Comments on: Moneytalk: How (and Whether) to Talk to Your Kids About Your Financial Problems

By: Jennifer

Jennifer — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 16:33:27 +0000

Emily, it sounds like your parents did a good job of including you in their financial reality without overwhelming you. That's my goal with my family. Kathleen, you make a good point; being too sheltered can be as much of a problem as being given TMI. My parents were the sheltering sorts, and it didn't always serve me later. Nina, it seems like whatever end of the spectrum we come from, TALKING about it is key. My sense is that, as with sexuality stuff, if it's just always part of the conversation, when the difficult issues come up, you'll already have a comfortable framework for discussion, and it won't be so scary to the kids...or the adults. We'll see what my (17-month-old) daughter thinks of all this!

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By: Nina

Nina — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 12:47:05 +0000

Jennifer: Hmmm... this is a tough one. I grew up in a home where I felt the stress of my parent's financial problems and I think it created some weird money issues for me as an adult: bag lady syndrome as well as making me a bit of a money hoarder. That said, my parents really didn't talk about money with me either. I just heard them fighting about money. Money to me has always been about feeling secure. I often wonder if I'd feel differently about it if my family's circumstances had been different growing up. All things to think about as I become a parent...

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By: Kathleen McDade

Kathleen McDade — Thu, 25 Sep 2008 04:19:11 +0000

I think it's better to be open about it (without scaring them, of course). I was sheltered from this sort of thing, and have had a hard time handling financial difficulties as an adult.

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By: Emily

Emily — Wed, 24 Sep 2008 23:44:16 +0000

My parents had several points where their financial situation was worse than they wanted. In some cases, it was truly dire (like when my mom was hospitalized for over a month due to a serious bout of major depression... back in the days before mental health parity laws). In others, it was bad patch of a month or two where the budgeting wasn't working out as they'd planned (like when a new driver totaled my dad's car... while it was parked in the driveway). We always were told if money was tight. And we were told how we could help. We got regular reinforcement that finding a bargain at the grocery store, or finding the clothes we needed at a yard sale was helping the family finances... even when the budget was doing just fine. Because we were praised for being careful with money, and it was a family habit, I never felt particularly scared of financial disaster. My parents did (and still do) keep a substantial emergency fund. And they had a careful budget, right down to how much was supposed to be spent on movie rentals or groceries any given week. So it was pretty rare for even a major catastrophe to leave their finances in a bad patch for more than a year or so.

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