Buying a new car is always a project. In our house it is one of those “sort of” joint projects. Because we haven’t merged our finances totally we each purchase, pay for, and drive our own cars. Sure, we borrow each other’s car from time to time and most definitely share driving duties on trips we take together. Yet, in the end the decision of what car to buy, when to buy it, and how to go about the process rests with the partner in the driver’s seat (pun intended!). In our latest venture of getting a new car for Kim, a number of interesting learnings played out for us including a few that stand out as unique to lesbian couples.

A while ago I wrote about the decision making process of whether to invest money in more maintenance or just take the dive and buy a new car. Needless to say, Kim decided it was time to buy something new especially since she didn’t enjoy driving the car she had. She spent weeks and weeks pouring over sites like Edmunds , Car and Driver, VEHIX and more researching different cars. She spent an equal amount of time cruising Kelly Blue Book and NADA to get an honest assessment of what her current car was worth as a trade-in. Last but not least she crunched a lot of numbers to determine how much money she could afford to borrow since besides her trade-in she didn’t have any additional funds to use as down payment.

She had all her details set and then it was time for me to get involved by running around on test drives with her. After our experiences with the last two vehicle purchases in 2000 and 2001, we decided we would opt for the Costco Auto Buying approach. It is one of those auto buying programs that has certain dealers in your area that are willing to honor their pre-negotiated prices which are usually several hundred dollars over invoice. It is the no-haggle approach I figured there would still be room for some conversation or negotiation on trade-in value as well as any other extras we might decide we wanted on the car from the base model we first requested.

According to Claudia Springer a negotiation expert who spoke at a conference I was at last week, on average women pay $500 more than men when buying a new car because they do not negotiate. I can believe that. In the past I never would’ve even thought of negotiating because I didn’t have sufficient information, knowledge, or let’s face it – backbone. So I can really see how this figure is true if not a little understated. As I see it there are women who are armed with knowledge and negotiate hard, those with information who negotiate, those who don’t even try to negotiate, and women who sadly have zero background information and simply pay sticker price because that is what she does when she goes to Macy’s.

After some test driving and intuition consulting, Kim narrowed it down to the Mazda 3i. That’s the car she wanted. And, truth be told, back in 2000 she really liked the Protege but never seriously considered it because of family opinion on Mazda’s (I’ve decided family opinions are much like the Jets vs. Giants or PC vs. MAC debates). We were lucky to have an awesome salesperson who simply laid out the facts as determined by the Costco buying program. Here’s the invoice dollars for what you want, here’s the Costco price. Simple.

So, we left to “sleep on it” for a few days. We came back to do another drive and see the car in daylight (we had our first test drive at night). Kim confirmed that she loved the car, knew she wanted gray, and then suddenly got sucked into wanting a moon roof. Truth be told we’ve both always wanted one but figured it was a luxury. However, at the ripe age of 37 we decided, if not now, when? So we re-entered the sales discussion with the added moon roof (It also comes with a 6 CD player which I kept calling a “6 dick” changer because my tongue was tied. I asked the saleswoman if she thought it was ironic that the lesbian couple was having so much trouble with the “6 dick” changer. She laughed uncontrollably.).

It was then time to get a figure on the trade-in. The day before we had the car detailed (one of those inexpensive at the local car wash detailing for $50) to clean up the rugs and some minor scratches on the exterior. I had read that detailing your car could increase its trade-in value and my neighbor whose husband is a car salesman agreed. So, we decided this small step would help make this 8 year old car look well cared for in the hopes of fetching a good trade-in. While I can’t comment directly on whether we succeeded, we did get a good deal and reasonable trade-in based on the blue book and NADA estimates.

With the trade-in value told to us and the final car price in hand, we sat around the table. The overall price after tax and tags was several hundred more than what Kim had deemed was her budget cut off price based on a five year loan amortization. So, I heard the negotiation presenter’s voice in my head and I started asking curious questions. I was curious about how our trade-in compared to the blue book estimates since what the dealer gave us was lower. I learned more about how the blue book often doesn’t take into account what is really happening on the dealer lots when they go to resell. More importantly this saleswoman who we had built up great rapport with simply asked — “tell me what you’re thinking. I can probably get the price down lower if we need to.” Kim then shared what she was looking for and the saleswoman took the proposal back behind the closed door to the wizard to see if it could be done. Indeed it could. So, simply by asking a question and bringing up the conversation, we saved an additional $250 which in the end brought our purchase price to just under $200 above invoice. I was proud of us….

So what I learned was that:

1) Never go car shopping without clearly knowing all the numbers. You can do invoice and MSRP comparisons right down to the individual upgrade component.

2) ALWAYS negotiate. Ask questions. Nothing is set in stone even if it is a pre-negotiated auto buying price.

3) Only work with salespeople who are honest, up front, and will work with you. We went to several dealers looking at different cars and all the people we dealt with were good. No slimy salespeople. If you’re not happy with who you find, go elsewhere.

One thing I wondered though is — do lesbians have a disadvantage when buying cars because they are 2 women? How does any LGBT bias factor in to anyone’s car buying experience male or female?

What has been your experience?

As for us….we’re excited to be picking up the new wheels tomorrow!

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Paula Gregorowicz is the Comfortable in Your Own Skin(tm) Coach and you can learn more at her website www.thepaulagcompany.com and blog www.coaching4lesbians.com.

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