The Moneyshot: Day 15
I’m a really emotional spender.
No. Really. Look (click to enlarge if you can’t):
Guess who’s been a little depressed? And now guess who’s shorted himself nearly $800 this month in just funny money? That’s right. This guy. The blogger with two thumbs, pointing at himself forlornly. It’s sad, really, to be a financial blogger in debt. But you know what? This is how I learn, and what I learn I can teach. And in the past few days, I’ve learned one very valuable lesson.
Denial is expensive.
I should probably come clean and admit that this month’s expenditures haven’t all been on the up and up. Yes, there’s the dining out and so forth, but I also have recently had to face a very harsh reality in my life. In the past year, I have spent over $1,000 on porn alone. What could I have done with that $1,000? A ton of shit. For one, I could have an emergency fund that I currently lack. Or, well, do you see those credit cards I haven’t paid off? I could be paying them off right now. They’d be $1,000 lighter because I didn’t throw money down the internet’s multiple tubes on watching one man have sex with another man. I can’t believe my spending even got this out of control. I don’t even think that I consume more porn than other people do! I spend no more than a few minutes a day’“if that’“and certainly no more than an hour or two per week.
But you know, that’s still expensive. And that’s ultimately cost me. This series is meant to be soul-baring, and this certainly is no exception. Please wish me luck in living a new debt-free life.
This is humiliating. I hope you all realize that I’m not making any of this up, and certainly not for attention. If you’re currently struggling with anything like this, please let me know. I could sure use some help without being preached to. Tune in next time where I’ll hopefully have better news to share. That’ll be post-Thanksgiving, post-paycheck, and hopefully post-humiliation.
Clint, I kinda want to give you a hug right now, because it takes guts to be as honest about your situation as you have been. How about free porn?
No need to feel humiliated. Overspending is SO EASY to do. It’s easy to drop 1k per year at Starbucks, 1k probably doesn’t even buy much porn. 🙂
Yes, have a big cyber hug, enjoy your holiday, and start fresh next week monitoring your discretionary spending. I am going to be doing the very same!
Thanks, Serena. 🙂 Personally, I’ve decided to just give it up for now. It’s not so much about the porn itself as it is the impulsive spending behind it that bothers me so. We’ll see how this goes. This has been a rough month!
This is going to sound really stupid, but sometimes when I’m feeling down I’ll go out and shop for clothes or something else that can be returned easily. Then, when I’m feeling better, I go and return the items. I actually get two lifts out of this–one when I but the stuff and a second when I return them (since I feel like I’m getting “bonus money”).
And yes, this still manages to work for me even though I track my expenses just as closely as you do…don’t ask why.
Petunia, BlueFreak, thanks for the support! I’m going to start doing these monthly after this month, but I appreciate it. These are good tips. I’m not sure if I’m much of a shopper, but it does help to have things that are easily returnable.
I cannot but echo what the others have said… I also just want to give you a a close all-enveloping hug.
A lot of us are in the same boat… at least emotionally… I am not going into hock financially at least… but I do “self-medicate”.. oh well… C’est la Vie !
Hi Clint,
I’m an avid reader of your posts and I was seriously in awe when I read this one. You are so unbelievably brave for putting yourself and your truth out there like that.
I echo BlueFreak’s recommendation, it really helps. I like clothes a lot, but I feel guilty spending a lot of money on them or having tons of clothes. By buying and returning them I feel like I test drive ownership to decide if the money paid is really worth it. Most of the time it’s not. J.Crew is a usual victim. God bless them, I return a lot of stuff there, even though nothing worn.
As for your situation, have you tried free websites? I’m not an expert, but I know tons of great sites with good content that are absolutely free.
Keep up the good work!
Hi Gabriel & Sean:
You two are very sweet. I am mostly trying to find cures that are outside the realm of porn because it might underlie a deeper problem. I’ll address it tomorrow and let you know what I’ve come up with. Thank you both for your kind words and support.
I just read your Day 1 post. You’re in the same boat I was after I spent about 18 months unemployed. I wiped it out fairly quickly once my motivation kicked in. Rather than make realistic budgets, I set some extreme goals, molded my life around them, and presto, I’m free of debt. I think the problem is that debt is abstract until it really gets out of control, so we have a hard time making substantial lifestyle changes when we have a good chunk of money or available credit that we can use.
So here’s my guide to eliminating debt on the edge.
With every deposit pay the bills, take out enough cash for food and transportation, and then use the rest for extra debt payments, leaving the account empty. Don’t keep a credit card for emergencies.