Suzanne WestenhoeferComedian Suzanne Westenhoefer claims there are financial benefits to being a bottom… a timely topic since her comedy special and documentary, “A Bottom on Top,” will soon be available on DVD. Of course, you can pre-order now! Suzanne made me say that… after all, even comedians need to make a buck. Read on as she talks moolah… there’s a money back guarantee you’ll be smirking by the end of this interview.

1. Is there truth to the saying, “Do what you love and the money will follow?”
There is no truth to the do what you love money will follow myth. I have made money doing things I hate and I never get paid for doing what I really love. Laundry. I think it should be “Do what everyone says you are good at and expect limited funds.” or even “Do what you love and probably get a rash.”

2. Are there cash prizes for the Suzanne Westenhoefer trivia contest?
There are no prizes for the Trivia Contest. Knowing you know me should be enough. This is designed with today’s estalker in mind.

3. What is your worst habit around finances?
I spend on lap dances for others. This is not a joke. I have to stop…

4. Are there economic advantages to being a bottom?
Being a bottom means never having to ask where the checkbook is… you are usually lying on it…

5. What was your big financial break in comedy?
I won $25 the first time I did stand up.

6. What was the most miserable “service” job you ever did to subsidize your income?
I love all service jobs. I am a co-dependant, pleaser, bottom… I could not, however, do anything that was messy. Like gutting fish… first thing that came to mind…

7. What’s the best money lesson learned from a romantic encounter?
Never share.

8. Are you secretly running an eBay business? If not, then what’s the deal with the Fiesta ware collection?
The Fiesta ware collection proves I am really a homosexual male. Once in awhile I consider selling it… then I weep, brush of my skirt and cry out “NO ONE CAN TAKE AWAY MY DISHES!!”

9. Is The Dinah weekend worth the buck?
The Dinah Shore weekend is totally worth the money IF you get laid, meet a partner or get to see me. Some of you will be able to do all three and actually be OWED money at the end of the weekend.

10. I read that you have twelve tattoos. Any idea what it would cost you to get those removed?
I now have 14 tattoos. If I just cut off my left arm I would be down to six… so that’s the way I would go. I am big on savings and coupons… anyway you can get something a little bit cheaper…

More about Suzanne Westenhoefer
Fearless, bold, unapologetic, and “freaking hilarious” best describes Comedian Suzanne Westenhoefer. She’s made a career out of telling the truth. And, the truth is, life is funny and no one is off limits. From her mom’s Last Will and Testament to her dog’s embarrassing discovery, Suzanne shares stories that leave audiences in stitches.

Her comedy special and documentary, “A Bottom on Top,” aired on LOGO Television in fall 2007 will be available on DVD on March 18th, 2008. Order it on Amazon.com.

Read other Queercents interviews in the Ten Money Questions archive.