Queercents

I’ve succumbed to the recession. I had a sign on a corkboard in my office for seven months that said “I will not participate in the recession” and I just took it down. I finally have admitted to my little femme-housewife-wannabe self that the recession has affected my wife and I in these ways:

1. Less income for both of us.
2. Can’t sell the little house, so we can’t buy a bigger one- which means…
3. Have to put our baby plans on hold which is also because we can’t afford sperm! (more on sperm in my next  blog).
4.   Can’t afford a two-seater kayak for summer fun. Not even a used one.

My optimism, however, got me through our gorgeous wedding this month, that although decidedly frugal has left us with a little bit of debt which makes our skin crawl and makes us even further aware of the recession. My optimism about finances and the economy meant that I didn’t drive myself crazy with worry all the way through wedding planning, I didn’t skimp on any of the details which were important to us, and those are memories that last a lifetime. Read the rest of this entry »

Oh my dear femmes, and the femme-curious: What makes a femme? I’ve been writing this column trying to say a lot of things about class politics and eco-feminism through the lens of being a femme, but there are many other queer femmes out there who have been writing beautiful and challenging things and here is your chance to read them,  in the Femmethology Volumes!

According to Sassafras Lowrey in “Can you See Me Now”:

“I have also been disappointed in the femme spaces I have been in where there exists an unspoken link among materialism, consumerism and femmeness. As a femme with few financial resources and anti–capitalist politics, that link bothers me. Of course, I love cute dresses and heels as much as the next femme, but I don’t think that my femmeness can be proven by how many Prada bags I own or how much my outfit costs. The idea that femme identity can be bought alienates poor and working-class femmes and people who see capitalism as one of the main roots of oppression in the U.S. and around the world. When femmes buy into the idea that is sold to us in the mainstream media and U.S. consumer society that femininity is something that is quite expensive and must be bought, are we really subverting the sexist and heteronormative ideals of femininity?”

And according to Maria See in “Outfit Separates”: Read the rest of this entry »

Last week, I cut off seven inches of my hair and my partner cut hers butch-shorter than I’d ever seen on her. We shocked one another- and neither of us are used to it yet, but we both had a strong urge that “it had to be done”. And then the other day I was watching a news segment on how haircuts get shorter for men in the recession as they strive to look more clean-cut to land (or keep) that scarce job. I began to wonder if the same was true for women.

I thought I was personally just tired of finding random bits of fuzz and food in my long femme mane, but maybe there was something economically subconscious going on.

As the stock market fell in ’29 and a depression fell over our nation, women’s haircuts got very short (and men’s even shorter) and their skirts got longer- though more sleek with less fabric.

I happened to have asked my stylist who works mostly with women how business was doing in the recession. She noticed that business was wonderfully steady, noting that a “freshening” haircut would not be something women were not willing to give up in hard financial times. We all know haircuts give us a confidence boost, and these days that’s something most of us could really use. Read the rest of this entry »

Well, you asked for it: More On Fashion! Last time on Femme Economics I talked about Butch-Femme spending on clothes. Before that I even talked about “Splurges That Make Sense”. And then the stock market crashed.  I know, mostly we’re hiding our cash under our mattresses, hiding our credit cards from ourselves and making the most of what we already own. I have been buying absolutely nothing. But, I have a new personal “economic stimulus plan”.

If Obama wins, I get to celebrate by buying myself one item of new clothing or shoes and have a $50 thrift shopping spree. If you want to join in this plan with me, here are some suggestions of femme (and not so femme!)  “timeless” things I think you should have:

1.  A Grandma Cardigan. In cable knit with large buttons or a lighter one with pearl buttons and an appliqué. Warm and cozy for the cold and can be worn with jeans, skirts, and over dresses.   Femme boys go for the “Grandpa Cardigan” which is totally stylish, easy to find at a thrift store and just about as postmodern-hip as it gets. About $10-15 at your local thrift store.

2. Black Cotton Leggings. I have about 5 pair; I heard designer Vera Wang has twenty pair, maybe you only need one. They can be worn with a long sweater. Under your summer dress or skirt with a sweater on top. Under pants on very cold days. Or pajama bottoms in a pinch. $25 from Danskin are the best quality. If you’re lucky you can find barely used ones at a thrift or consignment for $5. Read the rest of this entry »

It seems Femme Economics is here these days to serve a new purpose: keep things light, fun and personal while national economics take keep on diving.

When I started to write for my upcoming E-book, Beauty for Feminists, I was so concerned with all of the products and fashion sold to feminine women that I started to pay very close attention to my own beauty spending and that of other women round me. So, do you think the girly-girls are the part of the butch-femme couple that spends too much on looking good? A fairly androgynous friend told me yesterday, in jest, that femmes are the reason for the credit crisis. I was not amused. My butch lady lover calls me “HM” for High Maintenance, but I have come to realize that she’s either kidding herself or just talking about my emotional life.

CLOTHING, ETC
My butch works very hard long hours in an office building downtown. She winds up spending more on clothing than I do because she doesn’t have the time to go thrift and consignment shopping, nor does she have the inclination. Read the rest of this entry »

I recently talked about how pedicures don’t seem worth it to me these days and actually, most things don’t, especially when it comes to beauty. In fact mostly I try to tell you not to buy anything and at least nothing that’s not already used. But that’s so un-fun of me, so I’m here to tell you my favorite things that you probably can’t get used and some services that are really worth it. So this time at Femme Economics, I’m here to assuage your financial guilt.

Multi-blade Razors: I definitely want to go back to being hippy hairy when I see the prices on my replacement blades, but every time I use a cheaper razor on vacation, I my cut legs and then get razor bumps on my armpits. I hear they just came out with a five-blader. I swear, it just keeps getting better. Try the men’s versions, though, as they are generally just a tad cheaper (imagine that!). Or…

Sugaring Hair Removal. This is the first time I’m talking about sugaring in femme economics. I was skeptical; so much that it took me a year of thinking about it to try it. Where I live, it is often the same price as waxing and sometimes cheaper, but I assumed it was too expensive. It goes with the direction of the hair growth so it hurts less, breaks the hair off less, gives you less razor bumps and for me has caused so many fewer hairs to grow back than with waxing. Also, I don’t walk around with wax sticking my thighs together afterwards. I’d love to sugar my whole body, but at least for the bikini line this is the more self-loving answer. Read the rest of this entry »

Even my butch sweetheart loves a good pedicure. With all of the problems with chemicals in cosmetics, and especially nail polish, I have been looking for a good nail salon that was more green or organic. They exist, but it’s so hard to find an appointment. Two months ago I did make an appointment at a place where the only thing different in my treatment was the house-made non-toxic polish. No luxuries. This pedicure cost me $90 by the time gratuity and tax was added!

So last month I decided to go to the closest cheap nail parlor and just not let them put their stinky chemical-laden polish on me. I asked for a buff instead, figuring my toes could use a break. Well, the woman kept asking if I was sure I didn’t want polish and when I lifted a magazine to read, which blocked my feet from my view- she threw on a coat of clear polish anyway-lickity split! I didn’t notice until I left.

There are other problems for me with going out and getting a pedicure. Traditional salons are full of floating carcinogenic and lung-irritating pollutants which cause asthma, more serious lung disorders, and brain cell loss for the woman who work in the shops all day long exposed to nail polish remover, polish, nail adhesives and acrylic. Some of this exposure has been linked to birth defects. The woman doing nails next to me at my last experience was about seven months pregnant. Read the rest of this entry »

I’m happy to announce that my sweetheart Karolyn and I got engaged a couple months ago. It’s amazing to think that just a few years ago I almost married the wrong girl (How To Undo a Wedding). I’m looking forward to finally being a bride next spring and planning as quickly as I can just so I don’t have it looming over my head. But now there are a lot of pressures to be the perfect feminine bride, to use this once-in-a-lifetime chance to flaunt my femininity to its max from the dress to the decor. And although I almost hired an expensive gay male wedding planning duo (fabulous, right!), I thought again.

After the first week of dreaming after the engagement and reading a few magazines, it finally set in that weddings wreak havoc on your bank account and the planet. I finally woke up and said to myself “Your version of femininity has always been more creative than traditional. Shouldn’t this day reflect the real you?” And then after another visit to gluttonous New York together, I remembered that she and I share the same values which include hoping to save a planet our children can live on.

Nina let you in on some larger ways to lessen the financial burden of the big day which made me want to write about some of ways we’ve chosen to save money and the environment:

Invitations: All Online. Save-the-Date cards, Invitations and entire website dedicated to event information is $99/year at WedShare. (A fourth of the price of the cheapest decent package.) Zero paper waste. Zero postage. And I designed them on my own which makes me feel super crafty.

Read the rest of this entry »

Ever wondered why a tiny jar of eye cream is so expensive? I wondered that too and I’ve been doing educated ingredient comparisons for a couple of years now to try and figure out what it is we’re paying for. It seems many women (and some pretty men, of course) are willing to spend anything for a the psychological benefits of feeling like they’ve done everything they can to try and diminish their crow’s feet.

Re-vive Intensite Volumizing Serum ($600 for 1.0 oz) has a “Naturally occurring protein molecule that halts DNA fragmentation.” La Prairie Cellular Radiance Eye Cream ($275 for 0.5 oz) “A multi-complex formula of time-correcting restorative therapy.” Sisley’s Sisleya Eye Cream ($190 for 0.5 oz)

Though I have not compared ingredients on these high-end creams myself, the fact that not one of these “miracles” has been on the front page of the Times should tell you that they really are nothing special in the ‘fight against wrinkles’. Read the rest of this entry »

At first glance, you may have thought this post was a frugal feminist protest of bras. I can’t do that because I’m a rather pendulous DD cup and if I burned my bras, my breasts would touch the ground in just a few years and that would make it hard to walk.

Instead, I’m here to discuss the cost benefits of breast-feeding for lesbians. This is sometimes a hard topic, as you can see when in 2005, Rosie O’Donnell said to a national audience that she was so jealous of her partner’s breast-feeding their child that she made her stop. Now, Rosie doesn’t have to worry about the cost of formula, but I have known quite a few lesbian couples who opted for formula-feeding only so that both moms had the same bonding experience with the baby. Breast-feeding can be hard skill for some women to learn, but formula is expensive. With formula between twenty to fifty cents to a dollar an ounce and at least 24 ounces a day, It’s amazing the other baby items you could afford in your child’s first year if you don’t use formula. Read the rest of this entry »