Sleeping With Money: Sugar Mama
It’s hard to believe nobody has yet written about the ‘œSugar’ dynamic on our Queercents ‘œSleeping with Money’ column. It’s dirty work, but somebody has to do it. Fortunately, I’m a very dirty girl.
If you follow QC, you may know that I had a stint as a stripper. You may not know that I have also been a professional dominatrix. These items make me predisposed to both knowing about ‘œSugar daddies/mamas’ as a sexual fetish and just plain having more money than my partners and therefore being forced into this position on a more mundane level.
When in the sex work industry, I had more money than I make now focusing on my writing, music and Life Coaching practice. My clients were mostly straight white wealthy men, but my dates in personal life were artistic lesbians and transgendered men: usually poets. Mostly in between real jobs! Because of discriminating tastes and social drive, I became the Sugar Mama. I payed for shows and food and trips if I wanted someone to go with me. My lovers would often in turn fetishize the situation into our own sexual drama so that they were being ‘œrewarded’ by me for good behavior. That was hot- for a few years. Then, it was just expensive.
I’m finally not opposed to the idea of dating an L-Word Helena sometime. I have had enough of a past as a Sugar Mama to tell you I never want to do it again.
I asked a good friend if I was a bad person for enjoying the idea of dating someone who is not afraid to spend money. Am I a sell-out former anti-capitalist. I mean, I write for a financial blog now too? She reminded me that sometimes, and to a certain extent, money does allow for certain freedoms- like the freedom to say yes to more joyful experiences and not have them bogged down by financial worry. Romance is too precious to fight over how much to spend on a first date!
I’ve seen friendships and relationships broken up by too great financial disparity. I used to love to eat out when I was a well off but boring software engineer. When one of my fascinating but impoverished archaeologist/author/artist type friends and I would go out, I just automatically picked up the tab. We stayed friends, while those other WObBSEs in our circle who would neither adjust their habits (by eating in) nor subsidize those who couldn’t afford to keep up gradually left.
When my ex left me for an extremely well off (but less boring) software engineer, she tried to keep up with his non-boring lifestyle – fancy dinners, expensive wines, live theatre, etc. He wouldn’t subsidize her, and when they broke up she was heavily in debt as a result.
So do you think your current date thinks of you the way you think of your ex “sugar babies”?
“Am I a sell-out former anti-capitalist. I mean, I write for a financial blog now too? She reminded me that sometimes, and to a certain extent, money does allow for certain freedoms- like the freedom to say yes to more joyful experiences and not have them bogged down by financial worry.”
I think that an anti-capitalist would say that yes, you are. In regards to economic theory they would say that one should not need to spend money to create joyful experiences and romance.
How do i find a Sugar mama, im a young very attractive ambitious lesbian woman who just wants to be pampered for a change. Im so used to being independant and working hard for everything that i have i just want a break and i dont want to have to sleep my dignity away just to be made to feel like a princess
In look to b loved…..
So I’m with sweetmiss92… where is my sugar momma? lol
I am a female sugar baby looking for a sugar mama… ready for whatever #lesbians
all my life i had to worry about food rent money ,,,i’m very beautiful and i’m looking for a SWEET SUGAR MA’MA ..TROPICAL HEAT…LOL!
I am a sugar baby lookin for sugar mommy lesbians ellenwood ga near me i am a female
What is your email address? I would like to chat with you about this topic. I have some questions as well as some personal responses to many aspects of this topic. If you are interested, don’t feel nervous to email me.
I’m looking for a SugaMomma no strings attached n drama free