Let’s say that you befriend the most generous, supportive and encouraging person who has ever lived, past, present or future. Sounds like it would be a very promising friendship. But it also would be foolish to expect anything more than just that.

In this past year, I learned that there is no one who can change your life for you. If you are looking for someone to save you from troubling times, someone to give a big chance or opportunity, someone who makes you believe in yourself, you are setting yourself up for a life of heartbreak, resentment and bitterness.

Many wiser people have said this before, but I’ll echo it here: It’s all up to you to change your life, whether you like it or not.

I have survived an exhausting 2008, certainly with the help of an amazing partner and close friendships which in whole, add up to the ideal support network as I described above.

However, there are a few other things I know about my support network:

I probably wouldn’t have had the courage to go back to school and gain the skills I need for a rewarding career transition if it weren’t for the knowledge that I had wonderful people to stand by me.

I certainly wouldn’t have performed as well in school if it weren’t for my partner and friends who let me bounce ideas off them, critiqued my work and inspired me to make them laugh or think.

I think I would have been pretty lost without the simple pleasure of having people to tell, Hey look what I made.

But there was no one who could have done the work for me. There was no one who could have gone inside my head and asked all the questions I needed to ask for myself about what I want from life, what can I give to people, what will truly make me happy.

And even if I did receive all the hand-holding in the world — having someone tell me what I want, do all the speaking up for me, reaching out for me, literally dropping me on the doorstep of opportunity and negotiating a better life for me — it would have been an empty, shallow victory.

Taking any first step can be frightening, even if it’s to escape a bad situation. Sometimes we’d rather stick with what we know than deal with the possible failure or humiliation of confronting what we don’t know.

I had never been one of those people who can shrug off disappointment or rejection, so I often stuck with the safe route just to keep my sanity.

Then I got sick of how profoundly boring all of that was.

About this time last year I came out to myself, of sorts, as a creative person (12/18/07 post). I made a vow that I will make something of my creativity, and that I will do whatever it takes to engage in a satisfying career.

After much research into what career transition would be best for me (see The Bliss Chronicles series), I took the plunge and committed myself to finishing a certificate in web production.

Talk about awkward timing…

There were many times this year I was frightened out of my skull and wasn’t sure why the hell I went back to school when I could have just been collecting a paycheck during a much publicized economic crisis.

But then I would think about how hopeless I used to be about my future, how much talent I was letting die without even making an effort to throw it a lifeline. I would think about the promise I made to myself, and about how much I really wanted to be proud of myself and the work I do; how unfair it would be to have worked harder for things I never cared about and then give up on something deeply meaningful to me. And I would think about all the people in my life who were rooting so hard for me. And I kept going.

I wish I could tell you that I have my dream job lined up and that I’m raking in cash, but that hasn’t happened yet. However, I did finish my certificate with a 4.0 GPA, and I even managed to scrape together a portfolio of work. Even though it’s not the most professional-looking thing around, it’s at least something presentable, and something I can improve. It’s something I never imagined I would have possessed unless I took those terrifying first steps that really, weren’t that bad after all.

I started off 2008 with an intention to get myself in the right direction, and I finished the year off with that accomplishment under my belt, despite all the craziness with the economy.

I’m immensely thankful for all the people who helped me get through a difficult year. But I also need to give myself credit for not giving up when there was so much noise around about despair, difficulty and recession.

I don’t exactly have a recipe for success, or strategies that will help you get through the next year. My approach to life in 2008 was rather messy and somewhat obsessive, and what worked for me wouldn’t necessarily work for you.

I can just offer the lesson of my own experience about the year I learned to believe in my own ability. It’s these few things: There was hardly a moment I felt complacent; hardly ever a moment I truly felt comfortable or relaxed; and though very few things in this new territory seemed familiar, they all started to feel very right, like the pieces of a puzzle I had been missing.

Whatever it is that you truly want in 2009, it can’t hurt to make a plan. The plan can be as small as reading a book on the subject of that thing you really desire. Once you have more information, keep making more plans and take action. It’s up to you, and what you want. And only you can make that happen.

I wish you all a happy and prosperous New Year. And I hope to see you around more often next year now that I’m not as swamped with school.

Best and warmest wishes for 2009!