I’m going to admit deep, dark secret.   As loyal readers, I trust you not to be too harsh. Here goes…

I judge people based on how they speak.

Ok, ok, I know it’s bad. I try not to, but sometimes I just can’t help it.

Let me explain. I don’t expect people to drop ten dollar words into conversation to sound intelligent. I’m talking about “weasel words,” little words such as “like,” “you know,” “umm”s and “uhh”s. The filler words that you use when your brain and mouth try to sync back up.

Here’s an example. Several years ago, I had a professor who was at my school as a guest lecturer, filling a fairly prestigious and competitive slot. She graduated from Yale University having completed their program for a doctorate in dramaturgy, the only one of its kind in the country at the time. Everything about this woman’s record suggested that not only was she smart, she was really smart. Unfortunately, hearing her lecture, you would never know it.

She possessed all the verbal ticks I mentioned. “Like” was liberally interspersed, “umm”s and “uhh”s preceded each sentence and “you know”s followed her clauses. I didn’t know (that was why I was in the class) and in order to know, I was stuck trying to translate her fractured speaking into something comprehensible.

I admit it, that’s a little harsh and her ticks were more pronounced than anyone else I’ve met, but she’s a good example of what I’m trying to say. She’s someone who is smart and who knew her stuff, yet because of how she spoke, that knowledge didn’t come across.

I became aware of these verbal ticks when I was in high-school and took forensics (no, not like CSI, this kind). A few years later, when I was being groomed to be the training director for new DJs at the radio station I worked at, I noticed the same thing. Amateur DJs were easily distinguishable from their experienced counterparts because of their reliance on “weasel words.” Their on-air comments simply didn’t sound as professional.

Fortunately, it’s not a terribly hard habit to break. Most of the time, just being aware of it is enough to cause a dramatic improvement. Speaking more slowly helps your brain keep pace with your mouth. If that’s not enough, I wore a rubber band around my wrist for a period and snapped it against my skin any time I used these “weasel words.” It’s a little masochistic, but combining awareness of the problem and negative reinforcement was enough to break the habit. (This can also work with other habits: I used the same technique to stop cracking my knuckles.) Creating something akin to a “Swear Jar” works, too, and you end up with more than jut the pride of accomplishment, though I personally have had more luck with the negative reinforcement. Collecting coins for every infraction was far easier to cheat on than snapping a rubber band.

Directly opposed to the former professor was the shareholders meeting I attended several weeks ago. I was thoroughly impressed with the caliber of speaking. The speakers were confident but conversational, clearly in control of the room and unhindered by any verbal crutches. Conversing with them afterwards, I learned they had undergone media training, a process where they were filmed speaking and the film was analyzed. This is also a great technique for figuring out what works and what doesn’t. The most significant take-away for me from this event was that their capable speaking skills were enough to persuade me that what they were doing is significant and warranted an investment, which is no small thing when you’re trying to raise 15 million dollars.

Public speaking is one of the most prevalent fears, so it’s easy to understand why people have a hard time with it but practice can go a long way towards making it easier. Media training, to an extent, can be done by yourself, especially if you have a computer with a webcam. It’s useful if your job relies heavily on public speaking, but if you’re just looking to improve your skills presenting to co-workers or have a fantastic interview, eliminating these idiosyncrasies goes a long way. And hey, no one’s perfect, I’m certainly not, but it’s a start.

Want more tips for public speaking? Click here.

Photo Credit: Stock Xchng