Pink & Green Parenting: DIY Shower Gifts
It’s finally spring, which means’¦ it’s baby shower season. I’m up to my ears in showers; I have four friends who are so pregnant they’re about to pop, and one who just adopted.
Though I’m not a fan of most over-commercialized holidays, I love the ritual of honoring someone on the brink of parenthood. And it’s often the last chance to have uninterrupted adult time with them (of either the coffee klatsch or XXX variety) for’¦ oh, eighteen years or so.
But though I love the spirit of the baby shower, I don’t embrace its commercialism (and underlying assumptions about gender, parenthood, and all the rest). So no, I’m not a fan of pink or blue onesies, prefab baby books, puerile joke gifts, or cookie cutter ‘œyou’re special, new mom!’ sentiments. I strive to make my shower gifts memorable, meaningful, eco-conscious’¦ and cheap.
So in that spirit, here are some suggestions for shower gifts that I hope are inventive, inexpensive, individualistic, and appropriate for queer/progressive parents-to-be.
1) Home-made Baby Book
I started making these because I found the commercial baby books unbearably tacky.All that pink, blue, clichéd sentimentality’¦ yuck. It’s a great idea: a book documenting baby’s firsts. But instead of the predictable ‘˜baby’s first step, word, etc.’ pages, make up your own: baby’s first pizza, curse word, spit up, crayon masterpiece’¦ Just buy a blank book and decorate it however you like, creating pages to document the momentous and absurd events in a baby or child’s life.
2) Heirloom Books and Toys
This is my hands-down favorite shower gift to give or get: high-quality, classic or antique books and toys that belonged to another child. If you have a child, see if she or he wants to choose a favorite (but no longer age-appropriate) toy or book to give to the baby-to-be. If you don’t have kids, you can use a book or toy that you treasured, or buy a replica.Ebay is a good source for vintage toys, but I prefer digging through Goodwill stores, yard sales, and antique shops. Your child (and/or you!) can also make a card addressed to the future baby, telling him or her about your own experiences with the toy or book.
3) DIY Onesies
This is for the mildly crafty/ambitious. But fear not! It’s easy. Buy or recycle some neutral-colored organic cotton onesies, and stencil them with baby-related graphics (clothes pins, alphabet blocks, bottles, etc.) or, if you prefer, something totally unconventional (I’ve made Elvis, Fat Elvis, Fat Albert, and Edith Piaf-imprinted onesies!) All it takes is some stencil paper from an art store, and non-toxic inks in whatever colors you’d like to use. Or you can do an iron-on, by printing an image on iron-on paper (available from craft stores). If the baby’s name has been chosen, you could even monogram it! One of my favorites was a onesie that a friend made with my daughter’s name silkscreened in a Rolling Stones-style font. Quel rock star! The main expense is your time, but this is a true-blue keepsake that the parents will treasure. Or at least get a good laugh out of it.
4) Queer Parenting Books
The end of a pregnancy (or final stage of an adoption process) is the best time to read these; once the baby arrives, the new parents will be too exhausted to think about the meta-issues as they drown in sleeplessness, diapers, and joy. So choose the books that were most useful to you, if you’re already a parent.
If you’re not, here are a few suggestions: These are all in paperback, and are relatively inexpensive:
The Queer Parent’s Primer
The Lesbian and Gay Parenting Handbook
The Complete Lesbian and Gay Parenting Guide
5) DIY Books
All it takes to make your own children’s book is a notebook, a computer printer, and some imagination. I use those hard-cover notebooks you can get for a buck at a drugstore, and then print out my stories and paste them in, along with illustrations and other decorations. I make the baby-to-be the protagonist, and turn him or her into a superhero with magic powers, fighting ridiculous demons. The sillier the better!
Or, if you’re not feeling that creative, you can retell a myth or familiar children’s story, making the baby-to-be the protagonist. My friends LOVE these one-of-a-kind books. The cost is minimal, but they’re priceless, truly unique ways to honor a new baby.
So those are a few of my favorite queertacular, eco-sensitive, mildly-to-extremely creative, cheapy cheapy cheap shower gifts. The truth is, I love babies, and the wonder of a new person coming into the world. And I love making gifts to honor them.
Have you given (or received) any unusual, inexpensive, ecologically-sound baby gifts? What baby shower gifts were the most meaningful to you? How do you feel about baby showers, anyway–love them? Hate them? Indifferent?
Its a great idea to make a special baby book. I would love to get it for my baby shower.
Glad to hear adoptive parents get baby showers too!
mrs b
http://www.baby-adoption.co.uk/adoption
Pregnancy Book-Thanks! You could also make one for yourself…
Mrs. B-I’ve been thinking about ways to make this column more inclusive of male and/or adoptive queer parents’ experiences. Thanks for the shout-out! I’ve done baby showers for adoptive parents _after_ the adoption, since things are sometimes unpredictable in the time leading up to the adoption. Either way, adoptive parents absolutely deserve baby showers!:)
Jennifer: Thanks for the links to the queer parenting books. I hope to make use of these soon!
Here’s a link for great, specific instructions on how to make unique and inexpensive iron-on design onesies: http://holaisabel.com/blog/2007/07/23/the-post-that-will-make-you-popular-with-all-your-friends/
The author, while not queer, is fantastically queer-friendly and charming.
Also, I found iron-on printer paper at Target. It isn’t cheap, but you don’t need much.
We were overrun with stuff from our first baby (9 years ago) given to us from showers and well wishers. Sadly- after baby graduates into 3-6 mos size, there were no more sweet little outfits gifted to us that would fit.
I recommend those looking to buy for a shower gift to look ahead- plan for what clothing baby will NEED in 3 to 6 mos time– and make sure you buy for the correct season too. Nothing sadder than a pretty 3 mos size sundress in December or a snow suit in June. By the time the right season rolls around, it won’t fit.
Thanks for the tip, Liza!!! Those are great instructions.
I love these ideas! And I definitely agree with on on avoiding the commercialization and genderization of baby showers. I like to knit, so I’ve knitted some baby things (hats, booties, blankets usually), usually in bold gender neutral colors. One lesbian couple I know had a registry that broke down costs of a second child adoption and other necessary legal protections (e.g. you could buy them the services to get power of attorney papers, etc.) that also ended being an educational tool (especially to their straight family members). I loved it and did “buy” them something off their registry.
I like to make baby quilts for people. I did make one overtly gendered baby quilt for a friend who picked pinks and purples to decorate the nursery, partly because I worried it might seem a little judgmental or higher-than-thou to give her a gender-neutral blanket when I knew very well that the nursery it would be going in is pinkpinkpink. But also because I had a piece of fabric to use that had a lot of sentimental meaning for my friend to use as a backing fabric that was mostly blue, with pink and yellow plaid, and the pink quilt top looked really good with that backing fabric.
But quilting gives a lot of oportunities to pick fabrics that you think the recipient will like (favorite aminals, season of the baby’s birth, geometrics, fairy tale characters) but that aren’t super gendered.
I also have made soft blocks out of felted (read: shrunken) wool sweaters. Not difficult, and definitely eco-friendly. You can pick interesting colors and textures, sew a jingle bell inside for sensory stimulation, use different stitching on the seams to make a set of three or four seem cohesive yet distinct. I wrote about making a set of soft blocks here: http://www.feministfinance.com/2008/02/compact-challenge-1.html
Wow, so many fantabulous ideas!! I love the soft-block idea–easy to do, even for the least crafty. And the adoption registry is brilliant! DivaJean, you are so right about the importance of getting stuff that isn’t only for a newborn.
Great ideas, everybody!!
Great ideas! My best friend and her partner are having a baby, and with my funds being a little short this time of year, and not wanting to buy into the big chains and really wanting to make this gift special to them, i was clueless until i stumbled across your great ideas! Thanks for steping outside the box!
Thanks, Becca! I find that people really appreciate these handmade and/or personalized gifts so much more than the expensive, generic stuff.
I like the idea of a DIY baby book. It sounds really personalised and would mean a lot more to them. But it will require a bit of time and effort though.