when_women_earn_more.html<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-50992">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> It’s definitely an interesting topic and one not discussed much. My blogging partner did a great post about this as well-
http://www.nolimitsladies.com/2007/04/when_women_earn_more.html

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]]> By: Ross http://queercents.com/2007/07/05/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/comment-page-1/#comment-50450 Ross Fri, 06 Jul 2007 05:56:48 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2007/07/06/sleeping-with-money-out-earning-your-partner/#comment-50450 I have a similar dynamic within my relationship. My boyfriend's family is wealthy, and he has a sizable amount of money from them. However for 2 years he has not worked while going to school, and now that he has a job I out-earn him simply because I am older and have more professional experience. I realized when his savings was dwindling and he was living off his income when he was much less aggressive. We had a talk then. I hadn't realized his pushy personality was fueled by money. We established that we were a partnership, and that nobody should have control over the other. The aggressiveness (which I like) returned, and we talked about his spending habits. Money and earnings can definitely affect the dynamics.<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-50450">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> I have a similar dynamic within my relationship. My boyfriend’s family is wealthy, and he has a sizable amount of money from them. However for 2 years he has not worked while going to school, and now that he has a job I out-earn him simply because I am older and have more professional experience.

I realized when his savings was dwindling and he was living off his income when he was much less aggressive. We had a talk then. I hadn’t realized his pushy personality was fueled by money. We established that we were a partnership, and that nobody should have control over the other. The aggressiveness (which I like) returned, and we talked about his spending habits.

Money and earnings can definitely affect the dynamics.

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