Bliss Doesn’t Come with a Direct Deposit
I am now less than two weeks away from my thirtieth birthday. Thirty is a big, fat, round number. And since I’m coming up on this big fat round number, it’s a good time to figure out where the heck my life is going.
So many things in my life are intentional: my wonderful partner of 8 years, our choice to live in Maine’s largest city, our small-but-perfect apartment with a view of sunrise over the water. I even have good friends I’ve chosen as family. But my career in computer programming was not intentional; it was something I’d fallen into during college because the money was good. And my job in corporate IT for a well-known Maine outdoor retailer/behemoth was uninteresting, had no advancement potential, and was stressful enough that it was affecting my overall quality of life.
I realized I needed to leave when I was chatting at a cocktail party and felt ashamed to tell another guest what I did for a living. I actually felt boring.
So screw that, I decided, I’m going to massage school.
That’s not all I’m doing, of course. I’m of the generation that does everything all at once and calls it fun. I’m still doing some web development as a freelancer to bring in a little money. And I decided to start writing again, which is why I’m here at Queercents. Pleased to be here!
“But massage school? Really?” I keep asking myself. It’s true. I’m done with falling into a job just because the money is good. Yes, I’m still paying off the loans from my fancy Ivy League education. Yes, my cubicle job paid well and the benefits rocked. Yes, I must have been an idiot to leave. But no, I’m not going back.
And so now, I’m crafting my career as intentionally as I have crafted the rest of my life. I can’t spend my life bored with what I do. I’m having a lot more fun now that my time is my own and I have the ability to create something new. I’m following my bliss.
It’s too bad that bliss doesn’t come with a direct deposit.
Before I quit my job, my partner and I were paying off debt at a nice clip. We had almost paid off the credit cards, and we had wrangled our student loans into nice small numbers. But now that I’m in school, I’m once again racking up debt (both credit card and student loan debt) like it was going out of style. I feel awful about it, and guilty, and sometimes depressed.
I have to keep reminding myself that I was on a great debt-free path before, and I can do it again. I’ve just put my plans on hold, is all, while I figure out what’s next.
So that’s what I’m all about. I’m looking forward to writing and reading more here at Queercents, and sharing with you some of my thoughts about being so firmly in the middle of a huge transition.
“Before I quit my job, my partner and I were paying off debt at a nice clip.”
I was working recently at a job that was making me nuts. Now that I’m taking a more freelance approach and whatnot, I feel horribly guilty about abandoning the faster pace at which we were paying off debt. But I’m saner.
Good luck with your choice! Massages are absolutely wonderful. They’ve gone over this kind of thing at career events, but in case they haven’t—some psychological offices like to hire a masseuse. Massages are great for people coping with therapy, working out stress, all that. My massages were all through my MIL’s practice. If there aren’t ones looking in your area, I’m sure it’d be something good to pitch to a few.
Jan: Great first post. I’m sure your “simultaneous” professions will provide a lot of money stories for you to share on Queercents in the coming months.
By the way, Moorea wrote awhile an informative post awhile back that offers interesting parallels about earning income from a variety of sources and how to maintain stability regardless of the flux.
Jan, congrats on your first post at Queercents!
I, too, recently quit my unfulfilling job. However, I’m not quite ready to make the transition to freelance–ironically enough, I’m transitioning into a web development role 🙂
I’ll be following your future posts closely, so keep em coming
Congrats on your first post and the big leap. I am in a similar boat with having been laid off and moving into full time entrepreneur last fall. It is SO different than doing it P-T and I love it. It beats suffering in a cubicle and passing time.
I find it funny and ironic your comments on “outdoor retailer/behemoth ” as when I was in Maine last summer paddling one of the guides was sharing a similar tale. That is why he went 100% solo. Funny how the companies we like who espouse in their marketing and products the very things we love – freedom, outdoors, quality, etc….. can’t seem to reflect that in their workplace environment. That could be a post unto itself. After all having worked at an HRC 100 company in the past,I know that is not how it always looked in the trenches.
Looking forward to reading your posts as you journey along…
Jan, great post! Can’t wait to read more from you!
About 12 years ago, I did the same thing. I gave up the graphic design/writing career I “fell into” and went to massage school. I loved it, and it made sense to NO ONE in my life, but it was something I needed to do for me. Since then, I’ve worked full-time as a bodyworker, but I’ve also felt freer to explore other options, too, always knowing I have my massage therapy in my back pocket. Also, as an added perk, getting all those massages regularly in school was really a health boost!
Best to you!
PS: I think a fun topic would be about what is viewed as a luxury…some view massage and other therapies as luxuries, and these can be the first to go when money gets tight, even though we need them more at that time! Maybe this has already been covered on QC?
Lovely first post!
I’ve always been a big believer that if you aren’t happy with your position in life, changes need to be made. Too many people allow themselves to be in a rut and grow miserable. Your post made me smile.