Yes, that’s the range of what Guy Ritchie has gotten from his divorce from Madonna and she’s not going to be hurting anytime soon, but the question is… are you prepared financially should you and your partner decide to split? We’ve seen it in heterosexual couples both publicly and privately, however for some reason we don’t ever acknowledge it in the gay lifestyle publicly or rarely privately.   Although it may not be the most idealistic of subjects to discuss, it’s something that does happen to people.

Many gay couples often stay together for financial reasons; either so used to the lifestyle that they don’t want to lose it or simply cannot afford to go their separate ways because so much has been tied up together.   A very close friend of my just celebrated his 46th birthday, and he actually hit the milestone that he and his partner had been together for half of his life.   He, like so many other couples, often have financial issues that they deal with, which usually involves one spouse being responsible for the household finances while the other spouse is not as responsible for keeping money in the house.   It surprised me though when talking to him about how they dealt with their finances.   They each had their own separate bank and retirement accounts, however they had a house account for which they were responsible for splitting the bills down the middle, saving towards vacations, etc.

I always thought that everything got pooled together like my parent’s relationship did, and if one contributed more than the other then so be it.   Unfortunately this is where my mistake began and I’m therefore learning to correct it a second time.   Both of my relationships used this financial formula, but because of the caregiver in me I always over compensated for my partner’s lacking and oversight in being on the same page financially as myself.   I was always raised to believe that you need to avoid debt as often as possible, save for retirement, and always plan for the unexpected.   My partners were raised of the belief that there will always be bills so just enjoy life while you can and they’ll get paid when they do.   Should another relationship ever come out on the horizon again, this will be at the forefront of any potential talk of commitment.

I realize now that I can’t be solely responsible for anyone but myself and I can’t save everyone in the world, including those that I love.   I often tell my clients that Texas is a community property state and ask if they are prepared for the possibility of divorce where their business is concerned.   The same response I get back is that ‘œit’ll never happen to me ‘“ she/he will never allow me to divorce them.’   This also could ring true with gay couples as well. There’s never anything wrong to prepare for what could happen, even if it doesn’t.   However, my advice to any couple is to seek counsel and make sure you both are aware of the limits you can afford, should things not turn out the way you expect your fairy tale courtship to end.   I’m not so much a pessimist as I am a realist, and experience is the best teacher.

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Dwayne J. Briscoe, Owner
Bookkeeping-Results, LLC
Dwayne@bookkeeping-results.com

Photo credit: stock.xchng.