Sleeping With Money: Finding Love at Any Expense?
Being single can be an expensive proposition, especially if you’re looking for that special someone. While there are many ways to meet people’¦ most of them aren’t free. And spending money in search of love is more like the lottery than a guaranteed investment. But unless you’re blessed with exceptional social connections, you have to play to win.
Bars
Once a queer institution, the American gay bar seems to be in somewhat of a slow decline’”however it is still, for men especially, a frequent destination. In Atlanta, a cover charge can range from $5-$20 depending on the venue and drinks are pretty much $5 a pop city-wide. Other major metro areas may vary but here, one night on the town every week for a year will run about $1,300 (assuming $10 cover and 3 drinks).
Internet Dating
The industry average for monthly membership to a personals site is around 25-30$, but I think most sites that service the gay community are lower than that. The most expensive service I’ve seen is Mypartner.com’s ultra-premium ‘œConcierge Private Matchmaking’ package which starts at a cool $10,000. Gay.com, which is the largest site, costs $20 on a month-to month basis and is only $90 with yearly pricing. Hey it’s better than the bars right?
Penny-pinchers take note: Social networking sites, like Myspace, have the same kinds of profiles but you can use them for free.
Real Life Dating
First dates do not always lead to second ones and there’s no way to recoup the losses. An average dinner date in Atlanta never cost me less than $40. I usually try to at least split the bill, but sometimes they pay. When they do, my policy is to refuse politely… but only once. 😉
Fitness Costs
Sure, there are plenty of non-superficial benefits for working out, but if you’re looking for that certain someone, there’s nothing like a smokin’ hot bod to score some digits. The national average for gym memberships is $50, although LA Fitness (my gym) is less than $40. Nutritional supplements and personal trainers can really hike up the cost’¦ and we’ve covered the cost of losing weight here before.
Location, Location, Location
The gay population is noticeably more concentrated in large metropolitan areas; which is why many of us flee to them at the first opportunity. Life in the big city is probably one of the biggest invisible expenses: we pay for it in everything from milk to real estate. Cost of living can be anywhere from 10%- 50% higher than a small town. But for many, it’s a small price to pay for the community, tolerance and romantic possibilities.
While it would be supremely cynical to place a dollar value on love, we can account for money spent on the means to find it. And that raises a very interesting question: How much would you be willing to spend to find your (near-)perfect match? Is there a limit or are some things more important than being frugal?
What do you think?
(Note: I explore these topic regularly and in more detail on my dating blog.)
There’s dating for er… fun, and dating to find love. I’ve done a lot of both, and I met the man I’m going to spend the rest of my life with while studying in a coffee shop. Meeting Zac probably cost me $2 for the cup of coffee.
Granted, we met through a mutual friend, and it was a long comedy of errors before we even began to date.
I think if you’re determined to find love, you won’t stop at any cost, but it’s good to have limits in mind. There’s no telling when or how you’ll find love.
Though, personal experience tells me you can’t go wrong dating your friends’ friends.
Sometimes set ups can be a trap. If the date goes badly or if there’s a messy breakup down the way. But other than the exceptional meltdowns, I think most experts agree that social networks are the best for introductions.
I was just having a discussion over this with someone at work last night. Dating is sooooo expensive these days.
I’ll also concur with John; the best people I’ve dated were met by accident.