Queercents

Every time I read an article like the recent “How social media can hurt your career” on Careerbuilder, I am grateful that we didn’t have social media back when I was in college. Young, testing the waters, and with a lot of opinions to share, I wonder if I would have unknowingly committed a faux pas in the weakness of a heated moment that would have hurt me professionally? Of course, stupid choices are not reserved for the young. Grown and experienced adults make them every day. The differences are some are more public than others and now social media is being used by employers as a microscopic tool inspecting your every utterance.

As social media becomes the latest branding strategy, networking technique, job seeking tool and recruitment vehicle, it’s also becoming the latest way for people to get job offers rescinded, reprimanded at work and even fired.

While I am all for expressing oneself and acknowledge that for many of us our online friends are as valuable as any person we know IRL (“in real life”), some of the examples I read about are really eligible for the Darwin Awards. Like the offhanded “my boss is an idiot” type remarks on Twitter and Facebook or the “I’m doing something illegal, immoral or against company policy right now at my desk” sort of fare that really makes you wonder whether the author thinks that no one is really going to read it? Unless you are working in a cave, chances are your boss, co-workers, employer, or someone is going to have something to say about your comments. Remember the 6 degrees of separation that makes social networking such a powerful tool? Well the power saw cuts both ways.

Of course what is and is not appropriate is in the eye of each individual. Yet when it comes to professional life you really do have to get that you should never put anything in print (and these days that includes tweets, status updates, etc.) that you (or your mother) would be embarrassed seeing on the front page of the newspaper (or say the front page of CNN.com). Read the rest of this entry »

I can remember my first year at my last company (let’s call it Fancy Fortune 100)) when bonus and raise time rolled around.  Management was so excited about the fact that they were handing out employee stock options as part of the compensation package.  Oh everyone rejoiced, you’ll make a lot of money on this, it’ll be worth tens of thousands of dollars. People buy cars and boats in cash with their option grants.  This week as I shredded the useless paper filled with the options that expired two years from my last day with the company due to layoffs I sarcastically muttered – wow what a load of crap.

I know I shouldn’t complain. During my years there I earned a good salary and did receive some cash bonus awards.  It’s not like I was part of the Dot Com bust where people literally were planning on stock options for survival (or at least justification for working 24/7/365).  It’s not like I worked for Enron and saw my my 401K vanish or invested with Madoff and lost my life savings. Yet the promise of a job well done sours as I fire up my shredder. Read the rest of this entry »

Last month I had another of my podcast interviews and this time with Julie Roads of Writing Roads, LLC.   Julie is a professional marketing copywriter, speaker/workshopper and consultant with a specialty in web & blog writing and activating social media authentically to grow any business.  I first met Julie online, most likely through my writings here at Queercents. As I got to know her work more I was thrilled to get a chance to sit down and talk with her one-on-one about what it takes to be successful as a self-employed writer.

In our time together Julie shares a lot of great tips for all aspiring writers and freelancers.  She also talks about the joys and challenges of raising her kids with her wife.  Julie is a social media expert with a knack of building community online so you’ll want to check out her musings on Twitter as well.

Head on over to listen to the comfortable in your own skin podcast with Julie Roads.

I have been reading an excellent book called “Curious?: Discover the Missing Ingredient to a Fulfilling Life” by Todd Kashdan, PhD. Today one chapter of my morning read really struck me. It was about how our reactions to anxiety can drain us and leave us ineffective both on the job and off. It got me to wondering about the challenges associated with being queer (both in and out of the closet) in the workplace.

If anxiety can have such a destructive effect and overtax someone’s resources to the point of making them demonstratively less effective, what about the levels of anxiety felt by thousands of queers in the workplace? Kashdan states (p.183):

Dozens of experimental studies show that if you ask people to engage in intense acts of self-control, such as trying not to appear anxious when giving a speech in front of an audience, they are less effective at responsibilities immediately after- even if the follow-up activity has nothing to do with the first task. In studies, they score lower on intelligence tests, show a weaker hand grip, hold their hands in cold water for less time before giving up.

I would put trying to stay in the closet as an intense act of self-control. I know when I initially was coming out to myself it drove me insane to go into work after a cool weekend with my girlfriend only to have to lie about it all (of course that quickly went by the wayside once I felt confident and came out). It definitely taxed me on all levels. Read the rest of this entry »

The paradox of these changing times is that on the one hand it is an ideal time to re-evaluate your career path whether you still have a job, got laid off, or started/own a business. On the flip side these anxieties are transforming the workplace and business climate in such a way that many people are scared into full paralysis.

I was recently speaking with a prospective client who is really interested in taking her career in a new direction. Let’s call her Sue (not her real name). She’s been in the same career for a long time and while she has thus far avoided the pink slip brigade, things are volatile at her company in terms of reorganizations and layoffs. To add to her conundrum, she really wants to do something different with her professional life whether it is opening her own business or entering a different field. Problem is, Sue is stuck in analysis paralysis with some whipped cream and a dash of fear on top. Her current job and work environment doesn’t align with her values but she is afraid to rock the boat.

If I hear “afraid to rock the boat” one more time I could scream. I understand being judicious and professional in your career, that is a sign of strong character. Being afraid to ever take a stand, speak up, or walk to the beat of your own drum because you have bought into the illusion that making no waves will keep you and your job “safe” is, well a fantasy. This fantasy plagues many people and lately it has gotten epidemic. Read the rest of this entry »

Ilene Chaiken and Paula Gregorowicz

I couldn’t resist using this as the title of this post only because after musing upon it for a while while kayaking the other day I wondered if it was the pursuit of money, the subsequent corruption by power, and then losing it that caused Jenny to snap.  Our house is still voting that she either killed herself on purpose or by accident.  Of course no one knows for sure, but when Ilene Chaiken spoke as part of the keynote panel at BlogHer ’09, she did attempt to reassure the fans in the audience that she will resolve the whole conundrum if/when The L Word movie is made.

As a side note, I think Zoe Gaymo had the funniest title of a post/photo caption in her post “Me & the only woman who knows who killed Jenny”.  Thanks to Zoe for taking this photo for me.

You can catch some Twitnotes of the session courtesy of Lesbian Dad.

While I would’ve liked to hear her talk more about the lessons learned and future possibilities from the now defunct online community of OurChart.com rather than The L Word, overall I found the discussion very engaging.  In addition to Chaiken on the panel were Tina Brown of The Daily Beast and Donna Byrd of The Root.com.  The session was moderated by Lisa Stone, co-founder of BlogHer.

The name of the game when it comes to marrying sponsorship with social media and blogs,  according to all three women, is transparency.  All three have dealt with varying sponsorship and advertising online and off and it is simply a fact of life.  Yet, audiences can be very forgiving of tastefully, clearly identified paid-for content.  Chaiken shared how back in the early L Word days, not a single corporation would agree to be an on-air sponsor when she was looking for someone to sponsor Dana.  Subaru stepped up as it has done a great deal for the LGBT community.  Brown explained that sponsored content on The Daily Beast is clearly identified.

All agreed that the key to success online is to clearly identify your audience and then differentiate yourself from other blogs/companies.

Perhaps the most striking comment from Chaiken was one that I have intuitively agreed with for years.  As lesbians, do we have more in common with identifying primarily with our sexuality and the LGBT community or, with large groups of women of similar interests, professions, etc.?  As a company, which demographic do you then align yourself with?  Based on her experience, she has found that in many ways we have more in common with large groups of women.  This is not to say to ignore or discount the commonalities with the LGBT community but more-so as a primary identifying factor when it comes to advertising, demographics, etc.

I walked away from the panel far more enlightened about the state of making money via social media and the importance of always staying true to your integrity in a way that is authentic and transparent.  It might not be the road to quick riches but is the only approach sustainable in the long run.

Now you can watch the keynote presentation with Ilene Chaiken, Tina Brown, and Donna Byrd via video.

So, you’ve gone to a networking event, (or like me, just gotten home from BlogHer ’09), and now you have a pile of business cards and new contacts. What do you do next? It can sometimes be a little overwhelming but follow up is a critical element in making the most of new connections you make.

Have you ever left a powerful event feeling all inspired and excited about the wonderful people you met? Then, you went home and absolutely nothing happened. Life got in the way, you were backlogged on emails from being out of town, or you suddenly had projects on deadline. Either way, the connections and event become a distant memory and opportunities go by the wayside. It is a sad reality for so many. As people we really do want to help one another and cherish the connections we’ve made but somehow it slips away.

It doesn’t have to be that way. Have a follow up strategy in place before you go to an event (and it helps to have one in place at all times for that matter) and then execute when you get home. Larina Kase calls this networking issue #3 in her post “Is Networking a Waste of Time?”. The solution she offers:

Only attend if you can commit to following up. Schedule follow-up time on your calendar before you even arrive at the event. Adopt a less is more mentality. It’s often better to meet fewer, higher-quality contacts than to leave with a stack of business cards. Don’t count on others to follow-up. Make it your responsibility.

Now remember I said strategy for follow up not cookie-cutter crapola. Read the rest of this entry »

This month I am totally thrilled to bring you my Comfortable in Your Own Skin Podcast series. I am always excited to share it with the Queercents community, but this month even moreso because the topic is money and finance. My guest is Stacy Francis of Francis Financial. I first met Stacy six years ago at a coaching seminar and we’ve been in touch ever since.

Stacy is a certified financial planner, a nationally recognized media expert, speaker and author of the upcoming book The New Formula for Financial Success: Bounce Back and Gain Control Over Your Financial Future! Her firm, Francis Financial, Inc. is an independent, fee-only firm that provides comprehensive financial planning services. Stacy is also the founder of Savvy Ladies, a 20,000-plus non-profit educational organization established to empower women to take control of their finances and achieve more rich and rewarding lives. While you can read the full bio on my podcast post, the abridged version is that Stacy has appeared as a nationally recognized expert in all the big venues CNBC, CNN, Nightly Business Report, NPR, The Today Show… and has been quoted in some publications I’m sure you’ll recognize like Business Week, CNN, Entrepreneur, Forbes, Money Magazine, New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today …

You get the picture — she knows money and finance. What is, in my opinion her greatest asset is that she is a woman of great integrity, truly genuine, and down-to-earth. Stacy knows people and as I’ve written about over and over it is money mindset and the person more than any financial tool that is at the crux of financial success.

Do yourself a favor and take the time to listen to this podcast.  I am grateful I had the chance to do it and you’re guaranteed to be inspired and learn something new (I know I sure did).

Listen and download the audio at my blog.

Former General Electric Co. CEO Jack Welch left women shaking their heads at the Society for Human Resource Management’s annual conference when he said:

“There’s no such thing as work-life balance,” Mr. Welch told the Society for Human Resource Management’s annual conference in New Orleans on June 28. “There are work-life choices, and you make them, and they have consequences.”

The resulting Wall Street Journal Article “Welch: ‘No Such Thing as Work-Life Balance’” was one of the most popular articles on the WSJ site this week and is whipping this conversation back into a frenzy.

Now I’ve written about finding balance in your life and business and the fact that balance is a myth but aligning your choices with your values is a better approach. Yet it is a bit jaw-dropping to read the WSJ article and the general bluntness of Mr. Welch basically saying that if you’re not around in the clutch constantly that you’re a second rate talent headed for a second-tier career. While that is my paraphrasing, his exact words were:

“We’d love to have more women moving up faster,” Mr. Welch said. “But they’ve got to make the tough choices and know the consequences of each one.”

Taking time off for family “can offer a nice life,” Mr. Welch said, “but the chances of going to the top on that path” are smaller. “That doesn’t mean you can’t have a nice career,” he added.

While I don’t have kids, I know that when I worked in corporate, comments like this made me insane with rage (well they still do). The audacity that human beings have to choose between a well-lived life and a successful career seems a little barbaric here in 2009. Read the rest of this entry »

I have to say I love a story where a consumer is wronged by a company and then takes their complaints public in a creative, effective way. We’ve all had our share of frustrations with the airlines and my understanding is that musicians have it particularly difficult when airline staff force them to check their instruments into checked luggage and then the baggage handlers exhibit the IQ of those apes in the old American Tourister commercials.

That’s why I truly enjoyed finding out about the story of the band Sons of Maxwell, their broken guitars, subsequent struggle with United Airlines, and their resulting series of songs and videos on the subject. Here’s the short scoop:

In the spring of 2008, Sons of Maxwell were traveling to Nebraska for a one-week tour and my Taylor guitar was witnessed being thrown by United Airlines baggage handlers in Chicago. I discovered later that the $3500 guitar was severely damaged. They didn’t deny the experience occurred but for nine months the various people I communicated with put the responsibility for dealing with the damage on everyone other than themselves and finally said they would do nothing to compensate me for my loss. So I promised the last person to finally say “no” to compensation (Ms. Irlweg) that I would write and produce three songs about my experience with United Airlines and make videos for each to be viewed online by anyone in the world. United: Song 1 is the first of those songs.

Read the rest of this entry »