women and money‘œAs far as I’m concerned, being any gender is a drag.’ ‘“ Patti Smith

Much has been written about gender and money with women earning only a fraction of what men do. That said, sometimes the wage gap is reversed for gays.

All this talk got me thinking about what’s really holding women back when it comes to earnings. Is gender the real cause of disparity or at this stage, do we only have ourselves to blame? After all, I was brought up knowing that I could have any job that I wanted.

I can thank my parents for instilling this value. Is it safe to assume that most twenty and thirtysomething women were raised the same way?

Apparently not. In my money travels, I’ve learned that many women don’t feel this way. I recently interviewed Barbara Stanny, the author of Overcoming Underearning and daughter of the ‘œR’ in H&R Block said:

If you look at the 10 traits of an underearner ‘“ for example, they talk as if they’re trapped; they give away their power; they are self-saboteurs, codependent, vague about money and often anti-wealth ‘“ you can see every single trait is a result of a choice we made.

Above all, women must be willing to be uncomfortable, to do what they’re scared to do. The number one requirement to go to the next level in your life is the willingness to do what you think you can’t do. And a big part of that is valuing yourself.

Another way to characterize this is a phenomenon known as The Imposter Syndrome:

Individuals experiencing this syndrome seem unable to internalize their accomplishments. Regardless of what level of success they may have achieved in their chosen field of work or study, or what external proof they may have of their competence, they remain convinced internally that they do not deserve the success they have achieved and are really frauds.

Proofs of success are dismissed as luck, timing, or otherwise having deceived others into thinking they were more intelligent and competent than they believe themselves to be. This syndrome is thought to be particularly common among women who are successful in their given careers and is typically associated with academics.

Does any of this sound familiar? Take the Impostor Syndrome Quiz by Dr. Valerie Young and then continue on to her Ten Tips to Overcoming the Imposter Syndrome.

Money has a lot to do with self-limiting obstacles to success. Women tend to negotiate differently than men when it comes to salaries and asking for more money. Why are we willing to leave money on the table? If self-employed, why is it so hard to charge what we’re worth?

I don’t have answers. Rather the point with this post is to raise the question and hear from you. Your comments are welcomed below!