An Earful[Almost Debt Free is still on hiatus. In the meantime, I’m playing around with the idea of a new series called Earful of Money, in which we discuss solutions to money problems overheard or observed around us. Let us know what you think.]

Did you ever have lunch at a packed place, ride the train or wait in line just to get stuck next to loud talkers? Sometimes it’s hard to tune out what people are saying — especially if they’re talking about some wild stuff. It’s no wonder websites like Overheard in the Office and Overhead in New York are so popular. People say priceless things.

My friend B’s recent lunch experience was an extended episode of what you’d find on one of the Overheard websites. I couldn’t meet B for a lunch date, so she was stuck having lunch by herself. Two women were seated next to her, and they proceeded to have a boisterous conversation about money. Things took a dark turn, however, when one of the women candidly began lamenting her money woes to her friend.

B’s paraphrase of the conversation left me astonished. One of the women (let’s call her Janet) detailed bad decision after bad decision while her friend (we’ll call her Doris) sat in her chair speechless and awestruck. B could hardly control herself too. Context is everything, so there’s probably more to Janet’s situation that would make her seem less clueless, but I’ll leave that for you to decide. Let’s examine Janet’s story (assuming we know as much as Doris knows about Janet) and figure out some way to give polite, but helpful feedback to Janet.

Scary Point #1: Fails to See That Not Everyone Has the Same Expenses; ARM Mortgage Troubles Already

Janet: I just don’t understand why she gets to go to on all these exotic vacations, and gets to wear such nice clothes. I know how much money she makes, and it’s not much more than what I make. And I think I’m pretty good with how I manage money. I want to go on nice vacations too.

Doris: Well, you have a mortgage and she doesn’t.

Janet: That’s true. But I’m barely getting by with my mortgage payments. I just don’t know how I’m going to get by when my interest rate goes up in five years. I’m really worried about it. It’s just so not fair.

Scary Point #2: Carries Thousands of Dollars Because She Doesn’t Like Banks

Janet: I had all this money my roommate paid me for rent, so I took it Reno with Jim and won some money with it. Now I have all this money that I don’t know what do with; and I don’t want to put it in a bank because I hate banks. Now I’m carrying all this cash around.

Doris: [Tries to change subject.]

Janet: And you know what’s funny. I’ve been picking up all these tabs lately because I’m carrying around all this cash. Jim noticed too. We went out to dinner, and he said “Wow you’ve been good about picking up all the checks lately.” And I told him it’s because I never carry all this cash around, and so since I have all this cash, why not just use it.

Scary Point #3: “Why Don’t You Tell Me Where to Put My Money?”

Doris: [Uncomfortable. Looks at plate with eyes wide open. Has taken to fidgeting instead of eating.]

Janet: I’ve been thinking about investing, so I asked Terry where she puts her money. She was telling me Fidelity [pronounced it PHI-delity] is good because it’s pretty self-serve, so they won’t charge for commission like other places do because they tell you where to put your money. I don’t want to pay commission that’s for sure. But also, I don’t know where to put my money. I shouldn’t have to look that up. I asked Terry where she puts her money, and she said she couldn’t do that. Can you believe that? And I mean, why can’t I just go into Fidelity and say, “Why don’t you tell me where to put my money?” and not pay commission. Just tell me where to put my money!

Conclusion

Help her! This is like watching a person go overboard and not throwing a lifesaver. Either Janet is a rare breed, or chances are that we’re related to someone like this, or they’re connected to our social circle somehow. Do you know people like this?

If I were in Doris’ shoes, I’d be pretty uncomfortable too. To be honest, I’m not sure what I would say. Maybe suggest MyMoney.gov so that she could pick up some financial literacy? An intervention? Run from the table and never talk to her again?

Dear readers, how do you help someone who makes terribly bad financial decisions, and who also appears unwilling to learn how to make wiser decisions? Hopefully this snippet of Janet’s life does not represent her total outlook on finances. If it does, would you try to help her at all?

[If you have any money stories overheard or observed, feel free to drop them in the comment box and we’ll think of ways to approach the problem in the next Earful of Money.]