Tipping Etiquette: Why Do We Tip?
We’ve all found ourselves in situations where we were unsure of what to tip or whether it was proper to do so at all. While a number of establishments are beginning to eschew tips in favor included gratuity, an even greater number of new ‘œfast casual’ restaurant concepts are emerging that leave us with uncertain expectations. And depending on who you ask, the expectations of what’s proper can vary immensely.
Tip jars are a ubiquitous feature of almost every coffee shop and lunch counter. We tip the barista but not the fast food employee’”even though we’re just getting coffee at each place. If it’s such an inconsistent and confusing system, why do 80% of Americans support the practice?
Most people assume we pay gratuities to get good service. I’ve often heard the phrase ‘œTo Insure Proper Service’ as a notional etymology for the word tip. According to Wikipedia, the word itself actually meant ‘œto give unexpectedly’– which hasn’t been the case for some time.
The idea is that when someone is getting paid a variable wage based on performance, they work harder to deliver a personalized service. To some degree this makes sense, but studies have found that in most cases, diners tip 15-20% regardless of quality, thereby eliminating incentive.
If you think about it, tipping is a poor substitute for feedback. I had terrible service at a semi-nice restaurant and tipped 10%, which is half of what I consider ‘œappropriate’ for an establishment of that caliber. It felt vindicating at the time, but in retrospect, my server knew nothing about my normally generous habits. For all she knew or probably cared, I was just another satisfied, albeit cheap, customer.
The expectations and opinions of others nudge us toward compliance — no one likes to be seen as stingy. Here again though, the research suggests that people tip as much on vacation (when they can theoretically get away with stiffing) as when they’re in their own neighborhoods. Why slip an extra buck to a bartender you’re never going to see again? Okay maybe he’s cute’¦
Finally we may fork over some hard-earned cash out of the nagging sentiment that our cash wasn’t as ‘œhard-earned’ as the person carrying our burning hot plates across a crowded dining room. Waiting tables is no picnic and it’s a widely known fact that people in the service industry rely on tips for their livelihood. Minimum wage laws allow employers to pay tipped employees a lower rate, shifting their costs onto the consumer. It’s estimated that Americans pay twenty-five billion dollars or more in tips each year.
That’s a lot of tips. For us consumers it’s a feel-good expense but one that ultimately adds up just like utility bills and car payments. Over the next couple weeks I’ll be taking a hard look at some of the more confusing issues with gratuity and generating some discussion about what is, and isn’t necessary.
[EDIT: I struggled to find a satisfying conclusion for this post. Essentially, until we really understand why we tip and what impact it has we can only ever guess at best practices.]
So… Why do you tip?
When not pontificationg about the customs of gratuity, Mike writes Broken Cupid, a blog for single gay men.
I don’t think that tipping requires saying that your money wasn’t as “hard-earned” as that of waitstaff, but rather an acknowledgment of the ridiculous nature of paying service employees. I think it would be obviously better to pay those folks more and then include the tips that people pay as already factored in, but since that doesn’t happen, I don’t think it’s fair to punish people who are already underpaid and overworked because I’m feeling like being frugal that evening. I think that when you go to a restaurant – fancy or otherwise – you should factor in an additional 20% as the price of the meal, not think of a tip as an extra something you add in. If there are service issues, you should talk to a manager, because you’re totally right that undertipping doesn’t necessarily send the message that service was sub-par.
I think of tipping as a collective responsibility, much the same as following traffic patterns when you’re trying to merge – sure, you’ll personally get there faster if you drive on the shoulder and skirt around all the other people who are patiently waiting their turn, but at the expense of everyone else who’s doing their best. Waitstaff and service employees are generally doing the best they can in a less-than-optimal situation. Rather than focusing on the one person who really _deserved_ 10%, or no tip at all, we should be worried about everyone else who’s struggling trying to get healthcare. Being personally frugal does not necessitate competing with others for every last dime.
I tip a straight 20% for sit-down restaurants, 10% or $1, whichever is higher for to-go places, and if it’s a place that I frequent, I’ll round up to the nearest whole dollar.
Here in Oregon, service employees must be paid minimum wage plus tips, but in a lot of states they can be paid almost nothing and their ‘wage’ is their tips.
Additionally, many places the tips are divided between the waitstaff and the bussers, dishwashers, and barbacks. So if your waiter sucked, but the busser kept your glass full and got you a new fork when you dropped yours before you even noticed it’d been knocked off the table, and you tip 10%? You’re screwing everyone involved. I don’t know about you, but I don’t frequent eateries where 10% is more than piddly change.
I’ve worked menial and service-industry jobs. I respect folks doing those gigs a helluva lot more than CEOs wearing $3k suits.
Do you want to know the best way to ‘save’ money on gratuities? Don’t eat out as often.
@ Katie I also agree it’s a collective responsibility.
@ Mary Sue. Normally I tip 20% at any sit down place. And yes the 10% was truly deserved by all parties involved
What about tipping at buffets? It doesn’t seem right to tip the same % as you at a full service restaurant.
Also, I was always taught to tip on the pre-tax total, but most of my friends tell me that I’m misinformed (or cheap).
@AJ Buffets are a great example.
As far as tax goes — It really would depend on what’s being measured. In theory, it’s for service but you pay based on the food, like a commission. I always pay on the bottom line total, but unless your sales taxes are through the roof I can’t see that it would put you under an appropriate amount.
As a waitress and bartender, I obviously have some passionate opinions about this subject. All in all, I make very good tips because I go the extra mile for customers. I remember people’s allergies; I offer free dessert if the cook’s take too long on the entree; I bring a refill before you need to ask. That said, I will still have people sometimes that tell me I was fantastic and then leave three dollars on a fifty dollar check.
What people don’t realize is that I’m being taxed on my overall sales, not the actual tips. If I do a thousand dollars in sales, the government expects me to claim that I made 80-100 dollars in tips. In reality, at least a third of people don’t tip 15%. Let’s say I made 120 dollars that night (12%). Out of that, I give 18 dollars to the busperson, another five to the bartender and ten to the expediter (the person who runs out the food). That leaves me with 87 dollars or 8.7% gratuity over the course of the night. What if the food was taking a long time that night and I only made 10% off the bat? I’d be walking with seventy dollars or 7%… yet the government still expects me to have made more. I don’t want to risk an audit so I claim that I made more than I did. I get taxed on money I didn’t even make to avoid an audit.
Mike: I’m looking forward to this series… fun stuff that I think will generate a lot of comments and discussion.
Why do I tip? Protocol primarily. I typically leave 20%… on occasion when I feel like the service has been poor, I might skim a few bucks off the top but never less than 15%. I spent years waiting tables… and I remember that it’s hard work and long hours. Service people deserve 20% until they improve the pay system.
The tip jar at Starbucks is another story…
I tip based on the service. If it’s terrible service I still tip. I just leave them a penny. If I gave them nothing they’d just think “he forgot.” Leaving a penny let’s them know their service was really bad.
I regularly tip 20% at sit down restaurants, but generally don’t tip for take-out or for a $2 cup of tea at a coffee shop. Is that wrong?
Part of this week’s Carnival of the Insanities!
Having visited New Zealand, a country where tipping isn’t the norm, let’s just politely say…the service is horrendous.
I’d rather tip and get good, fast and efficient service than not worry about tipping and wait 45 minutes for my meal and find the waiter next to impossible to track down.
I am a barista and it is amazing to me the range of tipping baristas. There are people who tip near or even over if service is good, 100%, others are demanding and impatient and tip nothing for the same or more complicated service. One guy tips over a dollar for a cup of fresh brew, while another orders four blended drinks and tips nothing…
I tip because I feel guilty that someone has to listen to me whine about not wanting lemon in my diet coke and no onions on my sandwich.
I would like to know if a restaurant can make it mandatory to tip out to the busser/bartender/hostess/dishwasher? I always tip out 25-30% of my total tips, however my present employer says I must tip out 3-5%of my total SALES to the busser, 1% of my total sales to the hostess, 1% of my total sales to the dishwasher, and 5-10% of my total alcohol sales to the bartender. The other night this came to about 45% of my total tips! With all wait staff tipping like this, there is no doubt that a busser can make more tips in a night than I do as a waitress! So, please can anyone tell me is there a standard within the industry for tipping out to other employees and is it legal for an employer to set % of tips based on sales. I may work hard and sell 800 dollars worth of food, but only get tipped 10%. Which means I made 80.00. But if I have to tip out by the % of sales…I lose half my tips! Help!! Doesn’t seem worth it to waitress!
It’s real easy, do not tip at all. Make the owners of these establishments pay Thier staff the way any other business does. I do not tip anywhere I go, it’s that simple. If they are not doing their job they will get fired like the rest of us that do not work in the service industry. If your boss is to cheap to pay you a fair wage then get a new job like anyone else would. I for one will never tip.
I’m not a big tipper, and in fact, hate the practice because its more or less mandatory rather than an actual “tip”. It should be truly voluntary for good performance or added into the cost of services, IMO.
But one of the main problems is gratuity as a percentage. The waiter gets tipped based on the price of the dish or the service, and not based on their actual service. That means waiters in higher priced restaurants get higher tips even though those in cheaper establishments work just as hard, or some waiters can luck up and get a higher tip simply because the patrons ordered a higher-priced meal. Its all silly to me, and a stupid social custom that employers have exploited to get people to pay their employees themselves.
Anyway, I typically tip 0% for bad service (extremely rare), 10% for bare minimum service, 15% for average, and 20% for great service.