We don’t live in a patriarchal society, we live in an aggressive, sometimes violent, individualistic society, still too much based on ’survival of the fittest’. I don’t know where the balance is – some need to ’survive’ does make us stronger…

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Sad, isn’t it, that one can’t even trust a spouse? I hate to sound like a conservative, but what has become of our values?

Or when the crime happens SO close to home is something more complex going on?…

For example, in the case of Kathy Griffin’s husband, I’d love to know more about the ‘power dynamics’ in that relationship, particularly when it came to how they handled finances. Did they marry before Kathy became famous? Did hubby make his own income or was he ‘financially’ dependent on Kathy? Was she seen by him as ‘controlling’ of that income and, did she use that control over him in the relationship? Hmmm….not that I am saying stealing is ever right, but, sometimes we have to look beneath the surface to get the whole story…

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I really didn’t think that you were intentionally trying to come off as sexist, but I did want to point out how the comments were perceived.

Maybe it is an age thing. I’m guessing most of the people on your bus are probably living on their own for the first time, or that they really haven’t had much experience in the “real world.” Hopefully they will grow out of handing their wallets over to someone else.

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Serena: I’m sorry you may have thought the post sexist or patronizing…it certainly wasn’t meant to be.

I hardly think all women are naively trusting…I was just commenting on observed behavior and wondering if it had any correlation to women’s higher incidence of being subject to identity theft.

In my experience women as a whole tend to be more trusting than men.

I certainly wasn’t thinking about Where the behavior originates…and as you state it probably is a learned one not biological…I don’t know.

The panty line joke probably was in poor taste I’ll admit but aside from the joke the underlying behavior still stands…they won’t put anything in their pockets, front or back, because it looks bad. It sounds shallow but even the smartest of the women I’ve talked to on the bus often act in the same manner. But is it any reason to let someone else carry your identity (wallet/purse) around for you???

The thing with the men seems to be being very picky about the hair and on the nights they all tend to go out to party some of them don’t carry their wallets either…they stick their ID and some cash/credit card in a front pocket. But most of them still carry the wallet and stick it in a rear pocket anyway..they don’t pass it to thier bud with the baggy jeans to hold for them. They’re not concerned with how a wallet makes the backside look.

And again is all this peculiar to the age group (18-25)?? To Gen Y in particular?? Do they “grow out of it”??

Wallet as phallic symbol??? Don’t remember ever hearing that…gives me something to go do some research on but the premise certainly sounds valid.

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A) Women are not all naively trusting, as you imply. Gender is a learned behavior, not an innate quality. Yes, trust, cooperation, compassion, and relationship-building have traditionally been considered “feminine” values, and women are typically socialized to embody these traits. But there is nothing inherent to women’s biological nature that causes them to be trusting.

B) While it may be true that women in the 18-25 age set seem to be concerned with their appearance, the same can be said about men in that age group. I know you were trying to make a joke with the reference to panty lines, but that joke was in really poor taste. You seem to imply that women have nothing between their ears except for shallow thoughts about their looks. They’re so shallow, in fact, that they don’t even pay attention to their wallets (which happen to be a phallic symbol if you buy into the mythology that the man is the breadwinner and woman only need jobs because they want more “hat money” to spend on frivolous things like new clothes).

The fact is, women are more likely than men to be the victims of crime, period. We live in a patriarchal culture that devalues women. Women are victimized on a daily basis and we are unfortunately raised to believe that we will inevitably be the victim of rape, incest, or domestic violence. What’s a little identity theft when 1 in 2 women is the victim of sexual violence?

Like I said, I don’t think you meant to come off as sexist. I do think you have a legit question. I just think the way that it was phrased came off in a pretty patronizing tone.

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Other than that, I don’t let others touch my wallet or go near my money. Just paranoia I guess

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It makes sense that a high percentage of identity theft is committed by someone the victim knows. Anyone remember what Kathy Griffin revealed when she got divorced:

“My ex-husband, without my knowledge, was sneaking into my wallet when I was asleep in the mornings and taking my ATM cards of my own private accounts and withdrawing money,” she said. The money totaled $72,000 and the stealing happened systematically over an eighteen month period.

I carry my own purse… although Jeanine and I have both been known to abandon our purses and toss our wallets in the diaper bag lately. How many bags can one carry with a 16 lb baby in tow?

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