Dating on a Budget: You can go to church
Some people look at church as a deeply religious experience; while others do not. Some people believe in God, others Allah, others Buddha, and still some believe in no higher power at all. Just for a moment, I would like you to expand your view of church because it can be a lot of fun.
The idea for this post donned on me at a New Year’s Eve service where I saw a couple, who were on a date. I thought to myself, “Hmm. Why didn’t I think of that? It’s free, entertaining, and way for us to learn more about one another.” Now, it’s even clearer to me that churches are not solely religious institutions, but act as social organizations as well.
Often times churches are very active in the community. Providing food and shelter, free HIV testing, and sponsorships for PRIDE events across the country are not uncommon for LGBT affirming churches. Unity Fellowship Church in Charlotte, NC also does outreach at some of the local colleges.
Church can provide you the opportunity to take time out with your partner to do something for someone else- and it’s rewarding. Volunteer buffs will have no problem finding an activity in which to participate. It’s like a ready made date waiting to happen. You just have to choose what you want to participate in.
At some churches, you can find movie nights, theatrical productions, choir concerts, guest speakers, a church service, or even great trips at discounted rates. Even more, churches are now taking the whole family into account with children’s services, social groups for kids, and even dance teams.
Various ministries have been established to address the concerns of families, couples, and single individuals alike. Workshops and conferences on budgeting, financial planning, and taxes are now even more common place in churches.
It doesn’t matter the denomination of the church either. At Whosoever.org they provide a directory of LGBT friendly churches throughout the nation. So whether you are in Raleigh, FL or San Francisco, CA – you can find a church that welcomes you with open arms, provides great activities (often FREE), and fun can be had by all!
Photo credit: stock.xchng.
Tamara: My comment is a bit off topic, but the “it’s free and entertaining” part reminded me of a discussion I once had with Jeanine about what to drop in the offering plate:
She disagreed with me! But your posts makes me wonder again… is church really free?
Good point Nina! Church isn’t free, but they do offer a lot of activities that are free to the public. Sometimes, I have seen a church take up a love offering at an event, but oftentimes they do not. I definitely do what I can in the offering arena, but if I don’t have it–they aren’t going to throw me out of the church or put me in jail for non-payment of fees.
As far as whether it’s really free, I think whether or how much to toss in the offering plate depends on which category your participation falls in:
a) first-time or infrequent visitor to a typical worship service
b) visitor to a special event sponsored by the church but designed for the wider community
c) regular attender of the church
Speaking as someone who is a deacon in my church and who is often the one passing the collection plate down the aisles, I have zero expectation that first-time visitors to a Sunday morning service drop anything in the collection plate. I’m more focused on being glad that they’re potentially interested enough in our church that they even showed up to check us out! For an event that is more community-focused, such as a speaker or movie night or concert, I do think the polite thing for most people to do is to toss something in the offering plate, to help offset the costs of the event. The church may have paid an honorarium to the speaker, or paid for guest soloists, for example. However, since I recognize that everyone is in a different place financially, I’m certainly not going to react negatively to anyone who doesn’t donate, and unless you’re tossing in coins or ostentatiously flashing very large bills, I’m not even going to notice how much you give. Financial expectations of people in category C seem outside the scope of Tamara’s post….
Tamara, I know LOTS of people who go to church to meet a potential partner, although I’ve never known anyone to take a date to a Sunday service. Mormons take dates to all kinds of special services, though, so I guess you could say that I’ve done lots of church dating in my far-gone past.
As for how much to put in the collection plate, I think S makes a good point about first time visitors, but I like to put something in the plate even if I’m only visiting because I know the good community work that the churches do. Maybe I only put in a few bucks, but I don’t attend a regular church anymore and I consider this to be my form of “tithing.”
Oh, on a random aside . . . I visited a lot of old churches on my trip to Holland this past month. I found it really interesting that you pay a little entrance fee to get a self-guided “tour” through the church. They also had little boxes by the door where you could donate more money to help with the upkeep of these old buildings. Most of them had been built in the 1600’s. Unbelievable!
Gotta say – most interesting contrast in Holland was the red light district in Haarlem, which is directly behind one of these old churches. There was a whorehouse literally in the buildings where the old rectory would have been. I think Nietzsche would have approved.