Sleeping With Money: Down-and-Out Valentine
‘œThe doer alone learneth.’ ‘“ Friedrich Nietzsche
I never liked being single. Sure, I always tried to thrive during my alone time and often referred to this period as: The Year of Nina. Obviously, there was more than just one year of Nina. It was usually the year or two between my longer term relationships. Or the year I came out of the closet. That was some Year of Nina!
But not all of the years were fabulous. I recall one particular Valentine’s Day during my late twenties in between Partner #1 and Partner #2 when I wasn’t quite thriving. I was self-employed and basically broke. I had left a stable career, started a business (a product called The Paper Salad ‘“ what was I thinking??), depleted my savings and was now working as many demeaning service jobs at night just to afford my rent, car payment and health insurance. And I was alone.
No one to lean on. No one to love me. It definitely felt like a low point in life. I was living in Connecticut’¦ far away from my family in Ohio. I don’t think any of them realized how challenging my circumstances were at the time. Until the box arrived from my oldest sister…
It was a box full of Victoria’s Secret underwear in a selection of red, white and heart prints’¦ which is funny because I tend to be a black and beige kind of gal. Technically, the care package likely arrived shortly after Valentine’s and so I can almost guarantee she had found them on the sale rack and paid cash for them.
But that’s not the point of this lonely heart story. A few months earlier when I was home during the holidays she noticed I needed new underwear. I told you I was broke. I really was! And I was single so nobody was seeing my undies anyway. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
But I have two sisters and sisters tend to prance around in their underwear when they’re all under one roof. I remember another visit when I was the skinniest in my life (this would be an example of a good Year of Nina!) and my middle sister made me take off my jeans right in the middle of her living room to see if she could fit into them. She’s the competitive one. Point being, it’s not so weird for either one of them to take note of my intimate apparel.
My oldest sister did and this was her way of sending me a little box of love and support during a financially challenging period of life. I was alone, but I really wasn’t. Love and money come in many shapes and sizes. Sometimes it arrives unexpected and is red, white and heart shaped. Happy Valentine’s!
Feel free to tell me your best V-day money story below! It doesn’t have to have anything to do with sisters and underwear!
Not really money related- but my best ever V-Day story is:
9 years ago, I was somewhat depressed and out of sorts after the CHristmas holidays and into the winter doldrums. Christmas had been particularly hard as it was our 2nd Christmas waiting for a foster/adoptive child. Everything that had kids in it made me weepy- I once started crying walking past kids in line for Santa in the mall. Anyhow, by Valentines Day I was starting to come out of the funk and think about moving on to being more proactive.
Our local New Times newspaper always has free Valentines Day ads you can send to your loved one. I sent my partner Susan an ad that said something like “Our love has grown to where it can no longer be contained by two people. Let’s get more serious and get the baby…”
One week later we got a call from the social worker for our eldest Jayne had been born and needed a family.
The best belated Valentine evah!
Before I was out to myself and Kim & I were already a couple but had no clue that was going on (we were “just good friends”…) she gave me a claudaugh (spelling? – that irish symbol with 2 hands and a heart) ring. I was all excited yet confused about it. My parents were REALLY confused. But it was such a genuine gift and quite frankly after 16 years of being together, other than our commitment ceremony band it is the ring I wear the most (all bent out of shape that it is).
This is the first V-Day where I’ve actually done anything.
But before this, on our first V-Day as a “couple” I had to work that night. And Micah was working that day. So he stopped by the library with a chocolate bar and a few love poems he’d written. Made my night. The last 4 years we’ve just been apart.
DivaJean: Lovely story! I hope to share a similar one by next Valentine’s Day.
Paula: Ahhh… the subconscious “friendship” ring trick. I like that Kim more and more!
Mrs. Micah: I hope you and the Mister were able to do it up right and celebrate last night!