Planning to Death: Pre-Need Funeral Arrangements
“Death does not concern us, because as long as we exist, death is not here. And when it does come, we no longer exist.” — Epicurus
With all the talk about how Baby Boomers are ill-equipped for retirement, I find it interesting that at the same time, there’s been a push to get them to think about pre-need funeral planning for either themselves or their aging parents.
Robert Powell at CBS Marketwatch wrote an article called: A Crying Need for Funeral Planners about how death-planning services are an unaddressed market in U.S. I guess this means that many people are still avoiding the issue.
He list the most important questions that seniors need to address before their day of reckoning.
1. “Do you want to be buried or cremated? If you choose cremation, you only have to consider how you want your remains disposed of – in an urn, a traditional cemetery or cast to the wind.”
2. “Do you want a visitation or not? If you don’t want a visitation, you can shave additional costs from the funeral expenses.”
3. “Do you want a service and, if so, do you want your body present? If you don’t want a service, you can reduce costs even further. In some cases, seniors are choosing a direct cremation with a memorial service at a country club or a rented hall.”
The funeral business is changing. According to Lisa Takeuchi Cullen at Time magazine, she writes about the casket industry and if it can survive. She writes, “About three-quarters of Americans make their final exit via a casket, according to the Casket & Funeral Supply Association. That will change.”
“The Cremation Association of North America predicts that by 2025, nearly half of deaths will end in cremation. While 13% of cremations involve the use of a casket (some families choose, often at their funeral directors’ urging, to conduct a traditional viewing of their loved ones before cremating their bodies), families are increasingly less likely to shell out thousands of dollars for a box destined for the incinerator.” Of course all this could be covered in your pre-need planning session should you be so inclined to plan ahead.
She continues, “For the consumer, the problem with buying a casket is that nobody wants to do so until the need arises–and by then it’s simplest to purchase one through the funeral home. Consumer watchdogs say some funeral homes regularly inflate prices on caskets and mislead families into believing they may not shop elsewhere, despite a 1984 ruling by the Federal Trade Commission that explicitly states they may.”
“A growing number of entrepreneurs are shaking up that model by going directly to consumers. Costco introduced caskets in 2004.” Yep, Costco… but that’s old news.
Is all this talk about death giving you the heebie-jeebies? Perhaps, we all should just focus on something closer at hand: planning for our retirement.
Planning for retirement? This is a long topic and more complex than picking out a casket and burial plot, but working with a financial planner is a good place to start to make sure you’re comfortable in the golden years. CertifiedFinancialPlanner.net gives you the lowdown on what you should know about the profession and how to best select the planner that is right for you. Better yet, do you want someone that is gay or gay-friendly? Then find someone in your state that is registered on PridePlanners.com
Just like anything else, a failure to plan is a plan for failure.
Gay and lesbian couples really need to be as purposeful as possible in everything we do. Having our legal documents in place, having our health care proxies aware of our wishes, and having plans at least discussed for the inevitable are par for the course.
Reading this article brings to mind the horribly wrong funeral proceedings for Dana on The L Word. The minister at the funeral ceremony went on & on about how she had “never found that man to share her life with” etc- then Dana’s family refused to carry out the wish to have ashes scattered in the woods. The terrible if onlys gnawed at us as viewers- if only she had a lawyer involved when she talked to her friends about her wishes; if only she had gotten real and at least given some sort of outline to a minister or clergy (with a copy to a lawyer too) indicating how the memorial service should go…
Most of us older ones in our community can point to similar tragedies. Plan ahead! Talk about these things with trusted loved ones- and make sure the information also gets to people who will be able to carry out your choices in these matters.
Our pastor has a form that can filled out with specific information regarding ones wishes for memorial services. You can fill in music choices, passages to be quoted, information about your life you would like mentioned, etc. You can even write a special speech or poem to be read to those grieving your death. I am sure most denominations and congregations would have something similar. For those who do not have a church or spiritual home like this, I have heard that many funeral directors can keep this same type of information for those who preplan.
I looked into cremation in my area (Boston) and found it is super-cheap. Under $300. But I feel a bit squeamish about it and, if I follow Jewish tradition, I would not allow myself to be cremated. But we’ll see. Perhaps my concerns about money and the environment will tip the scales in favor of cremation…
I’m looking for _direct_ cremation services in the Boston area and so far haven’t found anything under $795. I’d love to know where Rhea found that under-$300 price.
I found the cremation for under $300 at Forest Hills Cemetery in Boston (Jamaica Plain)!
Thanks, Rhea!