Queercents

Awhile back, Gretchen Rubin, projector of all things happy, listed 8 tips for how money can buy happiness. The entire list is a worthy read, but I wanted to emphasize number two and her suggestion that couples should use money to:

End marital conflict. If you’re constantly arguing about the unkempt lawn, or the moldering laundry, see if you can throw some money at the problem. Can you hire the teenager down the street to clean out the garage?

Better yet, can you hire a cleaning service to clean the entire house? You betcha. In an effort to save money a couple of years ago, we canceled our cleaners. Of course, this experiment lasted about 2 minutes before we started bickering about who was going to clean the toilets that weekend. We just couldn’t make what should be a simple act of frugality work.

I remember when I wrote about it, My Open Wallet left this comment, “I think for a couple, housekeeping can be an issue that is worth resolving via outside help– either a cleaning lady or a therapist!” Read the rest of this entry »

Believe it or not, it’s harder for same-sex couples to get health benefits from the Federal government than it is from Dow Chemical. Tammy Baldwin, the only out lesbian in the House of Representatives, is trying to change that with H.R. 2517, also known as The Domestic Partnership Benefits and Obligations Act of 2009. A similar bill, S. 1102, was put forward in the Senate by Independent Sen. Joseph Lieberman from Connecticut.

Baldwin introduced the bill May 20 and on June 29, the Subcommittee on Federal Workforce, Post Office and the District of Columbia voted 5-3 to send the bill to the full committee. That’s a major achievement but there’s still a lot of work to be done.

Some interesting moments came out during testimony for the bill’s passage. John Berry, director of the U.S. Office of Personnel Management, also testified at the hearing. Berry, who is the highest openly gay official in the government, said the Obama administration is 100% behind the bill’s passage. “I personally stand to benefit from this legislation, as my partner of 13 years will be eligible to enjoy the benefits of this legislation, if enacted.”

Berry added: “At my confirmation hearing, I said that two of my primary goals as the Director of OPM would be to make the Federal Government the country’s model employer and to attract the best and the brightest Americans to Federal service. The passage of H.R. 2517 is essential to the accomplishment of both of these goals.” Read the rest of this entry »

Tamara’s series about Dating on a Budget has really given me some great ideas for keeping the romance alive, even though my partner and I are already committed. Just because you tie the knot doesn’t mean that the romance has to die. And romance doesn’t have to be expensive, either. Anna at Lesbian Lush has some ideas for cheap romantic gestures. For example:

Buy 5 flattering colors of nail polish and put them in a cute little gift bag . . . Buy a pound or two of gourmet coffee blends or tins of tea . . . Get her a comfy pair to wear around the house. Your place or hers.

There’s lots of other great dating advice on the site, like tips for asking that hottie out on a date, what to do if you’re dating a vegan, and suggestions for turning up the romance meter by sending a sexy (but appropriate) text message.

Romance is great, and I do love a cheap date night. But all that romance is crap if it doesn’t lead to getting some ass, in my opinion. A few weeks ago I posted some ideas for DIY sex toys, and lately I’ve been brainstorming even more ideas for keep the passion sizzlin’ without busting open the piggy bank to do it. Read the rest of this entry »

After traveling for a month, I was definitely in need of a free date with my honey. I wanted to save cash but still have a lot of fun.  Spending up to $10.00 did cross our mind for dinner out; but we discarded that idea and went with the no money concept.

First, we walked to the Theatre Art Galleries.  It was approximately 2.5 miles – one way and took less than 30 minutes.  Admission is free. The 3 galleries are actually located within the community theatre.  They also feature a youth gallery and often have guest lecturers. 

As I took in the eclectic pieces, in Gallery A, a new appreciation for the city I call home awakened inside.  I decided to venture up to the second floor. Gallery B was closed, but the halls were littered with magnificent pieces of artwork. 

Then, the youth gallery called my name.  I immediately sat down at the “Creation Station” and tried to figure out how to draw myself.  The mirror supplied for self portraits was definitely for a child much smaller and younger than myself.  But it didn’t matter.  I still tried, in vain, to develop my profile. The most interesting thing I found out during this adventure is one of my eyes is more of a round shape, while the other is more oval. In all of my years of living,  I never noticed it before.  I really had a lot of fun!

I encourage parents to check out your area to see if these types of galleries exist for your little ones. Often times they offer free family nights or discounts on certain days. Remember, a babysitter is not always required for an evening out.

We enjoyed ourselves so much that we plan on volunteering with the theatre.  I am sure our next absolutely free date will involve ushering someone to their seat before we take in the show. 

Photo Credit: Stock. Xchng

Looking for a way to add a little spice to your relationship without going broke? Homemade sex toys can really add some spark to your sex life, and it’s simple to convert everyday household items into something a little kinky.

Scarves and neck ties
Silk scarves and neck ties can be used as blindfolds, and you can even restrain someone around the wrists and ankles. Just make sure that your knots aren’t too tight and you’re in business.

Ice cubes
These are practically free. They’re great for hot summer sex. And if you use ice cubes in conjunction with a blindfold you’re really in business. If you really want to make the ice cubes special, you could hit up the dollar or the party store to find cheap ice trays in cute shapes, like lips and hearts. I know I’ve seen them at Ikea, too.

Wooden Spoons
You can convert a simple wooden spoon into a paddle. Keep it in your goody drawer in the bedroom so that you’re not mixing business with pleasure. Read the rest of this entry »

I have been in Florida since the 3rd of July. Let me tell all of you long distance lovers, I can now empathize with you. When I happened upon a new park, store, or restaurant I longed for my honey to be nearby. I couldn’t turn to my left and say, “Hey look at the great deal on these shoes!” (They were $7.99 in a boutique in Hollywood Beach, FL) That was the hard part. How do you do it?

Although not my preferred method of communicaition, I must eat my words and say that text and instant messages have become my friend. Although my fingers and wrists don’t like it one bit, the technology is useful for keeping my telephone budget under control.

Since this was a short-term separation, we chose to get pre-paid cellular phones. We purchased Virgin Mobile phones for $14.99 and chose the Unlimited Texter’s Delight Plan for $19.99 the entire month. Because I am a talker and really don’t know when to put the phone down we chose this method. If I had a plan, I am sure I would have talked up those minutes very quickly. I will see her again in a few days so there was no need to go out and get a 2-year contract on a cell phone plan.

To sustain my sanity, we did play a few online games of Gin Rummy. You can actually choose your own table and password protect it so that only you and your honey can be in the room. That was a lot of fun. I lost many of those games. Hmmm, maybe that’s why we stopped playing. Read the rest of this entry »

My partner and I are about ten months away from getting married, so the hardcore budgeting process is underway. I tend to be the hater of spreadsheets and anything formal in our relationship, so this whole process is new to me; I’ve never planned such a big event before. Complicating things, is that I’ve never been to a gay wedding, and thus have no friends to ask questions to about expenses. Still, my partner and I have no choice but to move forward with the process, which has revealed somepro’s and con’s to me about being a same-sex couple planning our special day.

We’ll start with the con’s since I’m sure readers will want a happy ending: this is about a wedding, after all. The first big bummer for me was to find out from my parents that they weren’t necessarily going to help out, since this isn’t a “traditional” wedding. After a couple of conversations and just giving it some time, they came around. But still, there was no assumption on their part that their gay son taking another man’s hand in marriage requires their financial support. This wasn’t a question when my oldest sister got married. When that happened, my mother went into high gear, basically becoming thebridezilla that my sister didn’t have in her. So it has been a bit harder to get the parents involved in my celebration, even if it’s just to ask them suggestions on venues or guests to invite. Some people would consider this a blessing, and I’m not saying I want my parents planning my wedding, but there is definitely a more hand’s off approach when it comes to same-sex ceremonies. Read the rest of this entry »

Life can sometimes be really stressful. However, dating doesn’t have to be. Consider taking a little rendezvous at a luscious spa retreat.  Is this endeavor too rich for your blood? Then a local day spa may do the trick.  Some nail shops even offer massages along with the manicures and pedicures.

To get the best treatment for your money, do a little research. Call ahead of time to determine services available, cost, and reservation requirements.  If you want to make the experience a little more intimate, consider trying this recipe for an indulgent evening at home.

APHRODISIAC BATH BLEND
Whip up an Aphrodisiac Bath Blend to relax the mind, while the properties of the essential oils stimulate sexuality and euphoria. Read the rest of this entry »

The Fourth of July weekend is the easiest weekend to be downright cheap on a date. As cities across the country plan festivities, most of them are also eating the cost.

Parades, revolution re-enactments, festivals, musical entertainment, and the fireworks lend themselves to the best thrifty dates. Even if there is an entrance fee-it’s probably minimal.  However, you will need to be cautious about the events you attend. The funnel cake, candy apples, beer gardens, and cute trinkets sold by those adorable vendors can blow your budget out of the water!

Don’t be afraid to BYOE; bring your own everything! Drinks, good eats for a picnic, chairs, and blankets set the stage for a wonderful day.  Consider bringing playing cards, bubbles, or board games to help pass the time if you arrive early at the fireworks staging area.  Read the rest of this entry »

It’s summer in New York and it’s that time of year when there are tons of moving vans, empty boxes and perfectly fine furniture taking up space on city streets. There’s always a lot of advice on how to find an apartment in the Big Apple, but little advice on how to leave that apartment. One of the biggest questions that comes up is about the security deposit: how do I get it back?

Well, the answer varies from state to state, but there are some simple steps everyone should take to make sure that money gets back out of the hands of greedy landlords. For a list of how long your landlord has to get you back your money, see this list. Be sure to note that in places like Los Angeles, landlords are required to pay you interest for the time they have held onto your deposit. New Yorkers, your first stop should be at the Web site of The Met Council. They’ve saved me -for free – countless times.

In the meantime, the first thing you should do is memorialize all conversations you have with your landlord about the return of your security deposit. That means sending him/her a letter, stating what you discussed and making sure he/she signs for the letter upon its delivery. The only way to do that is to send all correspondence via Certified mail. Read the rest of this entry »