Comments on: WWYD: Sponsoring Friends in Charity Events

By: Queercents » Blog Archive » Ask the Readers: How much do you give for the office collection?

Mon, 25 Aug 2008 14:22:25 +0000

[...] back when, I wrote a post about what to do when friends or co-workers ask repeatedly if you’ll sponsor them in their charity walk, ride or run. It shouldn’t seem that hard to wish [...]

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By: Daisy

Daisy — Sat, 15 Sep 2007 16:44:20 +0000

I usually tell people I don't want to donate to that I only donate to certain charities (which is true). I don't think it's offensive; it just means you & your friends want to help others but have different ways of doing so. What really bugs me is when people ask for money for their own company / college parties though. I mean, it doesn't even really help anyone in need.

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By: J dawg

J dawg — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 21:05:04 +0000

I do not get how charities require a certain amount to participate. Charity has changed since I was a kid. Even now even the Salvation Army will only take certain items. I love the candy bars but they only get like 50% of the proceeds. I would rather just give directly to the charity.

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By: Kelly

Kelly — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 17:29:54 +0000

Great article. When my son started daycare, at 8 weeks old, he was sent home with a candy fundraiser within the first month, so they could raise money for the daycare's field trips. This really felt wrong to me - first of all, a 2 month old obviously isn't able to sell on their own, leaving all the responsibility to the parents, and second, a 2 month old isn't going to be going on any field trips - so the benefit of selling would be for the older children. I chose not to participate. Now, my son is almost 3 yrs, and at a different daycare, but still gets sent home with fundraisers, about quarterly. I still don't feel right asking friends/family to buy overpriced crap, but at the same time, I do want to support the daycare esp. now that he is older and participating in the field trips, arts&crafts, etc. So I usually just write a check to the school, for them to put towards whatever they're doing the fundraiser for. That way, I support the school, without buying unnecessary stuff and without slighting friends and family by asking them to buy this stuff.

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By: Margaret

Margaret — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 16:41:44 +0000

I used to be a teacher (now SAHM), and when a class did a fundraiser, there were a few kids who would ask every teacher in the school to support them. Fortunately, I had a practicum teacher who just told the kids that she would only buy/sponsor them if they came to her house. I thought that was great (especially because I live on a farm). That kept the sponsorship requests in her social circle, not her work circle. I had an office job where every time something happened (marriage, baby, staff leaving), a card would get circulated with an envelope. You signed the card and then you could contribute a couple bucks or whatever to the envelope for a gift. It was fairly low pressure. The other two ladies in my office would always just say leave the envelope and we would pass it on to the next person. That way, they could sign in private and decide whether or not to contribute without anyone looking on. On the other hand, the head of our department would come around WITH HIS CHILD selling cookies or chocolates or whatever, merrily saying OH, don't feel pressured to buy anything, as he stood there beaming at his precious child. I have no problem with someone sticking up their information or catalog in the break room so people can see it and choose, and maybe making an announcement that it was available, but I really hated direct solicitation (especially as I was on the bottom of the totem pole, so to speak).

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By: Katie

Katie — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 16:31:57 +0000

So, what about when you just get a mass email? Or website-generated email? Am I still obligated to say "no" directly? Or can I just ignore it? And my biggest problem is that a lot of these charities have very high overhead. Others, I can't find any financial information on their website, charity navigator, etc. When I give, I want to know that my money is going to be used wisely.

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By: Mark Porter

Mark Porter — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 14:23:52 +0000

Seems like this falls in the category of learning how to say "no", politely. There is also the concept of providing support in proportion to the relationship to the person. For instance, in the case of Girl Scout cookies...unless the child approaches me directly, I don't buy 'em. Having parents sell them for their kids seems patently ridiculous to me. As for other sponsorship...I may support someone but for a token amount...or I may tell them to expect a request from me for my favorite charity in the future. Frankly work solititation can be a big problem. Since I'm in manangement, I really don't feel that it is appropriate for me to directly solicit people for support for my causes...I may post a flyer in my office with a sign-up sheet, but that's the extent, I don't want to create any pressure for support. Outside work, anything is fair game, however I do expect quid pro quo; ye that solicit should expect to be solicited! But back to my original point: learning to say "I'm sorry, but I can't help you with that right now" isn't that difficult to say...and can actually be quite liberating in some situations!

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By: Countess Markiewicz

Countess Markiewicz — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:51:11 +0000

For "how do you say no" you're honest. If it's the charity, say that. If it's that your cashflow doesn't allow it at the moment, say that. If it's that you've sponsored a bunch of other people recently, say that. As someone who has done some sponsored runs (although admittedly more for the exercise than the charity), it doesn't bother me in the slightest if people don't sponsor me as long as they're honest. From my point of view as the asker, don't ask don't get. It's the people who say "um, yeah, no problem" and then avoid me for the next week, or who donate and then sulk that bother me. And I've sponsored friends when I wouldn't sponsor coworkers just to be supportive and enthusiastic. That's as valid a reason as liking the charity.

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By: The Simple Dollar » The Simple Dollar Morning Roundup: New Baby Tiredness Edition

Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:33:29 +0000

[...] WWYD: Sponsoring Friends In Charity Events I’d have no problem doing this if I believed in the charity. I usually make a point to talk about charitable giving with my friends at some point early on in the friendship, making it clear that I like to give but I’m picky about what I give to. (@ queer cents) [...]

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By: Paula

Paula — Thu, 13 Sep 2007 13:21:41 +0000

I get hit with this a lot both on the “can you give?” side and also when I ask for donations on the mostly annual event where I do a bike race for charity.

When I ask for donations I don’t really take it personally if people decline or ignore my request. I know everyone only has so much money to go around and if they feel so moved to support this charity at this time (for my event), great. If not, that’s ok too.

I get asked for donations a lot too. Some of my close friends and biking buddies I support each year for their ride. I dont’ mind doing it one bit. They also don’t ask me 6 times a year for something either, though, and it is a charity that I have at least some interest in. My donations can range from $20-$100 depending on my budget, the person, the charity, timing, etc. I do not feel bad declining to donate for others. After all, I can’t sponsor 10 riders in the MS ride just because everyone I know is doing it, right?

At work I have always been pretty selective on where I put money. Years ago when I was first in an office I felt obligated to donate to everything – so and so’s wedding, first baby, girl scout cookies, and on and on. Then I realized, I don’t even know half these people. And, how many people are going to take up a collection when me and my partner make a lasting commitment? (of course I was kinda wrong here as the manager DID give us a card and nice gift certificate which blew me away)

So, this is a GREAT question of the ages, only wish I would’ve written this post myself And as I see it – as with all things, I get to choose where I put my money. Sometimes I say yes, and other times I say no. It isn’t personal…. (unfortunately not everyone ‘gets’ that which is what makes all this so difficult in the first darn place!).

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