Queercents

Lisa wrote a post last week about lifestyle changes adopted by middle-class America in order to survive an economic slowdown. Among these changes she listed personal luxuries, such as getting our hair or nails done, going to the spa, or getting a massage.

As a massage therapist, I have to comment! For many people, getting a massage is most definitely not a luxury. (See my previous article, Massage: Good Investment or Frivolous Luxury?) Sure, I know people who view massage as something only rich people get, or something always involving scented oils and New Age music, or only as part of a “spa day” including facials and salt scrubs.

Don’t get me wrong — I don’t think there’s anything wrong with spas and salons. I adore herbal wraps. I’ve grown to love fancy-pants pedicures with chocolate-scented scrubs. And it’s such a pleasure to get a scalp massage while getting shampooed. I have so much respect for the work of estheticians and hair stylists.  (On a related note: I had an anxiety dream last night in which a salon owner wanted me to give a client a haircut — assuming that I knew what to do with scissors and a comb because I’m a massage therapist. How weird is that?!)

Of course, some reports like this one on NPR have suggested that some people are getting massage instead of going on big expensive trips. They’re spending money on small, affordable luxuries that make them feel extra-special. Read the rest of this entry »

I must have been a holy terror when I was seven years old, because that summer my mother threatened to send me away to a farm. She reasoned that some good hard work — physical labor — would knock some sense into me.

I didn’t particularly like my home life, and so I said, “Sure! Please, send me away to a farm.” To my despair, she never did.

Fast forward thirteen years. A good friend of mine has changed careers out of software development to become a farmer, and Barb and I are participating in his CSA. (Everyone knows by now what a CSA/farm share is, right? Every day I meet people who haven’t heard of the concept. Paula discussed the benefits of a CSA in a recent article on the benefits of local food. You can find a CSA near you through Local Harvest.)

The farmer is growing vegetables of all varieties, and raising pigs, chickens, and lambs. And just last week, the flower plots have started blooming! I took home a big bouquet of cosmos and snapdragons. For a city-dweller with no backyard, this is a perfect way to almost feel like I’m growing my own.

These days, I get to live out my childhood escapist fantasy every single week. Read the rest of this entry »

Nina forwarded me the results of a recent study indicating that nearly a quarter of gay and lesbian adults lack health insurance. Apparently, we’re twice as likely as our straight counterparts to go through life without health coverage.

I’m lucky. Although I’m self-employed, I’m covered by my partner’s company plan. The portion that pays for me comes out of her paycheck post-tax, of course, but it’s a lot cheaper than insuring myself. And I agree with Paula that in the U.S., you cannot afford to be without health insurance. For me, it’s a no-brainer to get health insurance, as long as I can afford it.

The study doesn’t specifically suggest why so many of us are without health coverage. If I had to guess, I’d probably mention that queers have historically earned much less than straight people, and the fact that health insurance is expensive. And even when companies do cover domestic partners, there’s no tax deduction, making coverage even more expensive.

But the study does point out the obvious: When companies market to us, we respond! Read the rest of this entry »

It seems like everyone I know is in the middle of a career transition. Or they’re contemplating one, or they’ve completed one. I don’t know if this is my age group (I turned thirty this year), or the time of year, or trying to be creative in the middle of a recession, but it’s a reality that can’t be ignored.

Over the next few weeks, I’ll be taking a look at a handful of queer friends and acquaintances and exploring how they landed in their careers. A gay firefighter, a lesbian CEO of a startup, a gay interior designer, a transgendered community activist, a lesbian newspaper editor, and a closeted gay Navajo artist: what do they all have in common? How did their choices bring them to where they are today?

Risky Business in a Slow Economy: The Interior Designer

The small house next door has been on the market for a long time, at least since last summer. A few weeks ago the For Sale sign came down, and landscaping and patio construction began.

I finally met the new neighbors today, on my way to the laundromat. They’re a couple in their late thirties or early forties, with a little Shih Tzu dog. John pinged my gaydar immediately. (I probably pinged his too, especially since I’d just returned from the hairdresser with a new super-short haircut.) John told me he’d worked at a local retailer for over twenty years as a facilities manager, and last summer he was told his position was being eliminated. Read the rest of this entry »

I heard on NPR last week that some financial analysts are officially using the word recession to describe the state of the American economy. Finally, the suits are understanding what those of us in the trenches have been feeling for quite some time!

Recessions are stressful. Massage helps with stress. And for people with chronic pain, massage can feel less like pure indulgence and more like a medical necessity. I know for me, I’m happiest and most productive when I’m receiving regular bodywork.

But the going rate for massage where I live is around $65/hour, with at least one massage therapist I know charging $85/hour. (That’s the discounted rate, if you don’t have workman’s comp insurance to cover her normal cost.) I don’t know about you, but I can’t afford that every week or every other week. If you value massage therapy like I do, it’s still important even if you can’t scrape together the change because you’re too busy buying beans and rice.

Here are some ways you can get free, or extremely inexpensive massage. Read the rest of this entry »

I received this email yesterday, from a financial advisor at the local branch of Merrill Lynch.

Hi Jan,
Hoping that it’s okay to write since I came upon your name on the 2007 domestic partner registry. I wanted to introduce myself as a financial advisor who specializes in working with the glbt community. Since there are 1138 federal rights and benefits that are not afforded samesex couples, we need different tactics to protect ourselves and our families.

If this is anything you’d like to talk about, perhaps we could talk further about how I might be of service.

My first reaction: Ugh, I had no idea that putting my name on the domestic partner registry opened me to solicitations like this. My second reaction was much more positive: Hey! I’m being marketed to! And from someone who very likely understands the whole domestic partner situation from an insider’s perspective. That’s pretty cool! Read the rest of this entry »

I lead a fairly simple life, for a city girl. My partner and I are slowly but surely uncluttering our lives, our home, and our brains. We don’t tend to buy a lot of consumer goods (not always difficult, since we’re not usually marketed to directly.) Living frugally is not really a choice at the moment, either, unless we want to rack up huge credit card debt, so I’ve been avoiding planning any large purchases that don’t have anything to do with my impending career change.

But last week, one of my colleagues at massage school shared some excellent news with me. He knows that I live my other life as a web developer, and since I’m tech-savvy, he knew I’d appreciate the new toy he’s bought for himself: his new iPod Touch.

(Actually, he bought a pair: one for him, and one for his wife. Very cute.)

Cue the choruses of angels! That thing can play music, sure, but it can also play videos with great definition, keep track of appointments, surf the web wirelessly — it seems like it’s got all of the stuff the iPhone has, minus the phone functionality. And I want it. Badly.

Read the rest of this entry »

We all know that we’re headed towards a recession. Or that we’re in one. Or whatever. All I know is that I’m looking to save money wherever I can.

Many personal finance blogs advocate clipping coupons as an excellent way to save a little money. Websites like Coupon Mom and The Grocery Game even make an entire system out of it. Get Rich Slowly posted a lot of info on creating your own grocery price book a while ago, which just seems like a lot of work.

Anyway, last Sunday morning I was inspired to pore through the weekly sale flyers. After skipping through pages of car advertisements, I got to the good stuff: coupons for a pharmacy, coupons for a grocery store, and a whole stack of coupons from various local merchants. I dove through them while listening to Weekend Edition on NPR.

And you know what? They sucked! All of the grocery coupons were on overly processed food, not fresh produce, dairy, or meats. (Do I really need fifty cents off of Hostess cupcakes? I can’t remember the last time I bought Hostess cupcakes.) Most of the local services coupons were intended for homeowners, not apartment dwellers. The one exception, an ecologically friendly laundromat that bills itself as “Portland’s Greener Cleaner,” is located clear across town. Read the rest of this entry »

I realized after my last post that I was feeling a little down on myself. I’ve made some less-than-perfect decisions in the past, but so have we all. So I thought I’d put together a list of choices I’ve made since starting college that have turned out to be great, if not always the best option for keeping us financially afloat.

1. My choice of college. Even if the education and networking that come from attending a fancy Ivy League college weren’t enough, I met my partner there. I don’t care how expensive four years at that institution was, it’s worth it for that reason alone.
2. Living out of my comfort zone. Barb and I spent two years in Flagstaff, Arizona so that she could attend graduate school there. I joined her, kicking and screaming, and really disliked being so profoundly landlocked. We also had to keep a very tight budget, and didn’t make any headway on debt. But the experience of living in an environment so different from the East Coast areas I’d lived was eye-opening, and ultimately good for me. Read the rest of this entry »

The personal finance blogosphere is teeming lately with book reviews and tips for folks who are just starting out in the world of personal finance. Trent over at The Simple Dollar recommends what he calls The 50% Solution for people just entering the workforce — put 50% of each paycheck into savings, and live off the rest. Lynn at WiseBread recently reviewed the book Rich by Thirty. (Wish I’d had this book before turning thirty this year.) And our own Melissa has reached the six-month anniversary of living in the Big Girl World.

And this has all got me thinking: if I could rewind to when I was first starting college, what financial decisions would I have made differently?

Of course, in a perfect world, I would have come from rich parents who taught me how to handle money and invest it wisely. And I wouldn’t have student loans. But we work with the hand we’re dealt! So what could I have done better? Read the rest of this entry »