I’ve personally learned to set limits on giving over the years, and approach each relationship as a business investment.   Some people may think it’s a horrible approach, but I learned from my mistakes in life.   This is why I don’t regret what I’ve done, which is definitely a good thing.

One holiday year in my early 20’s my former partner and I had actually purchased over 100 gifts, which made no sense since we put it on credit cards (my credit cards).   After years of struggling and working up to 3 jobs, I got it paid off finally and was debt free for a while.   Unfortunately when I got into my second relationship, I chose to help rebuild my partner’s credit but therefore put a huge strain on my own.   I’m again in the process of rebuilding my own again.   What can I say ‘“ I’m a caregiver by nature which I inherit from my mother who’s a nurse by profession.

As a small business owner, I’ve learned a lot in setting limits on giving too. There were clients that I would go to the moon for, but as far as the amount of money I made from them was nominal, compared to those who made up the lion’s share.   I’ve also obtained two clients who are nonprofits, and in order to feel I needed to sell myself, I offered a discount on services.   Yes it did help me with a great feeling of ‘œdoing good where I could’ in the beginning but financially it hasn’t.   All told, over 20% of my sales income this year will be expensed off as discounts for their work; a rather huge number for a relatively new small business owner struggling.

I have learned to look at everything from a business outlook now in my life, whether it’s personal or just business, and I ask myself the same questions before, during, and after:

1.   What financial benefits will there be should I choose to pursue this avenue and is it the most profitable?

2.   What emotional benefits will be reaped should I choose to pursue this avenue and is it the most profitable?

3.   Will it benefit me in the long-term or is it only a short-term solution to a long-term problem?

4.   Will the relationship benefit the other side?

5.   Do I have options should I need to get out of the situation?

Everyone talks about impulse buying and how it’s extremely wrong for you, especially in the economic state we’re in now.   However, no one talks about the issue of impulse relationships and the lengths we go towards giving, ultimately for the feeling of validation, which everyone seeks on some level.

You have to ask yourself, is it worth it in the long run?   How much are you willing to give until a Return On Investment?   Do we simply need basic validation?   Ask yourself these questions next time when you’re presented with an opportunity and find out if it’s really worth it. You’ll thank yourself for doing so.

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Dwayne J. Briscoe, Owner
Bookkeeping-Results, LLC
Dwayne@bookkeeping-results.com

Photo credit: stock.xchng.