While the results of Prop 8 in California are indeed distressing and discouraging, as a community we have never let big or small setbacks stop us. The time for equality will come, unfortunately we just have to deal with going backwards first before we can go forward.

Legality has never stopped gay and lesbian couples from getting married, if only in ceremony. Recently two resources were pointed out to me that I thought were worth sharing: Two Brides and Two Grooms.

Both sites are run by the same company and offer just about everything from planning to cake toppers. Regardless of where you live you can find handy items for the discerning queer ceremony planner without leaving home.

It took me a while to finally get around to sharing these resources — they were buried in my inbox of which I hadn’t seen the bottom for a while. I have to say I felt somewhat conflicted to share them right now in light of the emotional and devastating passage of Prop 8. The fact that the vote was somewhat close is no consolation. The LA Times covered the results in detail complete with comments from couples who look at their California marriage certificates from earlier this year with nothing but tears in their eyes and grief in their hearts. It is a difficult article to read.

Yet, what I know about the human spirit and our community in general is that we will continue to have the courage to declare our love and our partnerships in ceremony. And, we will continue the fight for full equality under the law. We stand strong and move forward. I particularly liked this quote from Zephoria:

I think that we need to spend the next year convincing those around us that this is discrimination. I think that everyone – gay and straight – needs to start conversations about what it means to be in a same-sex loving relationship. I’m not interested in trying to convince people that their churches should accept same-sex marriage. I’m interested in helping people understand that church marriages are not the same as state marriages. And that when it comes to the state, it’s of utmost importance that there’s no discrimination. The Catholic Church is more than welcome to discriminate wrt marriage. They already do. You can’t get married in a Catholic church if you’re not Catholic. But the state should not be discriminatory, especially when so many rights and freedoms and economic benefits are afforded to married couples.

Tuesday was a story in contrasts — a HUGE vote for change and equality with an Obama victory and an vote for hatred in the passing of Prop 8. As we wait for the sea of change to validate our rights may we continue to celebrate the love we have for those nearest and dearest to us.

 

Paula Gregorowicz, owner of The Paula G. Company, offers life coaching for women who are ready to create their lives and businesses in a way that fits who they are rather than how they were told they "should". Visit her website at www.thepaulagcompany.com and get the free 12 part eCourse "How to Be Comfortable in Your Own Skin" and start taking charge of your own success.