Queercents

I noticed a post on Facebook today that really intrigued me. A friend posted that they had their identity stolen by someone who used this to open up a bank account at Wells Fargo and fund the account with a $1,500 payday loan. I have just about heard it all with identity thieves but this one really tops the list. “So someone stole my identity and took out a 1500 dollar payday loan now I’m being sued for fraud and nonpayment I swear stuff like this never ends for me!” then went on to comment “I don’t even know what type of lawyer to get and I’m sure it will be way to much for me to afford.”

The person affected by this id theft said the payday loan was taken out June of 2009 deposited into a Wells Fargo account and after the withdraw the account was closed. He went on to say that he had never gotten a loan other than for school and has never banked with Wells Fargo.”
Read the rest of this entry »

This has to be one of the most difficult financial situations through which to navigate. Important relationships are at stake and it seems to me that the most socially acceptable (and easiest) thing to do is to give if you have it. Money problems are one of our last cultural taboos and so anyone revealing theirs is already feeling vulnerable but it is very difficult to consider giving or lending money without wondering how they got into the bind in the first place.

About a year ago, an email request came from a member of our social group soliciting donations for another member of the group, I’ll call Sue, whose business had failed and who needed money for a certification program which would hopefully launch a new career. It sounded like a good cause and we were doing okay so we sent her a check for $100 which she did in fact use for that purpose and for which she was very appreciative. In a subsequent conversation with Sue she explained how she was very frugal and though she shops at Ann Taylor for her clothes, she was considering holding off on the purchase of a new car since her current 5 year old model wasn’t yet giving her any problems. Now I’m really working on my nonjudgement but considering that I shop at Goodwill and other second hand stores (with the occasional splurge at TJMaxx) and my well maintained 11 year old car suits me just fine, I’m no longer certain that the donation went to a good cause. Read the rest of this entry »

“When you make a mistake, admit it. If you don’t, you only make matters worse.” – Ward Cleaver

Last night, Jeanine and I ran a quick errand at South Coast Plaza and as we were leaving we stumbled upon the new Charlie Palmer restaurant. We sat at the bar and ordered two glasses of wine, the cheese plate and a salad. The couple on our left and the woman on our right even offered a taste off their dishes… how friendly is that for Southern California? It turned into a little food fest on a Tuesday night.

Eventually though, I had enough of the impromptu party and placed my credit card where the bartender would notice I was ready to cash out. He took the card and returned with the bill for my signature. I was still talking to the woman who had shared her SHRIMP KABOBS A LA PLANCHA TAMARIND CHIVE GLAZE, CAPONATA SALAD (fantastic, by the way!), so Jeanine opened the bill presenter. After reviewing the line items she said in a soft voice, “He charged you for the $40 Cabernet… what do you want to do?”

“Umm… I’m going to tell him that I didn’t order the $40 glass of Cabernet.” Read the rest of this entry »

The hiring process can be a unique one. Whether the organization is large or small or simply a solopreneur looking for subcontractors, the question of who you hire for the job is not always black and white. In fact it is often multiple shades of gray. While I certainly would not condone hiring someone simply based on a personal relationship if he/she weren’t qualified the waters get muddier if they are at least partially qualified.

Let’s face it relationships play into every hiring decision; even if it is only a gut feel as to whether or not the candidate can build rapport with the person hiring. Many positions of power are had almost entirely on relationships. Ever wonder how the Presidential Cabinet gets filled? It is most certainly not a lengthy RFP process I would bet.

So, what would you do when faced with helping a friend out? Would you go out of your way to help her or would you put business first?

In the web consulting arm of my business, I work with several subcontractors to get the work done. I am not an artist or trained designer so when it comes to logo design and more elaborate branding concepts, I need to rely on the experts. That is why I have several outstanding people that I collaborate with – so I can deliver only the best to my clients. That is why I need designers who can not only design but also understand the web. Design for the web is not the same as traditional design for other media. In addition, I need someone with whom the administrative details will be seamless – they are easy to work with, clear on deliverables and payment, and a delight to communicate with via email and phone. Read the rest of this entry »

“See everything; overlook a great deal; correct a little.” – Pope John XXIII

Not too long ago, I noticed a drug deal going down at my gym. The alleged drug dealer is a club member who happens to be at the gym every time I set foot inside the building. It doesn’t matter what time of day it is… he’s there. Six o’clock in the morning… he’s there. Lunchtime… he’s there. 7:00 PM on a Tuesday night as I head into yoga class… he’s there.

Although he looks fit, you would think he’d be Mr. Universe with the amount of time he’s there. Then one day it all made sense. As he was pedaling on the stationary bike, I saw him peddle something to a young woman as she passed behind him. Nonchalantly, he slipped her something… something small in the palm of his hand and she just kept on walking by. It happened so quickly and with such dealer technique, that for a moment I wondered if I had really seen what I saw.

The gym is his office and gym members are his clients. He has quite the gig. It’s a thriving business as he profits from the illegal activities of the partying kind. It has nothing to do with me. Or does it? Read the rest of this entry »

Someone takes credit for your work.

A project falls short of its objectives. When the boss asks how this happened, your co-worker throws you under the bus.

Social ineptitude. Imperious demands. Hostile feedback.

The workplace is replete with surprises, and often they appear in our inbox. So how do you respond?

When my instructor for an Internet class was teaching us the mechanics of email, she emphasized a point worthy of all caps: NEVER WRITE AN EMAIL WHEN MAD! Read the rest of this entry »

I try to get along well with everyone. While I may disagree with another’s opinions or find their behaviors distasteful, I don’t think there’s any reason we can’t be civil. But there is one person for whom I have an unabashed dislike. And as fate would have it she was working at the takeout counter when I went to pick up an order at a local restaurant.

To call the situation awkward is an understatement. But we managed to play our respective roles of “customer” and “server” and she rung up my order. Of course I later checked my Amex to ensure no additional charges had been pushed through, and fortunately my food was not poisoned. But I digress. She presented me with the bill and above the signature line was the tip.

My total was $11.34. But first… a little background is in order.

Read the rest of this entry »

The other day I was talking with a colleague that I collaborate with about how to communicate our working relationship to potential clients. I am pretty transparent in all my dealings because I value honesty and an open relationship. I learned that not everyone feels the same way.

We got to talking about a recent job she bid on. She told the client up front that there was a portion of the programming work that she would not be doing but instead would be working with and using software that another organization provides. The client was thrilled to hear her say this because they said the very reason they chose not to work with another vendor was because the vendor concealed the fact that a portion of their work would be done by another business. Score one for being open and honest in business communications!

In today’s world which is dripping with fake and insincere messages, people are just dying for something real. When it comes to working one on one with someone whose business involves providing a service like mine does (coaching and web consulting), it is even more important to be authentic. Who wants to hire a plastic fake? Read the rest of this entry »

A strange experience I had this past weekend made for a great What Would You Do? question: what level of responsibility will people accept for a lost wallet?

I was at a club with a friend. It was getting late; the club was about to close; my friend needed to get his jacket before we left, so I waited for him by the exit. The lights came on, and of course it was a tragic scene. Glassy eyes and disheveled clothes everywhere, stumbling, falling — looked as though everyone was coming off a violently turbulent flight, except for all the last-minute attempts at hooking up (a moment otherwise known to some gay men as the “sidewalk sale — all standards half off”).

Anyway, a polite but very drunk lady near me was just finishing a shot of liquor from what looked like a test tube, and she asked me if I’m from Missouri.

“I don’t think I’ve ever set foot in Missouri come to think of it,” I told her. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s that time of year when I pull out the file to prepare for our tax appointment and I’m always amazed at the number of receipts in there from Goodwill donations. How do we accumulate so much junk? Years ago I vowed never to host another garage sale and now I donate everything and take the tax deduction. Suze Orman and I agree on this and term life insurance.

Whenever I’m taking a load over to our neighborhood center, I’m always amazed at the amount and quality of the stuff that I see dropped off. On more than one occasion, Jeanine has wondered aloud about what gets filched first by the employees and volunteers. I typically don’t put that much thought into our trunk full of junk and have replied an equal number of times that if they were skimming off the top, it wouldn’t really bother me. Who am I to judge?

But apparently, Jeanine isn’t the only one questioning the ethics of those making a living or giving their time at the Goodwill store. On Sunday, The Ethicist column in The New York Times posed this exact thought by one reader: Read the rest of this entry »