The Secret to Money: Gratitude and Thankfulness
‘œHappiness is self-contentedness.’ ‘“ Aristotle
Recently, I’ve been jazzed about The Secret. I suspect a lot of you are saying, ‘œOh, jeez!’ But hear me out. I haven’t read the book or seen the movie but I downloaded the audio version from iTunes about a month ago and it has made my morning run more enjoyable. I’m training for a half marathon in October, so it feels like I’m running a lot these days and the ideas that make up The Secret have been motivating me along the way. Some people are spurred on by music. As Elizabeth noted in her roundup below, I gravitate to podcasts and audiobooks on iTunes U.
The Secret isn’t really a secret. It’s an anecdotal book blending self-help, pop psychology and motivational theory. The secret is ‘œThe Law of Attraction’ and the author and her ‘œexperts’ believe that what we think creates what we feel. If our feelings are positive, then positive energy and experiences flow back to us. Like attracts like. We are our thoughts.
There certainly are plenty of skeptics. At the other extreme, there are die-hard devotees. I’m somewhere in the middle. I regard the principles metaphorically, not literally’¦ much in the same way that I’d choose to appreciate the Bible or other sacred texts. Does it really matter if it’s nothing more than pseudo-scientific twaddle? Can’t I glean a few truths about positive thinking and goal setting and call it a day. For me personally, I find this to be motivating. I find it inspiring. And listening to it makes six miles feel like three. I’m hoping in another month it will make 13 miles feel like 6.
How does this apply to money? The Secret to Money isn’t really any different than Napoleon Hill’s Think & Grow Rich where he explains how riches are the offspring of thought. But is wealth really a mindset as so many people claim?
I believe most things begin with changing your thinking. Lana recently wrote an excellent series at Queercents about building wealth consciousness from within‘¦ it’s worth reading (purchase the eBook here) especially if you struggle with negative thought patterns when it comes to money.
I consider myself a happy and positive person, but I’d probably never use the word grateful to describe me. To be honest, I never really understood the concept of gratitude and thankfulness until I started listening to The Secret. What’s the magic with these concepts? And what’s the difference between the two?
‘œGratefulness is full awareness; thankfulness is thoughtfulness.’
Brother David Steindl-Rast, a Benedictine monk and the person behind Gratefulness.org, explains the difference in this column on Beliefnet:
Do you remember a night when you stood outdoors looking up at the stars, countless in the high, silent dome of the sky, and saw them as if for the first time? What happened?
Eugene O’Neill described his experience this way: ‘œFor a moment I lost myself–actually lost my life. I was set free! I dissolved in the…high dim-starred sky! I belonged, without past or future, within peace and unity and a wild joy, within something greater than my own life…to Life itself! To God, if you want to put it that way.’ [You may have good reasons for not putting it that way, for not using the G-word, but in any case you have caught a glimpse of ‘œsomething greater’ than your limited self.] ‘œFor a second you see–and seeing the secret, are the secret. For a second there is meaning!’
In the second that follows, you may hear your heart calling out, ‘œThank you, thank you!’ ‘“ ‘œto God, if you want to put it that way,’ or to no one in particular. But let us steady our focus on the second of gratefulness before thankfulness. Why do I call that wild joy of belonging ‘œgratefulness?’ Because it is our full appreciation of something altogether undeserved, utterly gratuitous–life, existence, ultimate belonging–and this is the literal meaning of grate-full-ness. In a moment of gratefulness, you do not discriminate. You fully accept the whole of this given universe, as you are fully one with the whole.
In the very next moment, when the fullness of gratitude overflows into thanksgiving, the oneness you were experiencing breaks up. Now you are beginning to think in terms of giver, gift, and receiver. Gratefulness turns into thankfulness. This is a different fullness. A moment ago you were fully aware; now you are thoughtful. Gratefulness is full awareness; thankfulness is thoughtfulness.
I remember as a born-again, Christ-like teenager, I never quite understood the concept of prayer. Prayer would have made a lot more sense if someone had explained it to me in terms of gratitude and thankfulness. In The Secret, Rhonda Byrne writes:
‘œWith all that I have read and all that I have experienced in my own life using The Secret, the power of gratitude stands above everything else. If you do only one thing with the knowledge of The Secret, use gratitude until it becomes your way of life.’
With money, it begins with being content with what we have instead of focusing on what we don’t have. Leo Babauta at ZenHabits writes:
The reason we get into financial trouble, oftentimes, is that we buy more than we can afford. And the root of that buying is buying things we want instead of only things we need, and the root of that is not being content with what we already have.
Finding contentment with the stuff you have and with a simpler life can lead to buying less, to buying things we need instead of want, and to only spending what we can afford. I know this first-hand, as uncontrolled spending led to debt for me, and contentedness led to me getting out of debt.
Gratitude, thankfulness and contentment are the foundation for a rich life and I believe, when coupled with sound financial decisions; we realize wealth. What do you think?
Hi Nina,
Thanks for the review. I’ve personally been turned off from the Secret but haven’t yet read it. I think I’ll take a closer look at it, thanks for your review. I did want to mention another book that you might like called “Are you Ready for Success” by Srikumar Rao. He applies similar success principles but seems more down to earth and with more applicable ways of changing your outlook on life. He shares a lot of his own experiences as well. I was never drawn to the Secret, but I was instantly attracted to Mr. Rao’s book so I picked it up. I LOVED it! … especially since he writes in a way that spoke to me (without the New-Age-speak that turns me off from the Secret). You can find him on Google videos if you’re at all curious. I bought a copy for my fiance and will keep this on my bookshelf for a long time.
The Secret is the latest and by far the worst example of a HIGHLY profitable trend where self-help gurus with fabricated new age titles and little relevant education, credentials or legitimate expertise brainwash us into believing that they know what is best for us, our marriages and our families.
Often their only contribution to society is introducing some exotic sounding, new age philosophy. However, they often cleverly form an incestuous group of like-minded “experts†who cross-promote each other by swearing their success is due to following the beliefs of another member of their “cult!†All the while, they ply the airwaves jockeying for an ever-larger audience by appearing in the national media to garner third-party endorsements.
The Self-Help Movement has become the Self-Destruct Movement by diminishing or destroying our critical thinking skills to choose and evolve on our own. We have given up the freedom to build healthy lives, marriages and families based on our unique history and life experience. Instead many victims, blinded to the value of their own life experiences, are attracted to the latest secret in self-help, in an attempt to find out what they should think, feel and how they should act… this is the definition of a cult.
The solution is a return to our (common) senses! The best way out of this learned “self-helplessness†is to go cold turkey. Stop following ALL self-help gurus now. Begin, instead, to reclaim your natural, God-given ability to think for yourself. The common sense that was once readily available to all of us is still there free of charge and waiting to be applied to just about any challenge we might face in life… all you have to do is use it.
Please, let’s all work together to stop the flock of “sheepeople” who blindly move from one UNPROVEN concept to the next, looking for the answers to life’s challenges that you already possess and that is the OBVIOUS!
Darlene: I agree that you have to look past the New-Age speak with The Secret, but if you can, there are a few gems in it. Thanks for the book recommendation. I’ve link it here so readers can find it. I’ll check it out too.
John Curtis: You are correct that the Self-Help Movement boils down to a business, but what movement doesn’t? Cancer research is a business, trying to find a cure for HIV is a business, weight loss is a business, and yes, even aspects of personal finance is a business… but it doesn’t belittle the fact that it offers some good at the same time. Like with most things, people just need to be smart with what they buy!