Graceful swanEvery event life throws at us gives us the opportunity to choose our response to it. In our response and our interpretation of events is where our true power lies. If you doubt the power, read Viktor Frankl’s Man’s Search for Meaning where the power to choose one’s response meant the difference between surviving and perishing in the concentration camps. Thankfully, most of us never have to work our “choice” muscle in such dire circumstances. Yet, life itself can be colorful and I do not doubt that we will all be given challenging circumstances from which to learn and work this power of choice muscle.

If you’ve been reading along, you know that I recently got laid off from my day job which was handling the basics as I build my business. I know I’m not alone as there are reams of people who lose their jobs every day. You only need to watch the news once in a blue moon to stay on top of the tens of thousands of jobs that seem to vanish from the landscape of big corporations every year (of course they often show up in the same corporations under different titles but that is a different story). For some the loss is devastating and for others it is the catalyst to something bigger and better. What separates these folks? The power of the choices they make.

As I see it, when the axe falls you have two choices: 1) Manage the transition and departure gracefully with an eye to an inspiring future or 2) Be a bitter SOB who wants to make those employees and bosses remain miserable (get those jabs in before the door swings shut).

What would you choose?

I know what I am choosing… I firmly believe in the law of attraction and know there is no point in wallowing in blame, what-if’s, or misery. After all, I did attract this circumstance myself. It may be just the kick in the pants I need to make things happen on a grand scale with my business. It is a chance to create something new for myself. I am committed to working together with my employer to make it as easy and productive a transition for both of us as possible. My guess is a lot of people don’t approach it that way which is why my director seemed unsure what to do when I asked the question “How can we work together to make sure both our needs are met in the best possible way?”. Deer in the headlights response for the most part.

Does that mean I don’t feel anger, upset, fear, and other “so-called negative” emotions? HECK NO. I am all over that too. Yet, in the type of coaching I do, I know the value of really feeling the feelings, honoring them, and finding the gifts in them. Let them inform and propel me rather than drag me down. We’re human and we’re going to have a human experience full of the vast range of emotions so why try and label and stop them?

In the past I might have chosen a more passive aggressive route — being pissed off at the system, the people I don’t like, and managers I don’t like. I would be negative and crazed and stressed looking for ways to get my digs in and make it tough for the folks who will be doing the work I was doing once I’m gone. What I’ve learned since then is that the only person who gets hurt when I hold resentments is me. I get to move through life dragging a concrete block tied to my ankle. No one else. Not to mention it is so un-attractive that I would just attract more of the same into my life. Ever know people who seem to have one negative thing after another happen to them and then they wallow in it for decades?

Whether you’ve ever lost a job or not — I throw out our favorite question here at Queercens — what would you do? Share your thoughts and personal experiences in the comments…I’d love to hear what you’ve learned or any fun stories you can tell.