Cosmetic surgeonI scoured my Google Reader in search of less apocalyptic topics to discuss, but wow… methinks financial press editors are getting one helluva a high from reporting nonstop gloom and doom — time to lay off the pipe fellas!

Thankfully there’s always absurd news to distract us, and this “U.S. News and World Report” article (via MSN) hails the benefits cosmetic surgery will have on your career. In case you think the claim is bogus, here’s what some surgeons have to say about an emerging trend:

“In the corporate world, there’s a lot of emphasis on image, and image goes with self-confidence,” says Antonio Armani, a Beverly Hills, Calif., cosmetic surgeon who specializes in hair transplants. “I think a lot of people do invest money in improving their looks because they feel this is one way they can go up the corporate ladder.”

The American Academy of Facial Plastic and Reconstructive Surgery reports that, among last year’s most prominent trends, about two-thirds of its members reported seeing men and women who requested cosmetic surgery because they wanted to remain competitive in the workplace.

And the article cites studies that report a disturbing truth most of us had confirmed in Psychology 101 classes — that the world loves beautiful people:

Cuter newborns in a nursery are touched, held and talked to more than less-attractive babies. Elementary school teachers unknowingly tend to hold higher expectations for better-looking children. Parents may be less protective of less-attractive children.

Then, when people reach working age, good-looking college graduates are more likely to get hired. Employees themselves tend to be willing to do more for better-looking bosses. Attractive supervisors are perceived as more credible and more persuasive.

The article goes on to discuss steps to improve your appearance, how some people finance their procedures, and which are the most common. Oh, and there’s this little blurb about how favoring attractive people can be discriminatory.

I decided to bold that last part because favoring attractive people in the workplace is completely discriminatory!

If someone wants cosmetic surgery to feel better about his or her appearance, go for it! But to do it so that you can be competitive at work is a heaping plate of BS. The workplace is not a fashion show or a beauty contest. It’s a place where there’s an HR department to enforce non-discriminatory policies and procedures, and where performance of each individual employee matters most.

Most of us know that beautiful people can get away with lots of things. But by giving the most attractive people in the office more opportunities for advancement or more leeway when they screw up, you’re creating a dysfunctional company. It’s like recreating the cool/uncool-kid dynamics of high school all over again.

I don’t care if my co-worker is snaggle-toothed and wrinkly, or if they’re flawless and pretty. All I care is that they are competent, friendly, and that they don’t smell bad.

I’m all for making yourself look presentable and professional. But if I ever get passed over for a promotion because Tom, Dick and Sally all got Botox before their annual review, I’ll raise hell. [Yes, I know Botox isn’t cosmetic surgery. But close enough…]

What’s your take?