Ask the Readers: Borrow stuff more often to save money?
It just occurred to me: a friend lent me the book I’m currently reading. Another friend lent us her box sets of “Battlestar Galactica” which Zac and I recently got hooked on. And yet another friend sent us a bunch CDs to enjoy.
Yeah, we have nice friends, but they’re also saving us a lot of money right now. I probably would have purchased Friend 1’s book because it’s not something I can find at the library. Friend 2 saves us trips to Blockbuster (we keep finishing discs of BSG before Netflix can get us the next disc). And Friend 3 kept us from having to buy new music.
None of the above are necessities, but for whatever reason, we buy them anyway.
Seems like all of us should be borrowing stuff from friends more often. But I’ve had some bad experiences with that. For example, I once lent a friend a bunch of board games for his dinner party. I was in no rush to get them back (error on my part), and he wasn’t exactly thoughtful enough to return them soon after as he was done. I never saw those games again. I never expected our friendship to turn sour, but then he turned out to be sort of crazy in a bad way (unrelated to borrowing stuff), so I decided to keep my distance from him. I lost out on $60 worth of board games. I’d feel dumb shelling out money to replace them.
And then there’s little stuff I lend out to friends that sometimes I never see back, like magazines, tupperware, or a t-shirt I don’t wear often. I don’t mind that so much. There are more important things to be concerned about in life. (Also, I’m guilty of forgetting to return little things too.)
Generally, we expect borrowing stuff from friends to go smoothly. But that won’t always be the case no matter how respectful we are to our friends and their belongings. The quality of how one takes care of things is relative — there’s going to be lots of room for disagreement between the borrower and lender.
But borrowing stuff sure does seem like a great way to save money. I say let’s have a vote about this.
What tips do you have to make borrowing stuff from friends run more smoothly?
[Photo by MarkyBon.]
After three years in college I’ve made friends with upperclassmen who I ask to borrow textbooks/ or buy them cheap. Saved me thousands so far.
Honestly, I have a policy that basically says I should only loan out things that I would be ok if they don’t come back. It’s not that I don’t want them back but I wouldn’t treasure the item over my friendship if it came to it. Of course, the other day I lent my car to a friend and I would have been pretty upset if it didn’t come back but what are the chances?
Mostly we borrow books or DVDs and I find it pretty easy to put a sticky-note with the owner’s name in it. We even have a separate book shelf for borrowed books.
Simon, Debra, great ideas!
I especially like the sticky note and separate shelf idea for borrowed stuff. Having some sort of visual reminder would make me want to return an item faster.
I have a problem, perhaps bordering on the pathological, about asking people for favors, so I only borrow things that people offer me. So most of my borrowing is from the library or Netflix. I will also borrow from my parents, siblings, and roommates. And of course I will borrow work things from my co-workers. Hm, sometimes I borrow parking space from my neighbors when the street in front of my house is being borrowed by other neighbors.
I’ve learned not to lend things to people who don’t ask. Or at the very least, I should ask if someone wants to borrow something rather than hand it to them saying I think they would like it and that they should borrow it. (In the latter situation, I buy a new copy of the book or movie and make it a gift.)
There are a few people I trust to lend things too–I test them with things I don’t care about first. I lend music, movies, books, and my car. I offer to lend tools and other things too, but mostly people don’t need my help. I guess I lend my blood-making systems too sometimes (when I donate blood).
My favorite borrowing story is when friends borrowed the lawn mower of the lady down the street and in return always mowed her lawn, too. When I was carless, I used to borrow a friend’s car while he was out of town in return for bringing him to and from the airport.
Also this awesome post is about how someone figured out a way her mother could lend her her car to go on vacation with (invite her to join them on the vacation).
I think we Americans are really bad at borrowing and sharing. It doesn’t even occur to us as a possibility most of the time. So I’m looking forward to hearing more ideas because I’d like to become better at this. I feel it can both be financially wise and help make relationships deeper. But of course it can also be financially stupid and end relationships.
There are a couple of sets of neighbors that I regularly borrow and lend with. It’s saved us all not only money, but storage space as well. Really, how many 10′ ladders does one neighborhood need? I tend to borrow tools and lend out craft supplies and kids’ costume items. Somehow, we’ve accumulated enough odd dress-up clothes that when a neighbor kid came over and asked to borrow a mustache, I could even offer him a choice of two!
I’m not so happy when my son borrows books from his friends, since these tend to disappear into the mess that is his room, and it’s a mental challenge for both of us to make sure they get returned. Library books are less of a problem, since they’re all labeled as such. But I can’t tell, by looking at other books, if they’re something my son owns or has borrowed from a buddy. And he’s not organized enough to put a sticky note on them when he first brings them home. Luckily, his friends don’t seem to care how quickly the books come back, so our “you’re going to clean up now, let’s go through everything” rampages every couple months seem to suffice at turning things up.
John: This is an interesting topic. As a general rule, loaning and borrowing amongst friends has not been a problem for us. Jeanine is a bit territorial with her books though. I once offered up her copy of Joan Didion’s The Year of Magical Thinking to one of our friends and she was relentless about wanting it back. It was like I had loaned out a family heirloom without her permission. I finally called the friend and asked if we could get it back. I felt stupid making the call, but Jeanine wouldn’t quit bugging me about it. When the book was returned to our shelves, I eventually got around to reading it too and I have to admit, I’m not sure what all the fuss was about…
But as you might suspect, we don’t loan out books anymore. Funny thing, the above mentioned friend… her partner needed a black cocktail dress for a reunion and I opened my closet to her. She returned it promptly, but quite frankly, I could have cared less if she had kept it. I was happy somebody was getting use out of something that I had worn once and it was just taking up space in the back of my closet — next to the ski pants that I only wear once a year. Come to think of it, that same friend has borrowed those too. And returned them promptly. See… no big deal.
If its a small item, like a book or clothing, I only loan out what I am willing to never see again. Case in point- our church had many discussion groups about the concept of living simply and I had brought in some books on the subject. I loaned out a book I knew I might not see again- and never have. On one level, it was decluttering at its finest- passing on a book to someone who needed it; but on another level- I don’t have a book I liked (!).
Big items, like the aforementioned ladder, are loaned out at hubby’s discretion- since she’s the one usually directly involved with their use. (Okay, y’all know I’m a big ole femme!) She is on the case as to how long it is expected to be gone and follows up closely as to when the user is finished. She makes absolutely sure to get our ladder, mower, whatever back at the stated time or with an amended return date/time.
She is also a stickler at making sure anything we borrow gets back on time. Even library books (where I fail big time!).