Every body feels judged in someway. I think you would be hard pressed to find any reflective, insightful, self-aware individual who did not feel judged in some aspect.

Because they are aware that everyone pre-judges. Perhaps more so because they do it themselves and unlike many are cognitive of it. We see through our experiences making not-judging nearly impossible as virtually everything is an evocation of something else. However, being vigilantly aware of this tendency allows you to aknowledge these knee-jerk and work to see past them.

Often conforming to the stereotypes of a certain a community is done specifically to find identity, usually when one feels marginalized. But people are not one dimensional, like all the stereotypes you mentioned. There are so very many layers to an individual and reasons to embrace a way of appearence, speech or action.

Demanding that your community conforms to your experience of what being GLTB means, “I want to be one of the first I have read to stand up and demand our community be themselves but don’t over-dramatize, overreact or over-exaggerate. Point to the sky but don’t point your judgement finger, lest ye be judged”, not only implies that all of these ways of acting that you, because of your personal experience see as overacting, dramatizing, etc — is unnatural and overdone, and not what being LGBT means is and not an honest reflection of your community— but is “pointing YOUR judgement finger.”

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My girlfriend was treated terribly by fellow lesbians at a West Coast university because she is just not a typical liberal, leftie lesbian. I’ve seen intolerance and ridiculous behavior.

Like a lot of minority communities, much time and effort is wasted on who is “acceptable” and who isn’t. Bisexuals? Trannies? Post-op? Pre-op? Butches? Lesbians who have slept with men, and might do so again? Libertarians? Even, gasp!, Conservatives?

This is a losing battle – one that should not even be joined. We are “stuck” with all sorts of people who we may not normally speak with otherwise, except they are gay or lesbian or bi or trans… Butches and twinks are with us to stay, as are libertarian homos, conservative gay cowboys, and drag queens, along with more permutations than I can imagine.

Marc, from the tone of your commentary and the rather vicious stereotypes you used, I get the impression that you are very focused on speaking your truth and not so much on listening. I’ve found, through painful experience, that one’s truth is never solely an individual experience and that even those who make us uncomfortable have much to teach.

It was brave thing to write. Please feel free to email me if you are so inclined.

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I’ve been friends with a few people with whom I had strong political differences, and sometimes those debates were even an integral part of the friendship. But the people were, first and foremost, friendly and welcoming people.

This article comes across like a judgmental, holier-than-thou diatribe. If I met you at a party and you came across like this, I’d probably avoid you too. It isn’t about the opinions, it’s about how (and when and where) they get communicated.

Did I miss the financial angle here?

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If you hold views different to mine and you don’t act badly, then why on earth should I complain?

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1. Blow off the stereotypes.

Stereotypes exist because they have an element of truth. Everyone knows that stereotypes don’t apply to every member of the given group. If you’re offended by a stereotype, then just don’t be whatever that stereotype is and move on. Other than that there’s not much you can do, and it’s not worth wasting time and energy over it.

2. Judge, and prepare to be judged.

Judging people based on silly things like skin color, sexual orientation, nationality, etc, is bad. But judging people based on their ideas is good. A person’s ideas reflect their values, held conciously or not, and it is vitally important to distinguish between people with good and bad values. Ideas matter. People live and die every day because of good or bad ideas that are held by people in power and enacted in law. Be prepared to defend your ideas, and when you can’t defend them, that’s a sign you may need to change them.

3. Identify yourself by ideology.

Lines drawn by ideology are more important than lines drawn by race or sexual orientation. I’m a capitalist, atheist, libertarian, objectivist first (and not necessarily in that order). These are the things that define me. Race and orientation don’t tell you much about me.

I don’t feel like part of the ‘gay community’ because, well, I’m not. I’m part of the libertarian community. The ‘gay community’ mostly wants to force people to act a certain way, just like the conservative christians do.

4. Real friendships are based on values.

My best friend is straight. He’s also a capitalist, atheist, libertarian, objectivist (and not necessarily in that order). I have plenty of gay friends, but none of those friendships will ever reach the same depth because of the fundamental difference in values. I suggest that when seeking out friends, you look for a similar ideology on some level, or at least someone who believes in personal responsibility or some other principle that’s important to you. You’ll find these friendships much more rewarding than preaching to liberals who aren’t interested in taking a critical look at the ideas they support.

Holy crap that was a long comment.

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