This week’s ruling on California’s Prop 8 was a tough one.   I’m happy to hear that the existing marriages were upheld and I’m thrilled to see our support base continuing to grow.   All the same, it was still a setback.

I started thinking about it and realized that where I am financially – my current debt and my much-gained knowledge on personal finance – is largely due to my involvement with this issue.   When you hear of people going into thousands of dollars of debt (or more), you might think that it was spent on designer clothes or expensive cars.   That’s what gay people spend money on, right?   But that’s just a stereotype.

For me, it was spent on spreading a message of hope.

With the passing of the first state marriage amendments in 2004, I wrote a song called Rise Above that offered a solution: reach out to those who don’t understand us instead of fighting back.   It will open their eyes to what our lives are like as well as doing the same to us.

I teamed up with a very talented filmmaker to produce a music video, complete with protesters, powerful imagery, and a wedding scene at the end.   It hit home and made quite the statement.   Not knowing how to promote it, I then worked with a very effective promotions company and record label that helped produce more remixes, video remixes, and then promote it on a national level to radio stations [Sirius, XM], DJs, dance clubs, fitness centers, and MTV’s Logo channel.   When we performed the song live at Pride festivals, we reenacted the video to keep the message alive.

People got it.   During shows we would see the audience wiping tears from their eyes while cheering.   I received messages from those who saw it on Logo and wanted to share it with their families.   Some said it was the first time they felt OK to be gay.   Others even e-mailed to express support under the promise that I wouldn’t reveal their identities.   No matter how small, I think it helped us gain a few more supporters.

Behind the scenes, though, my debt was skyrocketing.   We cut no corners with shooting the video, and every mastering session, remix, video remix, video promotion, DJ record pool, and even closed captioning for TV cost another few hundred or another few thousand dollars.   I tried to ignore it for awhile, but eventually had to face the facts: I had reached my financial limits.   What some people would spend on a really nice car, I spent on this song.

It was a limit that needed to be reached and I don’t regret a thing.   It forced me to become a new person.   Fast forward to today and I know how to manage my finances, cook from scratch, shop and spend wisely, and live within my means.   This summer my debt should be paid off and I can then save up to finance the next music project.

In the meantime, the video is still out there and the message of ‘Rise Above’ is still valid.   We don’t have marriage equality yet and we need to reach out more, but we’re making progress.   Maybe one day my music video will be obsolete.   We can only hope.

If you haven’t seen it yet, please spend a few minutes to watch the video and spread the message:
[Freeloader Radio mix]
[Radikal DJ’s Club mix]

[original mix]

[Live at Denver PrideFest]