Price of Going Home: How much will you spend to visit family?
We just returned home from visiting my family in Ohio over the long holiday weekend. I moved away seventeen years ago and have always spent the money to go back at least once a year. For the last seven, I’ve held a job where I earn a lot of frequent flier miles, so we typically get a break on the airfare. Although even with this perk, I’ve estimated spending a total of $10,000 trying to stay close to my family with these annual visits.
The other expense is for lodging. When Jeanine first came home with me, nobody would let us stay unless we agreed to sleep in separate bedrooms. So years ago, I found a quaint B&B in the center of town and that’s where we’ve always stayed. These days, my family has lightened up a bit about our ‘œlifestyle’ but the B&B actually makes a long weekend with my family seem less long for us. And while the place is pretty affordable ($300 for three nights); it’s still adds to the cost of doing family business.
Now that we have Sam, the expense will increase. He’s seven months old, so this trip he flew on our laps for free. But at two, he will require his own seat. That’s a big jump’¦ going from needing two to eventually needing three airline tickets. And someday, it will probably go from three to four. Sam likely will need a baby sister or brother.
Before Sam, Jeanine and I used to just take a taxi to the airport ($30 roundtrip with tip), but this time, we had his stroller, car seat and pack-n-play ‘“ forcing us to drive and pay for parking ($80). It all starts to add up.
If this was a vacation, we wouldn’t think twice about the expense. But these trips feel more like an obligation and over time, could become quite expensive. That said, I like seeing my family and think it’s important that Sam knows his grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins’¦ but at what point do you start to consider the economics?
Before we left, my mom asked when we were coming home again. It was her seemingly unassertive way of finding out if we would be home for Thanksgiving or Christmas. Um, no, that’s why came on Fourth of July. Then feeling badly about my answer, I said we should check in to flights for my parents to come see us the week after Christmas. Free today with flier miles, but it means I’ll have 80,000 fewer points for our vacation next year.
Ahhh, the cost of being close to family. If you live away from yours, what’s been your experience with spending money to get home for visits?
Photo credit: stock.xchng.
This has been an ongoing challenge for us. My family lives 5 hours away from us and my wife’s 8 hours. In the winter, the trip to my family is weather dependent, and we pretty much rule out a trip by car to my in-laws between October and April – it’s way to risky.
Essentially, we’re left with flying to my in-laws and it’s just not economically possible. A round-trip to my in-laws would cost just under $4,000. The same trip by car around $250 in gas. We have yet to fly.
We’ve kind of come to an understanding that we visit once a year in the spring/summer, and they will visit us once a year. Christmas, however, is a real sore spot and I the only way I’ve been somewhat able to quell holiday travel is that we don’t have enough vacation time to warrant a trip.
We go home fairly often – both families are pretty close-knit, and we like to see them when we can. As a matter of fact, I’m traveling soon to visit a cousin across the country. It is an expense – a significant one, given that we’re both students and live very frugally most of the time. It’s a priority for us, though, so we go.
We usually drive if both of us are going – home is 7-8 hours away, and the cost of gas for our car is about the same as a plane ticket (but not two plane tickets!) If one of us is going on our own, we fly – it’s safer than making such a long drive as the only driver, as well as no more expensive.
We have been going home for Christmas together, and making a couple of incidental trips by ourselves through the year, as well as an occasional “together” trip, for funerals, weddings, etc. We actually haven’t taken a long vacation together (besides weekend trips in-state) since we got married a year ago! I guess how you manage traveling for visits depends a lot on whether you enjoy visiting family, or if it’s an obligation because it’s important they stay in your life.
Holly: I hear ya about Christmas being a sore spot. Even when we visit at another time of the year, there’s still this expectation that we should make it home again. It’s pressure… both emotionally and financially.
Laura: Getting back once a year is important to us, but it doesn’t have the same feel of a real vacation. We’re fine taking a long weekend to visit family, but it’s unlikely that we’ll ever spend a week of our vacation in Ohio. They’re all welcome to visit… but they don’t want to spend their vacation or money visiting us either… they’ve all been here before.