Ramon Johnson is the gay lifestyle guide at About: Gay Life, a New York Times Company. The commentary, advice, and resources Ramon provides outlines the essentials of what it means to be gay and “how to live a better gay life.” These are his words…

Protecting yourself financially doesn’t mean you’re being mistrustful of your partner. Trust has nothing to do with it. Credit can take years to repair and the damage is often emotionally and financially devastating. Even if you can’t imagine being without him and feel your relationship is going to last forever, think of your financial goals ten years from now and the possibility that he may not be around.

By protecting your credit you secure your own future and the stability of your relationship. Heed these financial mistakes that can lead to personal ruin at the end of a relationship:

Leases/Mortgages
Sure you love him, but don’t be quick to sign a lease or secure a mortgage until you’ve discussed financially responsibility. The discussion should extend beyond whether your combined resources will cover the payments. Leases are legally binding documents for the length of the lease term. Whoever’s name is on the lease is ultimately responsible for the rent for the full term. Also, mortgages can range from 15 to 30 years. Talk about a long term commitment! Will you be able to cover the cost of the lease or mortgage if you and your partner break up say 3 month into the lease or 3 years into the mortgage?

Co-Signing
Never co-sign on a loan with a term that is longer than you’ve been together or longer than you’ve known the person. You’ve been dating for a year, but who knows what may happen at the end of your 48 month loan term. Again, you may be stuck with the bill. Remember, in case of non-payment by the principle signer (him), the co-signer assumes responsibility (you). I almost made the mistake of co-signing for a boyfriend once. I never did, but if I had of signed on the dotted line, I would’ve been responsible for a series of delinquent car payments – which would have been especially annoying since we broke up less than six months later.

Credit Cards
Credit cards are like the drugs of personal finances. They are oh so tempting. After all, the credit is great and you only have to pay the minimum balance every month. It eventually catches up with you, though, and you have nothing to show for it. What the credit card companies don’t tell you is that by paying only the minimum balance (even at a reasonable interest rate) it could take over 40 years to pay off. Meanwhile, your purchase is long gone. If you can’t afford to pay for a gift by cash then don’t buy it. Many gay men also fall into the trap of purchasing items for their partners on credit cards. He may be begging you for that leather jacket and you’d love nothing more than to see him in it, but will you be together by the time the credit card bill is paid for? It’s best for each of you to maintain your own cards and if you use each others’ draft a promissory agreement.

Joint Bank Accounts
Share the household expenses, but keep separate personal bank accounts. Create a joint account where you both can deposit money for shared bills and incidentals. Come to a mutual agreement about the rules for use of the account. Use it for bills only or require each other to disclose withdrawals over 50 dollars, and so on.

Bad Credit
If you or he has bad credit make sure it’s being actively repaired. Don’t let the financial future of your partnership fall squarely on one person’s shoulders.

Should you distrust someone with bad credit? Not particularly. With the rising number of college grads leaving campus already in a credit hole, the “perfect” credit candidate pool is getting smaller and smaller. Also, people make mistakes and credit mistakes can take years (even decades) to repair. Bad credit isn’t a plague that you should avoid. However, a person with bad credit and a nonchalant attitude is another story. Don’t let him take you down by repeating the same mistakes over again. If you can’t afford a purchase or a loan on your own, then don’t co-sign or secure it in your name only.

Here’s how to repair your credit report.

Securing your financial security isn’t synonymous with mistrust. When it comes to personal credit and financial security, as Tina Turner would say, “What’s love got to do with it?”