Comments on: Beyond the Pink and Blue Parenting Blues: How to Resist Confining Gender Norms… and Save Money http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/ We're here, We're queer, and We're not going Shopping without Coupons Wed, 10 Mar 2010 04:23:21 -0700 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 By: Queercents » Blog Archive » Pink and Green Parenting: DIY Shower Gifts http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-112633 Queercents » Blog Archive » Pink and Green Parenting: DIY Shower Gifts Wed, 12 Mar 2008 04:02:52 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-112633 [...] though I love the spirit of the baby shower, I don’t embrace its commercialism (and underlying assumptions about gender, parenthood, and all the rest). So no, I’m not a fan of pink or blue onesies, prefab baby books, [...]<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-112633">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> [...] though I love the spirit of the baby shower, I don’t embrace its commercialism (and underlying assumptions about gender, parenthood, and all the rest). So no, I’m not a fan of pink or blue onesies, prefab baby books, [...]

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]]> By: Paperfoxes Run Run » Fashion: Gender Norms and Babies http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-108619 Paperfoxes Run Run » Fashion: Gender Norms and Babies Mon, 25 Feb 2008 01:00:45 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-108619 [...] stand the disgusting gender division when it comes to children’s clothes and toys. Queercents just made a post voicing the same complaints I have regarding young ‘uns and gender-biased clothing: Babies [...]<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-108619">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> [...] stand the disgusting gender division when it comes to children’s clothes and toys. Queercents just made a post voicing the same complaints I have regarding young ‘uns and gender-biased clothing: Babies [...]

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]]> By: Kalieris http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107833 Kalieris Wed, 20 Feb 2008 22:08:14 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107833 Too bad about the blue - it's my favorite color (and I'm a girl).<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107833">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> Too bad about the blue – it’s my favorite color (and I’m a girl).

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]]> By: K http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107705 K Wed, 20 Feb 2008 12:01:02 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107705 As the daughter of a feminist hippy mom, and born in 1974, I certainly had my fair share of gender neutral outfits, toys and stories (anyone remember the one about Baby X?). But as the mom of two boys and a girl I have to say that I do delight in buying pink stuff! Maybe it's that she's my third... The boys have dolls, doll houses and cooking stuff, and won't ever have anything military ever, but when it came to putting my daughter in some of their outgrown outfits? Well, there were some I handed down to friends instead.<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107705">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> As the daughter of a feminist hippy mom, and born in 1974, I certainly had my fair share of gender neutral outfits, toys and stories (anyone remember the one about Baby X?). But as the mom of two boys and a girl I have to say that I do delight in buying pink stuff! Maybe it’s that she’s my third… The boys have dolls, doll houses and cooking stuff, and won’t ever have anything military ever, but when it came to putting my daughter in some of their outgrown outfits? Well, there were some I handed down to friends instead.

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]]> By: Dana http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107620 Dana Wed, 20 Feb 2008 04:06:03 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107620 I have the same visceral reaction to the gender-typing of kids' clothes. In some ways, however, it's been easier being the mother of a boy, because I've also always found boys' clothes to be sturdier and more comfortable to wear myself, as I <a href="http://www.mombian.com/2007/08/08/clothes-make-the-mom/" rel="nofollow">discussed</a> a while back. Not that I won't support my son as he develops his own style, but it was a pretty easy to choose his toddler gear because it matched my own style as well (not to mention the interests my partner and I share--sports, space, engineering). We did stay away from anything that reeked of hypermasculinity, though (e.g., t-shirts with monster trucks).<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107620">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> I have the same visceral reaction to the gender-typing of kids’ clothes. In some ways, however, it’s been easier being the mother of a boy, because I’ve also always found boys’ clothes to be sturdier and more comfortable to wear myself, as I discussed a while back. Not that I won’t support my son as he develops his own style, but it was a pretty easy to choose his toddler gear because it matched my own style as well (not to mention the interests my partner and I share–sports, space, engineering). We did stay away from anything that reeked of hypermasculinity, though (e.g., t-shirts with monster trucks).

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]]> By: A.J. http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107557 A.J. Tue, 19 Feb 2008 23:45:18 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107557 If you *really* want to make a statement, why not cross-dress your baby?<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107557">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> If you *really* want to make a statement, why not cross-dress your baby?

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]]> By: Mrs. Micah http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107487 Mrs. Micah Tue, 19 Feb 2008 19:01:11 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107487 Boy parakeets have blue noses and girl parakeets have pink ones (one of those handy facts from having too many pets). That's the only explanation I can think of for associating those colors with gender. When pregnant, I'm going to ask for gender neutral clothes---if nothing else because they make more sense. They'd work for my baby regardless of sex and they'd work for any future babies as well. Or I could give them to friends with any babies. I'll remember that about boys clothes. As they get older, I'll try to feel out what makes them happiest like my mom did. My butchish little sister always wore dress slacks and such on fancy occasions. I wore dresses. We were both happy. I think my parents did a really good job with that.<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107487">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> Boy parakeets have blue noses and girl parakeets have pink ones (one of those handy facts from having too many pets). That’s the only explanation I can think of for associating those colors with gender.

When pregnant, I’m going to ask for gender neutral clothes—if nothing else because they make more sense. They’d work for my baby regardless of sex and they’d work for any future babies as well. Or I could give them to friends with any babies.

I’ll remember that about boys clothes.

As they get older, I’ll try to feel out what makes them happiest like my mom did. My butchish little sister always wore dress slacks and such on fancy occasions. I wore dresses. We were both happy. I think my parents did a really good job with that.

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]]> By: Chris http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107468 Chris Tue, 19 Feb 2008 18:30:44 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107468 What a great commentary. I wish more people would think like that. I just finished making a sweater I was going to give as a shower gift, that I think would be good for a baby (either gender) but I know the parents and know that if their child is a boy, he wouldnt ever get to wear it. Its a wonderful mix of very bright colors (no pastels) but one of those colors happens to be pink. I say so what, but I know these people, they would sooner 'die' than put a boy in pink. Grr. Dresses on babies can only 'work' before they start to crawl, after that, they get in the way and dont protect knees. But be ready, no matter how you dress her now, your daughter might want to be a girly girl who wears only pink.<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107468">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> What a great commentary. I wish more people would think like that. I just finished making a sweater I was going to give as a shower gift, that I think would be good for a baby (either gender) but I know the parents and know that if their child is a boy, he wouldnt ever get to wear it. Its a wonderful mix of very bright colors (no pastels) but one of those colors happens to be pink. I say so what, but I know these people, they would sooner ‘die’ than put a boy in pink. Grr.
Dresses on babies can only ‘work’ before they start to crawl, after that, they get in the way and dont protect knees. But be ready, no matter how you dress her now, your daughter might want to be a girly girl who wears only pink.

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]]> By: DivaJean http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107430 DivaJean Tue, 19 Feb 2008 15:48:51 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107430 I think the trying not to conform to gender was ultimately more expensive for us as a family- but this was mainly because of my eldest daughter's strong feminine identity. Let me explain-- We too started out with the idea that we would not push our ideas of gender and the whole pink/blue on our kids. I spent many hours painting my eldest's bedroom when she was a baby- the colors were red, blue and yellow stripes on white with white wainscoting. Lovely- bright, basic and almost circuslike. By the time my daughter was 3, she was screaming out for pink and wanting the girly girl, Disney princess stuff. As much as we want to think we can be above it, our kids live in a world influenced by other forces. We geave her the choices- she went for the pink. All my work, all our purchases trying to avoid the princess pink was for naught. Her drive for tiaras and fitting in with the girly crowd was stronger than our desire to fight gender non conformity. At some point it really does bacome about the child and not the parent. My eldest son on the other hand has thrived in our non conformist household. He loves motion activity- karate was okay- but it wasn't dancing. We finish the year of karate next month- then he will be starting dance classes as he wants in the fall. He is all about dance. He has made up countless ballet moves to the Harry Potter soundtracks-- he is the Billy Elliot of his kindergarten class. He has also been known to dress in drag princess. Yet, somehow, I think the influence of his older sister has more to do with his donning the princess costumes than his true desire. (In other words- playing with her meant playing princess- so he pretty much HAD to wear a cinderella wig and dress once in a while). As a wee lad, he enjoyed coming in and getting some makeup applied as I got ready for work. Is it because of me being such a femme or his true calling? WHo knows- but we let him be the one to decide.<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107430">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> I think the trying not to conform to gender was ultimately more expensive for us as a family- but this was mainly because of my eldest daughter’s strong feminine identity. Let me explain–

We too started out with the idea that we would not push our ideas of gender and the whole pink/blue on our kids. I spent many hours painting my eldest’s bedroom when she was a baby- the colors were red, blue and yellow stripes on white with white wainscoting. Lovely- bright, basic and almost circuslike. By the time my daughter was 3, she was screaming out for pink and wanting the girly girl, Disney princess stuff. As much as we want to think we can be above it, our kids live in a world influenced by other forces. We geave her the choices- she went for the pink. All my work, all our purchases trying to avoid the princess pink was for naught. Her drive for tiaras and fitting in with the girly crowd was stronger than our desire to fight gender non conformity. At some point it really does bacome about the child and not the parent.

My eldest son on the other hand has thrived in our non conformist household. He loves motion activity- karate was okay- but it wasn’t dancing. We finish the year of karate next month- then he will be starting dance classes as he wants in the fall. He is all about dance. He has made up countless ballet moves to the Harry Potter soundtracks– he is the Billy Elliot of his kindergarten class. He has also been known to dress in drag princess. Yet, somehow, I think the influence of his older sister has more to do with his donning the princess costumes than his true desire. (In other words- playing with her meant playing princess- so he pretty much HAD to wear a cinderella wig and dress once in a while). As a wee lad, he enjoyed coming in and getting some makeup applied as I got ready for work. Is it because of me being such a femme or his true calling? WHo knows- but we let him be the one to decide.

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]]> By: Nina http://queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/comment-page-1/#comment-107414 Nina Tue, 19 Feb 2008 14:35:21 +0000 http://www.queercents.com/2008/02/19/beyond-the-pink-and-blue-parenting-blues-how-to-resist-confining-gender-norms%e2%80%a6-and-save-money/#comment-107414 Jennifer: This is interesting and you did a good job with the tie in to the finance topic. I agree with you about the implication of pink and blue, but I plan to utilize hand me downs and with seven nieces I'm likely to get a lot of pink in the care packages. Now if we get a boy... well, that will make for some interesting conversation. I suspect my family will be heading to the boy side of Baby Gap instead of passing along their pink onesies.<p class="top-comments">Current score: <span class="top-comments-karma" id="karma-107414">0</span> <small>(to vote for this comment, please visit the site)</small></p> Jennifer: This is interesting and you did a good job with the tie in to the finance topic. I agree with you about the implication of pink and blue, but I plan to utilize hand me downs and with seven nieces I’m likely to get a lot of pink in the care packages.

Now if we get a boy… well, that will make for some interesting conversation. I suspect my family will be heading to the boy side of Baby Gap instead of passing along their pink onesies.

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