Clint Osterholz is a comedian and young gay urban nomad who has lived in a number of cities in North America. He knows a thing or two (actually count them; three tips!) about how to move on a budget. He’ll be back again next month to share a few more ideas. These are his words’¦

So you’ve just graduated from college at Podunk U. You started your school’s Gay/Straight Alliance. You’ve been to the Cowpoke, the Rustler, and all the other gay bars in town, but the wedge of land you’ve called home for x number of years has been trod by your dancing feet one too many times. You’ve decided to get the heck out of Dodge and live the fabulous urban gay lifestyle, but you’ve never been that far from home. Or maybe you have, but it went badly and you ended up having to shack up with good ol’ Ma again. Or maybe you’re a little older, a little wiser, and a little better off, but you’re sick of your surroundings. Would you like to make a big move without destroying your wallet? Here are some hints:

Tip #1: Get Spartan
Chances are that whether you’ve lived in a dorm or an apartment, you have accumulated some clutter, either serious or modest. Do not waste your hard-earned tip money trying to schlep useless stuff across our fruited plains. Clothes and books, for example, are surprisingly heavy. Not only are you going to break your back loading up the U-Haul with old issues of Entertainment Weekly and wool socks you haven’t worn in five years, but you’re taking up precious space in the moving van. Get a friend to help you objectively pick through your stuff. If you don’t have a friend to spare, there’s a pretty simple rule: if you haven’t used it in a year, you probably aren’t ever going to again.

Super tip: You can save a great deal of space, weight, and headache by consolidating your CD and DVD collection by throwing away all of those useless cases. They take up tons of space and they can weigh quite a bit. If you’re moving cross-country, ditch those plastic and cardboard containers and invest in a CD/DVD book that can hold hundreds in one convenient binder.

Tip #2: Tighten the Belt
At least six months before moving, you will want to start budgeting more heavily. Even the cheapest moves can have incidental and unintended costs so maintaining your liquidity is key. Skip $10 Sink or Swim at the Rustler once a month and forgo your semi-annual shopping spree just to save up that much more for your new home. Consider this delayed wish fulfillment, and if it gets tough, picture all the drinking and shopping you can do in your future urban stomping grounds.

Super tip: Turn saving for your move into a game. Try to find a way to save a modest amount (say $5) per day. If you saved yourself $5 per day for six months, that’s roughly $900!

Tip #3: Keep an Open Mind
Romantically, we all have roughly the same view of how a move goes: shoving one’s possessions into boxes, loading up the van, embarking across the cornfields to some metropolis, and pulling up to a brand-new brownstone to unload in a fabulous gayborhood. Realistically, this is pricy and time-consuming. Instead, why not mail your worldly possessions to yourself at your new address? If you donate your kitchen contents sans pots and pans to a local homeless shelter and craigslist all your furniture, you could pack up your entire apartment in just a few boxes. This can be cheaper than renting a moving van, but only you know your space and your place. Crunch the numbers yourself, but don’t be surprised if it turns out that UPS is far less expensive than U-Haul.

Super tip: If UPS is still a bit out of your range, try renting a van from a car rental place instead of a moving van company. Rental cars can often be quite reasonable, and cargo vans can be quite spacious if you have a few pieces of furniture you absolutely refuse to part with. Just remember to have a moving buddy who can take the van back!

By this point, hopefully, you have an idea of how to pull up stakes and get out of your one-horse town. Moving can be quite a challenge, and hemorrhaging money seems to be the name of the game. In my next article, I will discuss some more cost cutting measures and even discuss how to move to a new city without a job or an apartment frugally and intelligently. Good luck and happy moving!

More about Clint Osterholz
Clint Osterholz is a comedian/young gay urban nomad (or a y-gunner for short) who has lived in Knoxville, Albuquerque, Boston, and New York City. His mom is an accountant, which makes him half-accountant and thereby somewhat good with money, budgeting, and finances. He lives currently in New York City with The New Shorter Oxford English Dictionary.