Long time readers of Queercents might remember the Career & Money series I wrote starting in March of 2007. It seemed almost like ancient history to me when Nina suggested I update it and compile it into an eBook. Well I am happy to say that it is now available for download and is recently updated.

As I reviewed every word of the original series I realized that it is so relevant in today’s environment. Now more than ever it is imperative to consciously create your personal and professional life in a way that fuels who you are while also providing the financial means to live the way you most desire.

There’s nothing flashy about this book. It is about the fundamentals. The foundational questions you need to answer for yourself as it relates to your life and career. They are even more true today than they were 18 months ago when money and the markets were still flying high. Regardless of the economic climate I am a firm believer that today is the first day in the rest of your life and it is imperative to seize the day and live fully in the present moment while also creating an inspiring future.

Here’s a look at the table of contents:

Part 1: Intention, Plan and Goals
Part 2: How to Determine if You Want a Career or a Job
Part 3: What are your values? How much do you need/want to earn?
Part 4: How Can You Earn Money?
Part 4A: Skills vs. Passion
Part 5: Landing the Job (Part One)
Part 6: Landing the Job – Make and Close the Deal
Part 7: Staring Your Own Business
Part 8: Making the Most of Your Career
Part 9: Re-pot, Re-invent, Re-visit
Part 10: Work & Happiness
Part 11: Retirement
Want to Learn More?

I cover a lot of ground in this book. I guarantee if you do the exercises contained in it you will walk away with clarity and actionable next steps.

If you are ready to learn how to get started designing a professional life that fits WHO you are instead of how you were told it “should” look today… Buy the Career & Money eBook here for just $7.

Planning for retirement. It is a phrase that can confound the best of us. Whether you work for yourself or a company, the fact is that you need to plan financially for your later years of life. Unfortunately for so many either you live on the deferred life plan waiting for that utopia (retirement) to truly do the things you want to do or you find yourself woefully underfunded and unable to retire comfortably or both. This is where some conscious decisionmaking along the way comes in very handy.

I’ll state the obvious upfront. I am not a financial planner nor do I pretend to be. To really get a handle on a plan that is right for you, hire a good planner for yourself. He/she should work as a partner with you to assess where you are today and where you want to go in terms of retirement.

The single most important lesson I ever learned about retirement planning came to me when I was 22 years old, recently out of college, and at my first full time job. I was on a special project working with my employer’s external public account auditors. Sitting in a room full of heavy-duty bean counters the talk often migrated to the topic of money. As someone with an accounting degree myself I was more than open to a financial conversation. The person in charge whose name was Lisa gave me a big speech about the importance of saving for retirement. “Retirement!??!?”, I said. “I’m only 22 and just got out of college. I don’t want to think about retirement; it’s not even something I can conceptualize.” She laid down the bottom line for me. Start early and be consistent. If you have a 401K with a company match, you cannot turn down free money for retirement. It was at that point that I started contributing to the company’s 401K at least to the maximum amount of company match and I’ve done so ever since. As I look back on the last 15+ years, I am amazed at how it has added up.

The next most important lesson I learned was less about the financial aspect of retirement as the mental aspect and lifestyle end of it. I’ve watched more than one close family member or friend delay doing the things they would love to do until retirement and then have medical issues (or die), not enough money available, or for some other dumb reason (ex: “too old”) for not being able to do the things they have always dreamed of doing. Nothing pains me more than to watch this. It feels so empty and futile to me. I think Tim Ferris’ (4 Hour Workweek) punchy explanation of this crazy phenomenon of living a “deferred life” as he calls it is about as well said as any I’ve heard. I, personally am determined to not repeat the mistakes I’ve seen of waiting for “someday”. Let’s face it folks… turn to your calendars right now and I dare you to find where on it it says “someday”. Doesn’t exist; not going to happen, unless you make it happen.

I believe deeply it is a balance. Like many financial conundrums, you need to strike a balance between saving for later and spending now. Do you do “xyz” and have a great deal of enjoyment or save the same amount for a rainy day (in this case retirement)? My personal preference is to splurge on experiences because that’s all life is in the long run anyway — a string of experiences. Splurge without shortchanging your ability to provide for your needs and wants at some later date. What makes retirement so tricky are two key variables 1) the amount of time until you “retire” and 2) the ultimate unknown: how long will you live and how healthy will you be.
Given we can’t solve these variables, we need to do the next best thing – plan. So here are my quick tips to make the most of your retirement planning.

If you work for a company:

• Do they have a 401K? If so do they match your funds? Bottom line – you need to contribute at least as much needed to get the maximum match. Otherwise you are throwing money away.
• Do they have a retirement or pension plan? These are going the way of the dinosaur, but if there is one understand how it works and what you’ll be entitled to.

If you work for yourself:

• Do you have retirement accounts in place?
• Are you taking advantage of tax advantaged accounts available to self-employed individuals and small business owners ?
  

Whether you are an employee or self-employed:

• Save early and often. Time is on your side.
• You are never too young to start.
• Contribute to Roth and Traditional IRAs depending on what is best for your situation.
• Don’t go it alone. Hire a knowledgable professional to help you create a system that works for you and evaluate where you are in relation to your goals.
• Educate yourself. Even with an advisor it pays to have a fundamental knowledge of what’s what.
• Track your progress.
• Get clear on what you really want from your life now and in the future. Living a life aligned with your values is the best recipe for avoiding regret.
• Live fully now and later. skip the deferred living plan and enjoy your present (it is all we really are promised anyway) while also being smart about tomorrow.
• If you have a partner, talk about each of your expectations around retirement. Like any joint financial conversation, what affects one person affects the other .

Retirement planning doesn’t have to be a big elephant in the room. It is simply a fact of life. No one can do it for you, and there are no “personal loans” to cover retirement, so it is imperative that you don’t stick your head in the sand assuming someone else will take care of you when you can no longer/choose to no longer work.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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Can a career or job make you happy? Nope. Even the perfect “right fit” career can never make you happy. Happiness can only come from inside of you. On the flip side, even if you are happy as a clam with who you are, the wrong job can make you miserable and drag you down unless you do something about it. That’s why it is critical to understand where you are on the happiness scale before you start jumping jobs or embarking on new career paths.

I wrote quite a bit about the topic “Can a Job Make You Happy?” on my Coaching4Lesbians blog. Bottom line is chasing happiness through the pursuit of a job (or anything external for that matter) is akin to a dog chasing its tail. A lot of action and energy spent but no progress made. Why is that?

As I see it, happiness is a state of being; a being-ness about who you are at the core: how you feel about yourself and your life; how you show up in the world. It is right up there with a connection to a higher power and spiritual life. You can’t put your finger on it, but you feel it and it can make all the difference when it comes to living a meaningful and fulfilling life. On the other hand, a job is all about doing; a doing-ness where it is all about what you do, who you do it with, and the environment you do it in, etc. It is about the roles and responsibilities you assume when you take on a particular job. Since it isn’t connected directly to who you are (who are be-ing) it can neither make you happy nor unhappy.

This is the good and bad news. The good news is that there is no perfect job out there and finding it isn’t going to suddenly be the answer to all your prayers and make you happy. That should bring you some relief and take the job hunt pressure off. Yet, if your chosen path to earn a living is eating away at you daily and making you miserable, being told a different job isn’t the answer to happiness may push you over the edge ready to leap from a tall building. Don’t do it! Here’s why…

While the happiness you feel or don’t feel can only come from inside you, there is an element of happiness to be found on the job. As I see it, happiness in employment or business ownership comes more from WHO you get to BE while you are engaged in your professional life than from the activities themselves. This “who you get to be” thing encompasses all sorts of workplace intangibles, for example:

• Ability to be out of the closet in your professional life
• A physical environment that nurtures you (for most, cubicles cause brain damage)
• Colleagues and customers that respect you as a person
• Reasonable and flexible expectations so your life can be as important as your job
• Ample time off for you to disconnect and enjoy your life
• Freedom from hierarchy, red tape, and dis-empowering situations
• Flexibility to create a working arrangement that allows your strengths to shine
• An attitude of play, creativity, and experimentation devoid of man made crisis and attitudes of constant emergencies
• Being treated as a capable and whole adult human being knowing you are trusted and not micromanaged like a robot

Having been in both situations that worked and didn’t work for me, I can honestly say that even if you don’t love the task that you’re doing, if you get to bring your whole self and unique personality to the job and do it in a style that meets your work preferences, you will be far happier than if you get to do some interesting task in a hell hole worse than the Dilbert cartoon.

How can you cultivate more happiness in your life right now regardless of your job? Consider the following as a to-do list for feeling good:

• Engage in regular acts of gratitude
• Take time to be quiet and listen to what your heart has to say
• Stop and smell the roses (cliché but VERY true)
• Cultivate and cherish rich relationships with other people and a larger community
• Connect with a power and purpose greater than yourself. (Any organized or unorganized spiritual practice that fits your philosophy and beliefs will do)
• Learn how to be comfortable in your own skin
• Be present and enjoy what is in front of you right now
• Play more
• Don’t live on a “deferred life” plan counting on doing what you really want to do “someday”
• Know when to persevere and when to quit

If you find you are relatively happy except for your career which you dread and despise daily, it is time to make a change. Don’t make up excuses for decades and stay miserable, change something! The key to a successful change is to get to know yourself well (as I suggest in Part 9, Part 2, and Part 3 of this series) and then make a change with the WHO in mind. Chasing money or titles and change for change sake is a sure path away from lasting and authentic happiness.

So, give up the chase and settle into the happiness that can already be yours right now. Then, design a job or business that supports the “who of being you” in a way that rewards you with great wealth and prosperity of the financial and non-financial kind.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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If you are not growing and evolving you’re dead. The minute you stop learning about yourself, the world, and different skills, you have really stopped living. Careers are much like gardens in that you:

• Decide what you want to plant
• Plant seeds
• Tend to the seeds with water, sunshine, and care providing space and support for growth
• Prune out the stuff you don’t want
• Enjoy the harvest
• Turn what’s left over back in the soil to provide nutrients for the future
• Take periods of rest, mini-retirement, and hibernation to prepare for the next cycle

The stage I am talking about in this article is a combination of deciding what you want to plant, tending to your crop, and taking a step back to see what’s on tap for the next cycle. Just like you need to rotate crops for maximum effectiveness, you need to stay fresh and engaged in what you’re doing or else you just become a burned out shell like the guy with the stapler in the movie Office Space.

When you’ve reached a lull and are feeling bored, stifled, or unable to grow any more because you’ve maxed out where you are presently, it is time to re-pot. The need to re-pot is characterized by feeling stuck, stale, lifeless, and generally ready to stretch your legs in a new direction (big or small). Re-potting your career is a lot like re-potting a plant. You need a bigger pot in which to grow. That may mean a more challenging project, position, business opportunity, or company in which to work. It could be a big change or a small change. The bottom line is it needs to stretch you a bit and allow for your life giving and passion filled roots to re-anchor in and extend out into some new space.

Re-inventing oneself is not reserved for the creative artists among us. We’ve all heard the phrase “so and so really re-invented herself with this new CD/art showing/book/movie, etc.” We are all creative beings and we all need to re-invent ourselves now and then. It often gets a bad rap as if exploring and recreating what we want from life is somehow childish and irresponsible. You can almost hearing your parents saying “but it is a good job with a good company why would you want to rock the boat by doing something different?” Listening to someone else’s reasoning on why you should stay stuck in something that no longer lights your fire is akin to eating stale and moldy bread everyday for breakfast and wondering why your tummy hurts. Reinventing is crucial to your success. Remember all those COBOL programmers who made it rich during Y2K? Well, the ones that reinvented themselves are still in successful careers, those that refused to budge turned into a one-trick pony and watched their jobs get eliminated and outsourced. Be the inventor of your own life, not a passive observer. Play, explore, and reinvent yourself on the job and off. Try something new. Even engaging in a hobby, class, or endeavor you always dreamed of in your non-work hours can put a spark back into your life and existing career.

Re-visit your life’s desires, dreams, and values. In Part 2 and Part 3 of this series I emphasize the importance of and walk you through the steps of getting clear on what you really want your life to look like. While your core values won’t change, how you choose to express them in your life can and will change over time. Taking some assessments to help you learn and explore more about your interests, aptitudes, and personality type is a great way to get back in touch with your desires and preferences. Google terms like “online personality assessments” to find some to play around with. Or, consider working with someone who can walk you through assessments like DISC, Myers-Briggs, or Highlands Battery to get the exploratory juices flowing. While I am admittedly biased (and not because I’m a coach myself but because I’ve found tremendous value from my own coaches), hiring a coach is a great way to dig deep and explore what kind of life or career redesign is right for you right now. A coach can help you see what you cannot see because you’re too mired in the day to day “usual” routine. If you’re feeling burned out or stale it may have gotten to be “normal” for you so you don’t even notice it anymore. You simply live numbed out or checked out to life. A good coach can pick that up right away and help you gain new awareness and create an action plan to put the zip back in your days.

Admittedly this phase of career and money is not nearly as cut and dry as hunting for a job or planning a business (and goodness knows they aren’t even THAT cut and dry). Yet, it is important to regularly step back and look at the big picture for your career, money, and life. Take time to look at the whole forest and not just the trees. The time to explore is before you hit a roadblock of epic proportions or find yourself with a big decision to make due to unexpected circumstances layoffs, being forced to relocate, etc… When you tend your garden you want to stay on top of the needs of not only each individual plant but the garden as a whole. Re-potting, re-inventing, and re-visiting helps you do the same for your career.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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Whether you are an entrepreneur by trade or not, you need to take an entrepreneurial mindset if you want to make the most of your career. I’ve said this many times before but it bears repeating: even if you work for an employer, you are the CEO of You, Inc. and are the primary person responsible for your success. With this comes the responsibility of:

• investing in your personal and professional growth (education and more)
• staying current in your field or acquiring skills and training for a new field
• getting paid what you’re worth
• securing sufficient time off for personal pursuits and vacations
• funding your retirement
• knowing and capitalizing on benefits

The nice thing about this list is it is a good roadmap to follow whether you work for someone else or are flying solo. While the steps to implement may look different, the principles remain the same. Let’s take a high level look at each of these areas.

Investing in YOU

There is no better investment you can make than your own personal development. While there are no real hard and fast ROI figures for personal and professional development in general, it is a proven fact that incomes rise as the level of completed education rises. Dramatically, the salary difference between someone with an Associates Degree compared to someone with a Bachelor’s Degree was 64.9% according to 2003 Census Data. And this is just an example of formal education.

Let’s face it, lifetime learners are bound to earn more over time simply because their skill sets and talents are always evolving. In today’s environment you need to be able to learn and turn on a dime in order to adapt to changing technologies and environments. And, if you think hard skills are the only “real” worthwhile pursuits, consider the fact that soft skills are even more important to your opportunities for success. If you can’t communicate, relate, and empathize with the people you work for and with (that includes clients and customers too) you will go nowhere fast. At the very least you’ll find yourself in a dead end street trying to hang on. Ask any technology professional who only wanted to know how to code (let’s say COBOL) and now sees his/her job being performed overseas. If you don’t have other marketable skills and strong people skills you will quickly find yourself in the ranks of the minimum wage worker.

Investing in you also applies to the fun stuff. Learning a hobby or doing deep personal work falls into the same category of success (and happiness) enhancers. Things you learn about yourself while “off the job” can be as beneficial or even more so to your future than the more conventional educational paths, so don’t discount their true value.

Staying Current

Staying current is a combination of investing in you and simply being aware. Stay abreast of trends and developments in your chosen profession. Read, read, read, and then read some more – both online and offline. Interact with other people who do what you do. Volunteer for projects that excite you even if they have nothing to do with your current job. You never know where your next connection or opportunity may come from. My entire technical freelance writing career came about as a result of me complaining about a piece of software on a technical forum. The editor asked me to write a review of the software and that he’d pay me. That was 8 years and 4 editors ago. In addition, this resume item of “published technical writer” helped me stand out amidst many candidates when I was applying for web developer jobs years ago. My point is to explore things that interest you and don’t be afraid to draw attention to these unique attributes in resumes, cover letters, and marketing materials. It helps answer the “why should I hire you?” question from both employers and potential clients.

Getting Paid What You’re Worth

Goodness knows I could write books about this one. Bottom line is that you deserve to be paid what you are worth and you need to negotiate and create the earnings you desire. It may look like changing jobs, negotiating with your current employer, raising your fees, starting a side business, or creating passive income streams. There is more than one way to create the flow of money into your life.

If you are working for an employer, you need to know what they going rates are for the type of job you do. Use one or more of the following salary sites to help you do that: Salary.com, Salary Expert, and Pay Scale. If you’re not making what your peers are based on experience and geography, it is time to do some negotiating. Even if you are earning a comparable salary, if you bring great results to your organization there’s no reason why you can’t earn more than the average. If you’re not happy with the pay (and other aspects of your job since pay isn’t everything), changing jobs can also be financially lucrative. Just be sure you aren’t simply chasing money because that is a recipe for unhappiness.

If you own a business take a look at how you charge for your products and services. Value based fee setting is the way to go because competing on price is a sure way for more stress and money struggles. You are not Wal-Mart, nor should you try to be. Instead charge for the value of what you offer — what is solving the customer’s problem worth to them? Most importantly, don’t put yourself on sale.

Two other great ways to earn more money is to start a side business while you are employed and to leverage passive income streams. Starting a side business is pretty self-explanatory, but what do I mean by passive income stream? I mean any way you can earn money with either minimal effort or an initial investment of time up front that then yields dividends without any additional time investment (think- creating an information product and selling it online). If you have expertise in an area, that information is valuable to someone else, so consider getting paid for that expertise!

Time Off

If you’re working for someone else, the more time off you get paid for, the better off you are. I have always felt that time is far more valuable than money and would go to the mat for vacation and personal time. You can always make more money, but you cannot create more time. We all get the same amount – 24 hours in a day. And, our lives are defined by how we spend our time and who we are not how much money we make. Always negotiate for time and flexibility (remote work, flexible hours, etc.). Remember that your bargaining power is greater before you actually accept a job. When I accepted a position at a Fortune 100 company, I made the mistake of not negotiating strongly enough for an additional week of vacation that I deserved based on the company’s policies and my work experience. I backed away after their first “no”. I regretted it for five years.

If you own your own business you must factor in ample time off into your time and money projections. What’s the point of being your own boss if you become a bigger jerk than the one you left at the office? While you will work hard flying solo, you need to relax just as tenaciously. Factor it into your fee setting and price your work accordingly so you can and do take “paid” vacations. Believe me, when you step away from working so hard in the business, (paradoxically) more business will flow to you. It is part of the law of attraction and self-care is a vital piece of that.

Funding Retirement

As I see it retirement is different than it is portrayed by so many employees. To me sacrificing my life in the hope of getting to “really live” for just a few years late into my life is not what it’s all about. Instead, retirement is about planning for your financial future by making the most of the present while socking money away for future needs when you might not want or be able to work or earn as much. The new retirement is more about shifting priorities and trying new things rather than sitting on the couch or playing golf all day. By the time those of us in our 30’s reach retirement age (whatever the hell that will mean in official government speak by then – 80?!?) it will be a whole new ballgame. You cannot rely on anyone or anything (the government, employers, inheritances) to provide for you. You need to create it for yourself.

That being said, I don’t believe you should sacrifice enjoying life now for some nebulous long term financial goal. Be smart, save for the future, and maximize your investments; then let go. Whether you are employed or work for yourself you need to take advantage of financial vehicles like tax advantaged accounts (401K’s, IRA’s, SERP’s, etc.) as early as possible and be disciplined about consistently saving. Never miss out on a company match (why kiss away free money?) and don’t treat your retirement savings as a piggy bank because withdrawals can be penalty ridden and more costly in the long run than you know. For some quick tips on hoe to get started, check out this “Retiring in Style” article at Savvy Ladies (the facts hold true for women and men alike, so don’t feel left our guys!).

Maximizing Benefits

Remember that big fat book your employer handed you on your first day on the job that you threw in a drawer or that drab benefits website that you never visited? Well, now is the time to look at the details because most companies allow you to make new benefit selections annually or after a “life changing” event. Of course as GLBT folks we tend to have less “life changing events” according to the law because of our inability to marry, but the strategies remain the same regardless and if your company offers domestic partner benefits you may be entitled to “almost” the same benefits as your married counterparts.

I already talked about the importance of getting the full company match on your retirement contributions, but your company might offer benefits like medical spending accounts or dependent care accounts which you shouldn’t miss out on. Both of these accounts are tax advantaged ways to pay for necessary expenses related to health care and dependent care. What happens is you contribute money pre-tax to the accounts and then get that money back when you submit receipts for qualified expenses. The only catch is usually you can’t carry over money in the accounts from one year to the next so you need to do a good estimate of your expected expenses or you could lose money. Other benefits such as life insurance, disability insurance, and other company sponsored goodies are often available as well. The most important thing is that you know what is offered, understand the details, and make it work for you to the maximum benefit possible.

If you are self-employed you are in the driver’s seat for selecting and paying for your benefits. That’s the good and bad news. In most cases you will need to augment your health and other insurance with “spending accounts” to cover expenses not covered in high deductible or limited coverage policies. In addition, you need to tend to other details that are often automatically handled by an employer like disability, life insurance, estimated tax payments, and more. Find yourself a good small business advisor and related service professionals to help guide you through. Organizations like the National Association of Self-Employed (NASE) are great as well as alumni associations and professional business groups. Ask trusted colleagues who are successful over the long haul for recommendations as well. As with anything, do your due diligence because common practice is not always the best practice.

So, make the most of it! And next time I’ll talk about what to do when the current status quo just isn’t lighting your fire anymore.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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Whether you call yourself an entrepreneur, freelancer, solo-preneur, owner of a home based business or something else, the one thing in common is – you are your own boss. You are responsible for your own destiny — succeed or fail — in a way you never could be working for someone else. There is so much to learn that you will never know all that you need to know. That is the good and the bad news.

The main components to getting started based on my personal experience are as follows:

1) Am I Cut Out for This?
2) Getting a Plan
3) Forming your business
3) Working the Plan & Finding the Funding
4) Creating Your Support Team
5) Getting Clients
6) Managing the Business (systems)
7) Ongoing Learning
Revisiting and Revising

Am I Cut Out for This?

Owning your own business is not for everyone and certainly not for the faint of heart. Every day that I work in or on my business I realize this truth. Yet, what separates the success stories from the failures has more to do with WHO you are than WHAT you know. (It’s funny, but I find this truth to be pretty darn applicable in all areas of our lives.) If you’re not sure what I mean, check out this article “Are You Cut Out to Be Your Own Boss?” by small business expert Karyn Greenstreet .

If you’re anything like me you may get hung up on beliefs like

• “If I want to own my own business I’ll have to work 24 X 7″
• “You can’t enjoy what you do, have free time, and make a lot of money”
• “Being in business is risky”

Or, you might find other mind chatter that keeps you paralyzed with inaction. In today’s world, however the route to business owner is far different than it was years ago and many of those old myths need not apply. Check out these “8 Outdated Notions of Entrepreneurship” to see if you’re stuck with some outdated belief that is keeping you stuck.

If you’re still not sure, go back to my tips on Life Planning because that is the root from which all your choices grow. If you just know it is right for you, but are scared and feel all alone, visit Escape from Cubicle Nation it is like a virtual lifeline for corporate employees starting their own business.

Getting a Plan

There are two types of entrepreneurs: those with a plan and those flying by the seat of their pants. Don’t let the thought of planning your business paralyze you. Whenever someone says the words “business plan” people’s blood stops circulating in their veins and they make all sorts of excuses as to why they don’t have time to plan (after all, they are so busy doing stuff, right?). You probably wouldn’t dream of planning a vacation several states away without using a map so what makes you think you should trust your livelihood and future career success to chance? Doesn’t make sense.

That being said, a business plan doesn’t have to be a mammoth document full of minute details. Unless you are going after loans, financing, and venture capital (in which case they have specific financial requirements that need to be included in your business plan), you can do solid planning in just a few pages. Think of it as the cliff notes for your business — it captures the most important details and creates a workable document without every long, drawn out detail. The best resources I have found and personally use are the Passion for Business resources for creating both your business plan and your marketing plan. Start with the article “What Should Be in Your Business Plan?” and build from there.

Perhaps the best business book you can ever read would be “The E-Myth Revisited” by Michael Gerber. This book gives you all the information you need to know why small businesses don’t work and what you can do about it so you don’t become a failure statistic. It is guaranteed to shift your mindset.

Forming your business

What type of legal entity do you want your business to be? What types of licenses, permits, or registrations do you need to have for your business?

Until I started looking into the details of the business part of my business I had no idea what any of this was or why I should care. What I know now is that you need to devote some time and resources to making some powerful choices around the form your business takes.

A business is a legal entity. Even if you are the owner and sole employee there are choices you need to make that will affect your taxes, your legal protections, recordkeeping requirements, and ultimately your bottom line. Two great resources to get you started include Start Up Nation: “A Little Business Structure Goes A Long Way” and the book “LLC or Corporation? How to Choose the Right Form for Your Business” from Nolo Press.

The best advice I can give you is to do as much research as you can on your own and then enlist the professional help of an accountant and lawyer familiar with small businesses to give you definitive advice.

Working the Plan & Finding the Funding

Once you have a business and marketing plan it is time to start working it. Building a business is a distance run, not a sprint. The key is consistent action over time. If you were the type to cram and pull all-nighters for an exam in college, it is time to change your ways. While you may find yourself cramming at times, it should not and can not be your regular mode of operation or you and your business are likely to crash and burn.
Money makes the world go around. And, without funding you and your business are going nowhere. Depending on the type of business you are starting, you may find that you don’t need a ton of capital to get started. I recently wrote at length about “Preparing Financially to Go Solo” but I will touch on some of the key ways you can find the funds you need to get started.

If you need money you can:

• Borrow from your savings
• Use your credit cards (preferably a business account credit card)
• Borrow from friends, family, or other sources like prosper.com
• Get a loan from a bank
• Find a venture capitalist (but only if you have a BIG business idea expected to turn millions since VC’s aren’t interested in freelancers and your average small businesses)
• Be your own venture capitalist by starting your business on the side while you continue to work for someone else

There is no one right or wrong answer to how to fund your business. What I do know for sure, though, is that it always takes more money and more time to achieve what you want than what you initially project so be prepared. So many businesses fail just when they are on the cusp of turning the corner to success because they simply run out of money.

Creating Your Support Team

No successful person does it solo. It takes a team. I know I would still be sitting in my room procrastinating and going nowhere at all if it weren’t for my coaches (yes I am a coach, but always have my own coach) and other professional colleagues. While you must be willing to do what it takes to start your business, don’t be fooled into thinking you need to do everything. If someone can do it better than you consider hiring them. It’ll save you time and money in the long run.
People you may want to have on your team include:

• A life or business coach
• Accountant
• Lawyer
• Insurance agent
• Small business or marketing consulting
• Assistant
• Bookkeeper
• A mentor
• Webmaster/designer
• Graphic designer/artist
• Technology consultant
• Many others…

In the coach training I completed they often called your support team your “Team 100″. The theory being that you should have a list of 100 people that can support you in your life and business. If you’d like a free copy of this worksheet, contact me and ask for the “Team 100 Worksheet”.

Another resource that really helped me cover all the aspects of business building (from business entity to support team to marketing) was the “Overnight MBA” by Leah Grant. While it is geared toward coaches, the steps and exercises are fundamentally sound for any business (especially service professionals).

Getting Clients

Ah, the elusive clients. In a philosophical sense, if you don’t have any clients or customers (or at least prospects), do you even have a business or just a nice idea?

Sales and marketing (S&M) is not a dirty word. In fact it is crucial to your success. It is not about getting something, rather it is about building relationships. People buy from and work with people they know, like, and trust. All sales and marketing is about getting the right people (for your business) to say yes to you at the right time (for them).

Sales and marketing needs to be done in an authentic way if you want lasting success and don’t want to feel like a car salesman in a cheap suit. The cheap, phony route isn’t sustainable and certainly isn’t the path to living a life aligned with your personal integrity. Sales and marketing consultants are like bunny rabbits, they multiple in great numbers every day. If you hire one, make sure you’re hiring one who knows what they are doing and have a proven track record.

Some of the absolute best resources, methodologies, and people I have found out there include Andrea J. Lee, Get Clients Now from C.J. Hayden, Book Yourself Solid, and The Client Attraction System. Again, my perspective has been from a service based business, so you may find better resources out there dedicated solely to marketing products but the fundamentals of all these programs apply to whatever business you’re in.

Managing the Business (systems)

All successful businesses have systems in place whether the business consists of one person or thousands of franchises. In fact, that is what makes franchises so successful — the proven systems. When you buy a franchise you don’t just buy their product (the burgers, hoagies, water ice, etc.) and their brand, you buy their proven systems for running the business.

What is a system? It can be anything from the way you do a certain task to an actual piece of technology that enables a part of your business. The important element of a system is that it is repeatable and minimizes effort (is as automatic as possible). For example, an auto responder system is a piece of technology that automatically sends emails to your prospects without you having to intervene. You set up the email responses and list settings once, and all new people who sign up are handled automatically. This is a system for handling potential prospects.

Having the right systems in place will not only help you work your plans consistently, but also free up your time and energy so you can actually have a life too. Part of what I love about my business coach Heather Dominick is her focus on putting systems in place that work to bring you the results you want while also allowing you to live the life you want. There’s nothing worse than choosing to start a business because you don’t want the confinement of the corporate walls only to find out that you have created the worst prison you could ever imagine right within your own business. Having a jerk as a boss is much more painful when the jerk is YOU.

Ongoing Learning

If you were the type to toss your graduation cap and cheer because you don’t need to learn anymore, you definitely don’t want to start your own business. But, I know since you are a Queercents reader, that you thrive on learning new information, otherwise you wouldn’t have read this far! Investing in YOU pays dividends both personally and professionally.

When you are starting out, you want to invest your time and money in learning several types of things:

• Skills
• Business savvy and “soft skills”
• Personal development

To run a business you definitely need to do some skill building. Don’t be fooled that skills are the main event, though. You also need to fortify your business soft skills and personal development. Remember, your success will be determined more by WHO you are than WHAT you can do. I advocate becoming masterful at whatever skills needed to provide outstanding value to your customers. What I also know is that you need to balance the scales so you are a well-rounded person who can thrive in various environments and situations. That is what being an entrepreneur is all about — a hire wire juggling act of skills, relationships, personalities, and personal qualities.

Revisiting and Revising

When you plant a garden in the spring, you don’t just throw down some seed and ignore it for months and hope something grows. The same holds true for business. You need to tend to your business by working “on” your business strategically at regular intervals. Revisit your business and marketing plans at least several times a year. Revise your plans and financial projections regularly. Measure and monitor your activities and results. These are all part of the cycle of keeping your finger on the pulse of both what is currently happening with your business as well as staying in touch with what you really want and envision for the future.

Owning a business is hard work but can also be very rewarding. Your business is a living, breathing, and evolving part of your life. How you care for yourself will directly impact the success of your business. If you get stuck or start to feel stale, consider “Re-potting yourself” or at the very least creating some space so you can step back and get a fresh perspective and re-energize for the road ahead.
Now that you’ve started your business or landed the job, I’ll talk next time about making the most of it.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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As I said before, the resume’s sole purpose is to get you an interview. The interview is where you get to sell the potential employer on the benefits to them if they hire you. It is also your chance to get into their environment, have a look for yourself, and interview them.

Preparing for the interview phase is crucial. The devil is in the details. You need to be concerned about a myriad of things once you set the date and time of your interview:

• How do I get there (directions and travel)?
• What do I wear?
• What do I need to bring?
• What will be expected of me? (number of interviews, nature of the interview, any testing involved, etc.)
• How do I answer the questions they ask me?
• What questions should I ask them?
• What should I be looking for as I observe the environment and the people?
• How do I demonstrate knowledge of this potential employer?
• What do I do after the interview to follow up?

Now that I’ve probably thrown you into overwhelm, let me reassure you that the single most important thing you need to do in an interview is to be yourself (albeit a professional version of yourself and not the hanging out on a Friday night version, but authentically and genuinely YOU nonetheless). Why is that? Well, as someone who has tried to fake her way through an interview being what I thought they expected of me I can tell you the outcome of such fakery will be one of two things:

1) They see right through it and choose not to pursue you any further (which is a godsend oftentimes).

or

2) You land the job and suffer mercilessly like a drag queen in pumps 3 sizes too small.
Either way it’s a waste of time and energy.

Let me address each of these questions at least briefly.

How do I get there (directions and travel)?

Interviews are nerve wracking. Don’t add to your stress by winging it. Get clear on the directions, any detours, and other travel details. Most importantly, leave yourself extra time. It’s better to sit in your car with a magazine for 30 minutes than sweat it out on the freeway.

What do I wear?

Consider the type of position and dress code of the people in it. Dress as they dress plus a notch above. So, for instance, if it is business casual, still wear a suit to interview. And, wear something that flatters you and is unique to your style, but remember that while you want to be authentic, you don’t want to overdo it on the first impression.

What do I need to bring?

At a minimum, bring the same number of copies of your resume (printed so they look professional on high grade paper – we may live in a virtual society but interviews are still high-touch for the most part) to equal the number of people you are meeting. Add a few extras for good measure. Depending on the type of job you’re seeking you may need to bring additional items (for example: artists usually have a portfolio of their work with them). Don’t be a packrat, but demonstrate professionalism and preparedness.

What will be expected of me? (number of interviews, nature of the interview, any testing involved, etc.)

Find out as much as possible beforehand. Who are you meeting? How many different people are you meeting? How long will the meetings last? Are there any sorts of aptitude or other testing required?

How do I answer the questions they ask me?

Honestly, to the point, and in a way that demonstrates your value as an employee. You will be evaluated on what you say, how you say it, and how you can relate it to the job you’re applying for. There are some great resources on the web around acing the interview. Here’s a few to get you started: “Successful Interviews” and “A Guide to Successful Interviewing”.

Again, this interviewing is an area where it might pay to hire a career counselor, coach, or trusted friend known to be skilled in the interview process. Role-playing is great. I had a colleague who helped me prepare for an interview a few years back who was great. She asked me tough questions and really coached me on how to answer them in a way that is authentic and leaves a positive impression on the interviewer.

Different questions are aimed to measure different abilities of the prospective employee. Remember that it is expensive for a company to recruit and hire someone. And, any employer worth their mettle knows that it is better to hire the right person and train the skills later than it is to hire someone skilled in one specific thing that can’t function behaviorally. The exception to this might be something like brain surgeon, but even then patient and colleague interactions are almost as important.

To get prepared to answer questions you need to be ready for both the “Common Interview Questions” and the “Weird and Toughest Questions”.

Once you’ve thoroughly prepared, let it go. This isn’t a quiz nor will you receive a grade in the end. Do your best and keep the essence and intent of what is being asked (and what the interview wants to REALLY know) and answer appropriately.

What questions should I ask them?

You want to be prepared with a few questions that demonstrate your knowledge of the company as well as a few that will help you uncover more about the company culture and the hiring manager’s personal style.

Check out this site for a few good samples. One thing I would add to their advice is to ask some questions about the person interviewing you (if they are someone you will either work for or with). For example: tell me what you find most challenging and most rewarding about doing this work? What do you like most/least about this department/company/project? While people will only answer so honestly during an interview, it does give you some sense of what is on their minds. And, if you interview with multiple people you can detect trends.

What should I be looking for as I observe the environment and the people?

You can learn a lot about what is written between the lines by watching others. What are people wearing? Do they look harried or calm? Are they upbeat or somber? Do they look energetic or like they could fall over tomorrow from lack of sleep? What are they wearing? What does the work environment look like? Do people say hello and act friendly? Consider yourself like a private detective trying to solve a crime, be very observant.

How do I demonstrate knowledge of this potential employer?

While you want to demonstrate that you know something about the company and their industry, you don’t want to go overboard. Don’t stump the interviewer. I did that once by asking about something from a recent news article and how that was going to impact his department. He was speechless. I’m still not sure whether that was a positive or negative.

To prepare, do a little reading. Check out the company’s website, do a Google search to find out recent news, and read the local paper. Don’t go wild, but do enough to have a sense of what is going on at the company and what some of its challenges are.

What do I do after the interview to follow up?

First of all, thank you cards are a must. Thank them for your time, reiterate your interest in the position, and restate something that you discussed. You should have asked them what their timing was for decision-making in the interview so you should have a sense of what the next steps are and when they will happen. Keep in mind that oftentimes those timelines slip, so don’t take them too literally. Yet, feel free to follow up with a phone call if you haven’t heard anything. I know I had great success at a previous job when I called to follow up. It gave me a chance to reiterate why I was the right person for the job and it demonstrated my proactive nature.

Receiving the Offer or Rejection

If you receive a rejection (these days sometimes you never hear another word), don’t take it personally. Unless you are experiencing a pattern of seemingly positive interviews followed by a rejection, it is best to just let it go and move on. If you are experiencing a trend, it is time to definitely hire a career professional to help you deconstruct what is going on. It could be something as minor as how you answer certain questions that are holding you back. Or, it could be that you’re marching down the entirely wrong career path and the world is trying to save you heartache. Either way, it helps to work with a coach or counselor to get to the root of the issue.

If you receive an offer — congratulations! You stood out from the crowd! You’re not home free, yet though because now it is time to talk details. All those conversations that you couldn’t have before — about benefits, vacation, salary, etc. are now priority one.

First things first – express your gratitude at receiving this opportunity and express how excited you are to come and work there. Then, gather all the details you possibly can about the position and ask for a chance to consider them in detail, letting them know you’ll do it quickly and get back to them with any questions. Set a date and expectations to touch base again but realize that it pays to sleep on all major decisions.

This is where negotiating comes in.

Negotiating

Unless everything is perfect, more exciting than you could ever imagine, with the offer, you will likely find yourself negotiating. Even if it is a fair offer, negotiating is important to maximize your end of the bargain. I wrote about the major impact negotiating can have on your financial life in “How to Ask for More Money”. The numbers will make you stagger.

I have never been one comfortable with negotiating. In fact, the last job I accepted, I was unhappy with the vacation package. It was a step down for me and I was NOT happy. I asked some questions, but ultimately was told “no” with some nebulous excuse. I was advised by a friend to accept the job and then negotiate later once I was in the door. WRONG ANSWER. While you can be successful negotiating once you’re in the door, my vote is to do it up front. Take the time to have meaningful negotiations before you seal the deal. If it seems more appropriate to prove yourself for a few months first, that is fine – set an agreement (in writing) up front that you will reconvene in 3 or 6 months to reopen the discussion. I encourage you to stay strong & get the courage to ask for what you want.

That being said don’t be an ass. If you come to the table being inflexible or uncharacteristically demanding it ends up being a lose-lose for everyone. Remember you always have the power to say “no” to the job offer if you carefully consider the details and determine that it isn’t the right fit for you.

The book “Getting to Yes” is a great guide to win-win negotiating. I listened to the audio book quite a while ago. The point of the book is that negotiating isn’t a battle. It is a conversation in which both parties benefit. If you approach the conversation with the attitude of how can we all benefit, it not only becomes much more productive but also more likely that everyone walks away with what they want.

What if you’d rather eat snails that work for someone else? Stay tuned because in the next part in this series I am going to talk about starting your own business. There is more than one way to earn a living.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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As I see it, once you’re clear on what you want, the process breaks down as follows:

1) Research possible employers
2) Prepare your resume
3) Find and apply for potential positions
4) Interview
5) Receive offer/rejection
6) Negotiate

Wrapped around the entire cycle is the process of networking and connecting with others whether online or offline.

I’m not about to tackle this job search process in great detail. People have written volumes on each of these topics. What I will do, however is bring to your attention key points and resources that, based on my experience and research are critical to your success.

The all-time job resource is the book “What Color is Your Parachute” by Richard Nelson Bolles. For years I resisted buying this book, but I must say that it takes a pretty holistic and realistic approach to job hunting. It is well worth your time. It covers all the steps in the job search process and is the perfect companion to any job hunt or career change.

Research Possible Employers

Where might you want to work and why? The first step is to get an idea of what employers exist in your geographical location. If you’re willing to relocate for the right position, consider what area(s) you are willing to relocate to and research those locales as well. While it’s not worth the time to become an expert on every company in your geography, it does pay to put your finger on the pulse of what companies are nearby and the details about those companies. How large/small are they? Where are they located? How many employees work at that location? What industries are prevalent in your area?

Depending on the nature of what you’re looking for, you will either limit your search to a subset of the local companies or expand your search far and wide. For instance, if you know you only want to work in one or two industries, you can limit your search right there. If, however, you know you want a position doing “XYZ” then the type of company doesn’t matter, you can expand your search as you see fit.

While I am one for relying on the Internet for just about everything, this is one of those times that it pays to tap the local library. There is a wealth of information in your local library as well as your county’s information office. You can find information on publicly traded companies in publications like Moody’s or Dun & Bradstreet. The local publications geared toward people moving to the area are a goldmine of information. There is typically a section on the area’s major employers as well as local businesses. This information is great for those job hunting.

As I said earlier, the idea of networking wraps around the whole process. When it comes to research, talk to people. Talk to friends, neighbors, acquaintances, people in the store, recruiters, people at social and business networking meetings, you name it. Not only can you find out insider information on what it is like to work at different companies but you also can find great contacts and job leads. Use this information to pursue informational interviews with people who work where you want to work so you can learn more about the specific jobs and companies that interest you.

I can’t stress enough the power of the informational interview. An informational interview is a short appointment with someone who either works at a company or in a profession you are interested in. You basically sit down with the person for no more than 30 minutes and interview them about their job. Most people will happily share information with you. The key is to remain professional, flexible, courteous, and mindful of taking up as little of their time as possible. If someone declines to have an informational interview with you simply thank them, don’t take it personally, and move on.

Prepare Your Resume

The resume is synonymous with the job hunt. However, it is not the be-all end-all of the process. It is simply a tool that, if done well, will get you an interview. Rarely will a resume get you a job. Think of it as a page or two of paper meant to entice someone to learn more about you (that is, invite you to interview for the job).

My biggest lessons learned with resumes are 1) Do your homework on what works and what doesn’t and 2) Don’t agonize over it forever; Create a working version and move forward with it. You can always tweak it later.

The most important points to remember when building your resume are that:

• Details matter (no typos, misspellings, etc.)
• Formatting is important
• Brevity is rewarded
• Focus on the benefits to the company when writing your accomplishments (i.e., no one cares that you are a genius Java programmer – what did the project you work on do for the company/customer in terms of saving time/money, creating efficiencies, or increasing revenue?)

Resume writers and consultants are like bunny rabbits. They are everywhere and seem to multiply everyday. However, I do recommend finding someone in the know about the current job market and resume practices to help you. As with hiring any professional, do your due diligence. If you are a do it yourself type, sites like Pongo Resume or The Resume Builder could do the trick. Otherwise, check out resources like Career Journal or About.com to educate yourself. One blog I am particularly fond of is Blue Sky Resumes which offers a lot of great tips and resources.

Once you have a resume, remember to keep it up to date. As someone who has ignored it for years and then suddenly needed one, I can tell you it pays to update it at least yearly. Then, you are always ready to roll if the need arises.

Find and Apply for Potential Positions

Once you have an idea of where you’d like to work and you have a resume to throw your hat in the ring, it is time to find a ring in which to throw it! As I mentioned earlier, networking is the #1 way to find out about job opportunities. Not only do you sometimes get the inside information, but you also have a connection on the inside that can offer up a good word for you. It is less risky for a company to hire someone who comes recommended to them than it is to hire blindly. That is why many companies offer a referral bonus for employees who refer new people.

In the old days, the newspaper classifieds were the #1 thing to review. While there are still some great job sections in the papers, the online world has become the new wild west of job openings. There are millions of sites with job listings. Individual companies post their career opportunities as do industry-specific job sites. Some of the bigger sites are Monster and Yahoo Jobs. The Riley Guide offers a long list of job directories on their site. You may also want to consider things like Career Fairs or Trade Shows and working with a recruiter.

The most important thing to remember is that recruiters work for the companies that hired them, not you. Much like a seller broker in real estate is more interested in selling the property than helping out the buyer, the same holds true for recruiters. It is just one technique to use within your overall job search. And, just like buying a house, don’t let anyone pressure you into tight deadlines to make decisions. You need to feel right about how any position you take.

If you’re looking for LGBT specific or LGBT friendly jobs, consider exploring sites like GayJob.biz, the NALGBTCC Jobs Board, and the HRC Workplace Links.

If this seems a bit overwhelming, that is because it is! Searching for a job can feel like a full time job (and if you’re unemployed plan on structuring your search like a job with set hours and tasks). Yet, due diligence and consistent action is what yields results. In Part II of “Landing the Job” I will cover the next 3 steps in the process: interviewing, receiving the offer/rejection, and negotiating.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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The way the process works for most people is that they discover they have a skill and then they build their career around it. For instance, you find that you’re very good at math and numbers in high school. You’re not really sure what you’re passionate about, but you know you excel with this skill. So, you find yourself in college and are faced with having to declare a major course of study. Again, you’re still not sure what options are REALLY out there and your passions are not yet clear. After all, even if you procrastinate, you’re still forced to declare a major by the time you’re in your late teens or early 20’s. You know you’ve always been good at math and it seems like an employable skill, so you opt for a numbers based degree (math, accounting, finance, engineering, etc.). In this example you are SKILLED at math.

Take another example. You are absolutely passionate about science. You are cuckoo for biology. All your spare time is spent doing science type things. You may or may not be actually skilled in science, but it makes your heart beat faster. In this example you are PASSIONATE about science.

The difference between skills and passion is often ignored until you find yourself in a job you could be good at but are totally bored to tears with and you wonder what happened to passion. Or, you absolutely love what you do but either aren’t very talented at it or find you can’t earn the living you desire doing it.

The key is looking at skills and passion as an equation. Consider the following chart:

In an ideal career, you find yourself in Quadrant 1 where you’re not only passionate about what you do, you’re damn good at it. This is where you have the most potential for success because your heart AND your talent is at its peak.

Many people find themselves in Quadrant 3 where you’re skilled at something, but your heart couldn’t be less interested. You find yourself living a daily grind filled with frustration or boredom. While you may experience some success in this scenario, you will always be held back by your lack of interest and passion. The only real exception to this is if you consciously choose to have just a “job” in this Quadrant so you can fuel your passions elsewhere.

In Quadrant 2 you find yourself passionate about what you’re doing, but not particularly skilled at it. Again, you may have some success because you are inspired, hard working, and really engaged. However, your lack of skill holds you back. If you can improve your skills (which may or may not be possible) you could start the movement toward the Quadrant 1 ideal. Or, you may find at some point that the activity makes a great part-time endeavor or hobby, but your lack of skill leaves you at a dead end.

Quadrant 4 is the career from hell. You not only don’t care one bit about what you’re doing, you’re not good at it either. It results in utter misery and sets you up for failure. Inevitably your attitude and/or incompetence will get the best of you.

Ask yourself the following questions:

• If you are currently in a career, what quadrant does it fall in?
• Where do you want to be in terms of your career?
• What adjustments might you need to make to shift into the quadrant you most desire?

As promised, Part 5 will start to delve into how to land the best job for you.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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Now that you’ve discovered your values you should be starting to get a sense of what is important to you in terms of your life plan and your career plan. As I’ve shared before it is crucial to have these be in alignment. Otherwise you’re faced with a lifetime of miserable Mondays and the prospect of finding a way to numb the pain of a daily existence that makes you truly unhappy.

When it comes to finding the right fit for your career you need to not only take into account your values but also your preferences. This is where getting to know yourself intimately pays dividends. You learn at the core: who you are, what you want, and what you truly do not want from your days on the planet. This relates to your work life in terms of a number of factors. Consider these aspects of a typical career and ask yourself — if I am to feel alive and thrive in my career, how would I answer the following questions?

• Do I want to work for someone else or for myself?
• What type of employer would I like to work for? (For profit, non-profit, academic, government, start-up, etc.)
• How large or small of a company would I like to work for?
• Am I a strong, self-directed person or do I like a lot of direction?
• Do I love to lead or prefer to follow?
• What type of work culture do I enjoy? (Conservative, cutting edge, open, hip, old school) How do people treat one another and how well do they walk their talk?
• How supportive is my employer of my sexual orientation? Do they have policies in place? Do they walk their talk?
• What type of physical environment do I work best in? (Albeit, I’ve yet to find a soul who loves a cubicle, there are many who feel right at home there/)
• What skills and talents do you want to use in your job? Do you prefer mental or physical work? Like working with your hands or on a computer? Love to interact with people or prefer solitude? Teams or independent projects?
• What industry might I want to work in? (Retail, electronics, pharmaceuticals, health care, software, etc.)

As you answer these questions keep on writing about what your ideal situation looks like. Tap into the feelings behind why you answer the way you do. How strongly do you feel about your answers? For instance, you might absolutely feel 100% strongly that you want to work with people yet the industry you work in doesn’t matter quite as much. Take note of this so you can dissect your answers to arrive at a list of attributes for the career you most desire. On this list consider having 3 categories:

• “Must Have’s” = the non-negotiable attributes
• “Like-to-have’s” = items that you are willing to negotiate or at least have intermittently throughout your career
• “Neutral” = you really don’t have a preference

As you make this list, do not shortchange, second guess yourself, or start making compromises. I can tell you now that your mind will try to rationalize your heart’s wishes to fit some preconceived belief you have about how things “have to be”. Or, how “reality” works. As someone who has spent much of her adult life feeling like a square peg being hammered into a round hole I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to honor the answers your insides are telling you in this exercise. If you try to fake it you will make your life a living hell. That doesn’t mean you won’t ever work in a less than ideal career (I’m not smoking something funky here when I write these posts), but you need to be conscious of what your real needs, values, and preferences are if you want to have success on your own terms and design a life you love over the long haul. Think I am being overly dramatic?

Consider this recent article by Pam Slim over at Escape From Cubicle Nation called “I have a “great job,” lots of money, responsibility and respect. Why aren’t I happy?” As I read this I almost wondered if Pam were writing about me (as it relates to my corporate job which I am working to transition out of). I remember having the same epiphany – “What a relief! Now I know why my day jobs have never been a fit and it’s not because there’s something wrong with me!” when I was training as an Integrative Coach with Debbie Ford. Pam likens the wrong job to being forced to wear the wrong sized shoes. For instance if you wear a comfy size 8 shoe and then try to spend your life wearing only size 6 ultra-narrow stiff pumps. It’s painful and ugly. She goes on to ask the million dollar question:

So why in the world do we try to jam our foot into an unattractive, uncomfortable shoe, otherwise known as our day job?

Because our social self (shaped by family, educational institutions, the media, religion) is so strong that we believe that our “great job at an investment bank where I have an outstanding reputation, many years experience and an amazing salary” should make us happy. Even if we know that it is in direct contrast to the picture of our ideal life!

Indeed! We try to rationalize our way into a belief that we “should” be happy because, after all, look how wonderful things appear on the outside. To me it is like the futile silly statements we hear as a kid “eat your peas because people in the third world are starving”. Did that statement ever make you feel better about peas? Did it help even a single soul in the third world feel satiated? I don’t think so. The same holds true for careers that you ‘think’ should be a fit but yet feel like hell.

The Ways to Make Money are Endless

We often get fooled into thinking that there is only one way to earn a living. At least for me, having had only role models of people who worked hard for others and traded time for money, it took me until just a few years ago to realize there really are other ways to earn a living. While I won’t fool you, you still need to invest time, expertise, and hard work, it shouldn’t feel like drudgery. Even if you decided back in Part 2 of this series that you didn’t want a career and only wanted a job, you still shouldn’t settle for being unhappy ever day.

If you Google the phrase “ways to make money” you get over 45 Million results. While I bet a lot of them are get rich quick scams, my guess is there are still millions of ways you can earn a living. In fact, so many people now desire to do a variety of careers all at once; the term portfolio career was born. A portfolio career is one in which you work at multiple careers at the same time (all part-time) and they combine to make one full-time career (and revenue stream). Just off the top of my head I can think of the following ways to earn money:

• Work full-time or part-time for a company
• Freelance
• Own your own business
• Sell products (online or off)
• Sell services (online or off)
• Turn a hobby into an income stream
• Invest your money (real-estate, financial investing, etc.)
• Creative/artistic pursuits

These are only broad categories. Within these there are tons of different combinations and possibilities. Just think of the sheer number of different types of business you could own (solo, small, multi-level marketing, franchise) and then the possibilities beneath that. It could go on and on. My point being — don’t fool yourself into thinking it has to look a certain way based only on what you’ve seen to date or seen modeled for you by friends or family.

So, get started making that list what type of career you really want. If it doesn’t match up with what you have now, don’t sweat it — awareness is the first step toward changing things for the better. Next time I’ll be talking about how to get that job you really want.

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com .

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