News Bites: Alpha Gays: urban man’s man?
‘œIt’s the Neil Patrick Harris / Portia de Rossi brand of gay.’ ‘“ Laura Gilbert, editor of the pop-culture website lemondrop.com.
Make way for the Alpha Gays! This was the cry of Details magazine in its Rise of the A-Gay:
Moneyed, successful, educated, and comfortable in their own skin, they’re fast becoming the new archetype of cosmopolitan masculinity. The urban man’s man. They don’t own yappy miniature dogs or time-shares in Fort Lauderdale; they own Labradors and four-bedroom summer homes in Sag Harbor. Instead of cruising in gay clubs, they jet to Gstaad or the TED conference, and party at Sundance with Zooey Deschanel. They don’t want to be part of any kind of closeted group or velvet mafia. Their Savile Row suits are impeccable (A-gays tend to go custom rather than buying off the rack), and they furnish their homes with collectible pieces by designers like Claude Lalanne.
They drive to Krav Maga class in Lexus hybrids and read four newspapers a day, including the Wall Street Journal, because they’re bosses and entrepreneurs, not employees. Often athletic, they’re never steroid queens. And they can pull off having much-younger boyfriends without looking creepy. Artists and photographers approach them with new works. Charity committees beg them to cohost their benefits and sit on their boards’”and they have portfolios of philanthropic interests that aren’t just gay- or AIDS-related. Some, like one couple in New York City, a lawyer and a chef, aren’t just avid operagoers, they’re benefactors. Others travel in Wasp circles.
Even those A-gays with kids are able to find the time to perfect themselves, becoming the healthier, more stylish, more popular version of you that might have been. The cultural barriers that once held them back have largely eroded, but instead of waving rainbow flags, they maintain a subtle privacy about their sexuality. Out but not loud, proud but discreet, they transcend gayness in much the same way that Barack Obama is said to have transcended race.
Is this just another way to rehash if gay affluence is fact or fabricated? The rise of the A-gays: Does it mark measurable societal progress and if so, does this matter? And why does money make these men the most prominent amongst gays? Does it have more to do with power… meaning money equals power?
Or perhaps this is just a tired subject that has been discussed ages ago… some gay men have money… big deal! I’m curious what you think and why Details felt the urge to point this out.
Photo credit: stock.xchng.
Gay men spending money on things . . . Snooze! Can we talk about something more interesting (and socially relevant), like how gays make parenting decisions and what gay men are doing (or not doing) to protect themselves from HIV/AIDS?
Amen, Serena. I’m with you. But then again, we should recognize that this is a site based on finance, so the topic of spending does come up here (and I contribute to that chatter in “The Joys and Perils of a Luxe Life” on this site). What I really have a problem with—and what I am always riled at Details for—are their incredibly specific stereotypes. I mean, really, a specific auto make and model? One. Puh-lease! Again and again, Details digresses into homophobic pieces thinly disguised as humorous anthropological studies from the viewpoint of a bemused heterosexual. I think they’re trying to appeal to their readers. Yeah, right. All the heterosexual men that read Details. Uh huh, all six of them. Oops. I’m stereotyping.
Another classically offensive piece was their April 2004 “Gay or Asian,” which prompted me to write a very rare (for me) letter of complaint and to cancel my subscription (for a while). But I digress.
Actually, I believe the whole term of “A” gays really has more to do with social connections and being invited to the “right” parties than demographic spending habits. I’ve encountered many self-proclaimed “A”s (because I don’t think anyone else designates them as such) that scrape by from pay check to pay check, living way beyond their means in an attempt to impress some imagined audience. Other “A”s are usually fall into the general classification of “celebrities.” Hey, the nice thing about getting older (and hopefully wiser) is that one realizes there never really was an audience. No one is really as interested in you and what you do as . . . well . . you . . .
Serena: I agree with you which is why I wonder why the media continues to write about rich gay men.
Mike: You make an interesting point about A-gays really just being our celebrities. And of course with celebrities, there is that perception of rich and famous which we all know is not the case. Interesting side note about the Gay or Asian feature. I had to Googled it to see what the fuss was about and jeez, can you believe Details would be that blatantly offensive?
By the way, I still think you and your Luxe Life are the closest thing to an A-gay on Queercents! But of course, I’m stereotyping…