I’m a really emotional spender.

No. Really. Look (click to enlarge if you can’t):

Guess who’s been a little depressed? And now guess who’s shorted himself nearly $800 this month in just funny money? That’s right. This guy. The blogger with two thumbs, pointing at himself forlornly. It’s sad, really, to be a financial blogger in debt. But you know what? This is how I learn, and what I learn I can teach. And in the past few days, I’ve learned one very valuable lesson.

Denial is expensive.

I should probably come clean and admit that this month’s expenditures haven’t all been on the up and up. Yes, there’s the dining out and so forth, but I also have recently had to face a very harsh reality in my life. In the past year, I have spent over $1,000 on porn alone. What could I have done with that $1,000? A ton of shit. For one, I could have an emergency fund that I currently lack. Or, well, do you see those credit cards I haven’t paid off? I could be paying them off right now. They’d be $1,000 lighter because I didn’t throw money down the internet’s multiple tubes on watching one man have sex with another man. I can’t believe my spending even got this out of control. I don’t even think that I consume more porn than other people do! I spend no more than a few minutes a day–if that–and certainly no more than an hour or two per week.

But you know, that’s still expensive. And that’s ultimately cost me. This series is meant to be soul-baring, and this certainly is no exception. Please wish me luck in living a new debt-free life.

This is humiliating. I hope you all realize that I’m not making any of this up, and certainly not for attention. If you’re currently struggling with anything like this, please let me know. I could sure use some help without being preached to. Tune in next time where I’ll hopefully have better news to share. That’ll be post-Thanksgiving, post-paycheck, and hopefully post-humiliation.